Why do you think some people refuse to date their "own" race, is it a self-esteem issue, "reverse racism", or an inferiority complex of some sort?

Just kind of tired of seeing all these race questions, it seems like its mostly women posting it, oddly enough mostly black women.

Who wants to marry someone like this, do you tell your partner that their race was the main reason you picked them?
Most of my friends are white male and they don't date black woman not because of their race but they simply don't hang around them, I can buy that excuse.
I have nothing against interracial couples but I think that it should be because you love "who" that person is not "what race" they are that judges why you're with them.

*Why are some people narrow minded like that?
*If you are one of these people, do you consider yourself a healthy thinking person and what do others think of you?

Updates:
Is this similar to saying I don't want to be someone else's friend because of their "race"?

I understand you may not like your own race (which is sad) but why detail that to the world?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm a darker skin black girl and honestly a lot of black guys won't date me. Most black guys who only like light skinned black girls. Seeing as how I'm not light I don't get slot of black male approaches, or if I do approach then they don't reciprocate the feeling. A lot of white guys I know say " I wouldn't date a black girl but I would fuck a black girl". They're not really looking for a relationship, and once again they only like light skinned girls.
    Also if you do date outside your race as a black women it's very frowned upon, don't know why but it is.
    Also everyone has a type and we would all like to think that our type likes us back. And when they don't, or when the media doesn't commonly display your type liking you back, it hurts. It makes you feel like you'll never find what your looking for

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    • Everyone has an "image" of what they want but you do bring up a good point, I've heard what you're saying before.

      I've seen beautiful dark women, to me its the facial features and bodily attraction that hooks me not skin tone.

      A lot of people frown on interracial couples in general not just black females doing it but I've never heard a black guy say I wouldn't date a black girl just because he's dated white girls in the past. But I've heard black women say that.

      To me, in the words of the hodgetwins (youtube), "it doesn't matter if the girl is darker than night or brighter than the moon" beauty is beauty.

      Not all white guys are just trying to have sex with the woman some do want a relationship with the black girl they're dating.

      These people who say they want to try something "new" in general they're just being superficial because it shouldn't be about that.

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    • I love natural hair, I don't get why more black people don't do it. I've had naturally curly hair since 8th grade. It's not really the king type, but more of the curl type ( like 3b) if I had to pu a word to it

    • I mean yeah it doesn't have to be "unstylish". There are many fashionable ways to wear that hair-type, : )

What Girls Said 7

  • im not like that, but people who are generally have self hate issues and no pride. if there was a magic wand that would make them into another race, they;d want it. its so sad. I don't know why. I blame their parents. I know a lot of black parents were so focused on assimilating that they forgot to show their kids their own culture and that is ok to be themselves. I am not hating on interracial couples if u just happen to fall for someone who isn't ur color, but most of them have other issues for getting with another race

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    • I agree 100%, I mean when you look at successful, usually older, happier couples. It isn't about race, I mean generally people from similar demographics have similar values, interests, and preferences so naturally they'd be drawn to one another but still even if it is an 'older' interracial couple it wasn't about race for them, in the end.

  • i'm open to dating both within and outside my races

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    • Awesome!! Being open minded and unprejudiced is the way to go.

  • Some people refuse to date their own race because of internalized racism and stereotypes

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    • Yeah but does it seem fair to do that? I mean if someone looked at you and judged you as being a "stereotypical" member based on something that you can't control does that seem like an okay thing to judge people on?

  • I hate people who date because of race, whatever the reason. Whether it's because they feel like having a mixed kid, which is actually a real reason nowadays, or because they don't want to "dilute" their race which is also apparently a real reason.
    A person is a person, anybody who thinks otherwise is backwards so we don't need to worry about them, let them just stick together and breed more stupid.

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    • Yeah that's sad, it shows how animal and superficial people are, that you want your kid to look a certain way. Like a certain breed of dog, you should be with someone because you love them, having kids is an after thought.

    • Yea, plus there's really no telling what your mixed kid will turn out like lol, mixed people can literally look anything from all the way on the dads or all the way on moms side or they can look in between, they can turn out anyhow, so having kids for that reason is real dumb.
      I knew a couple white girls who did that, and I laughed so hard when their kids turned out looking basically white and not really mixed at all lol, they were disappointed I could tell lol.

    • Its a foolish and superficial reason to date someone. Follow your heart and guts, when people let things like "race and skin color" determine who they pick, then its as I say "Letting the trees block your view of the forest".

      They ignore the big picture of what forms the foundation for a successful family shouldn't be based on something so trivial.

  • I can honestly say that im most attracted to white guys, or almost only attracted to them. I am my self mixed, black and white, but i identify with white. Even dough at first eye glance i look foren or "black". Where im from if you're not white you are a foren (most of the time) and i never go for guys that physically look like me. I dont know if im attracted to white guys because when i grew up i went to class with only white people, played handball where i was the only non-white one and so on. Or because where i live if you are a foren its almost seen as a very negative thing.

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    • Wow... I am sorry but you sound like you just buy into your "culture's philosophy". But the demographics of your location are different than in a lot of other places.

      But you sound close-minded and superficial. It should be about the person whether they're foreign or not. You of all people being "biracial" and the product of an interracial bondage should get that.

      I don't understand what man black or white would want to be with you after they know what type of person you are and how you judge others?

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    • Sweden, hmm, I wouldn't have guessed. You said you "never" go for guys who bear physical resemblance to you.

      To me, "never" implies close-minded thinking.

    • You are just buying into your society's skewed perception in the way, its good you don't think foreigners of a different skin creed are bad.

      But what if a guy didn't want to be your friend because he preferred to have white friends?

      Should friendship be based on skin color, likewise, "kindness and compatibility" should be put before physical attraction, yet you make physical attraction a higher priority from the way you select "preferences".

  • I'm guessing this is just your way of saying that you and your friends aren't into black women? If you claim not, then why use us as the primary example of your question when you have shitloads of Asian women obsessing over white guys? Or Black guys obsessing over white girls? We black women aren't THAT much into white guys, so don't flatter yourself.. just because you see mainly black women posting, doesn't mean we all want you lol

    ANYWAYS - no, it's not right to date someone because of race :)

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    • No I am up for dating any race of girl, I don't have "preconceived notions" of what the girl should look like, as long as I am somewhat attracted to her.

      I've seen black, white, asian, and latina girls to whom I'd all was physically attracted to and would have loved to date.

      I do see a lot of Asian women dating white guys, as my college has a large percentage of Asians but I attribute that to "cultural" views. I've seen a lot of asian-asian couples to though so it doesn't seem to be that big of a thing.

  • I don't date guys of my own race/ heritage because there is too much baggage.
    I've done so but it never worked

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    • So you've dated guys your race and had bad experiences, I can understand from that perspective why you might look to other races. You sound like you are just opening up your options.

      My only thing is people who refuse it all together, like any of the person was a good match, good personality, and attractive then they would still refuse all because their skin colors are too alike.

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    • For sure :)

    • But a man like that is also a "10" and he's probably going to want a "10", LOL!

What Guys Said 3

  • I wouldn't say that I'm opposed to chasing after my own race, but I find mixed race or something different than myself much more interesting and therefor capture my attention.

    For the longest time I thought I wanted someone like me, but after going through two relationships with white girls (I'm white), I find myself much more attracted to girls outside my own race, or mixed girls... especially mixed girls. WHY? Because they're not like me, and they're different.

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    • Yes same

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    • If you're dating them for looks only, yeah that's superficial.

      But lots of times they have different cultural backgrounds that you might find interesting.

      ie. I'm white, I'm chasing after a girl who Half-Japanese, Half-Latino. She's from South America. I just can't get enough. She's so different (physically, intellectually, culturally)... like I said... I just can't get enough.

    • Lol... I see the "excitement and thrill" factor gets to you but that'll 'fade' pretty quickly in a "long term relationship" when you realize women are just women regardless of their race.

      Their are princesses and b****es in women from every race. Once you're with that mixed race girl for about 6 months and you've learned a lot of her culture and been intimate with her.
      You'll realize in the end she's just another woman, hopefully a good one, : )

  • Its everything you just mentioned.

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    • Lol... yeah I guess so, but I just wouldn't date at all if I wasn't happy with my own race. People simply aren't just defined by the skin color or race.

      I know not all women of every race fit their stereotypes so whether I see a black, white, asian, or latina woman who seems like a decent person then I don't reject the idea of being their friend and dating them because they're that specific race.

  • I've never really been attracted to pure Filipino girls because they remind me of family.

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    • However, I'm still quite proud of being mixed half Filipino and half white.

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    • They're not my type, but I've seen some pretty fucking hot ones.

    • There's always exceptions.

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