What does she mean when she says "It's not a date right?"?

Asked her out. She asked for time to think about it. We've hung out several times since then. I've never pressed for a follow up. She drops it on me this time when we're going out.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • She sounds like she's on the fence between friend and relationship-esk. You have her where you want her but she might slip away. You need to say or do something to win her over without looking desperate. It's a fine line. Find out her intentions too and be on the same page as her. Know when to be direct and indirect.

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    • I forgot to drop in the description that we know each other for 3 years now. Your response is most relevant.

What Girls Said 4

  • really depoends. you wouldhave to ask her what sewants/ why she asked.

    she could be making sure you dont want to date her bc she doesn't want to date ANYONE.

    or doesn't want to date you.

    or bc some guys expect sex after a date so she's making sue she's not going to have to say no to sex at the end of the evening or get raped bc she doesn't have sex right away.

    or she might really like you but doesn't want to come ot and say it so is playing it cool as if making sure YOU dont get the wrong idea, when really she's worrying about getting the wrong idea.

    or she may like you but be getting over a bad relationship

    or getting over a stay at an insane asylum

    or maybe someone died or she's moving to the congo

    or maybe she just likes being friendsFIRST.

    seriously her behavior pisses me off. if she had just TOLD you what she was about instead of asking you seemingly ambiguous questions, wed bypass all of this and youd know exactly why yore hanging out with her.

    imo, if i didn't want a hang out to be considered a date id TELL him its not a date... i would not ask him bc its not his decision whether im dating him r not. and to ask HIM about MY DECISION is just retarded. then proceed to explain myself. bc it might NOT be that i dont like him and or am not into him in the future.

    her asking you is just fucked up wrong and weak on so many levels. this is all very unnecessary.

    Even if it was a rhetorical statement which you telling us about her inflection would help to decipher.. still its a butt stupid way of dealing ith things. if i was you by like for her would have just gone down from 100 to 70... and falling.

    but you ought to ask her hats up just so you know instead of jumping to conclusions with a bunch of people you dk and who dk her. go ask the girl what she wants:)

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  • It means you're just a friend to her and she wants you to know she doesn't think of you as anything more

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    • That is what I was going to say. Head. Nail. Hammer.

  • It seems you do like her. But she may not feel comfortable with you yet. It's not like ewwww but she wants to get to know you better. It's not a date. Goes one or two ways. Number 1: She likes you but thinks you don't like her that much. Number 2: She's scared because she doesn't know you fully yet. Make you move and go through the date.

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  • You should be able that out, darling. If she wanted to date you, and do all the couply stuff she wouldn't say that. You deeeeep in the friendzone

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What Guys Said 3

  • You describe a cautious female. If you cannot approach a conversation about the whys of her behavior, such as "Why do you ask that question?" consider her just a friend for only friends go out together on non-dates. Since she is slow about framing the nature of the relationship with you, you are free either to socialize with other girls just as you do with her or to just orbit around this girl in your present ill-defined acquaintance until she decides what she wants to do with you. I'd suggest that you acquire other female friends for non-dates and widen your social orbit since it seems you are a guy she feels she can take or leave while she looks around for a serious relationship.

    Alternative explanations for her quasi aloof behavior might be that she is going to medical school or has a demanding job precluding time for close relationships and so forth, she plans to move, or she does not perceive you as a serious partner.

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  • Tell her if she wants a resume you don't have one on you at the moment but you'll get back to her. Then leave her at the restaurant and go find someone who will fuck you without a background check.

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  • It sounds more like "You dont like me do you? Eww, awks".
    If she brought it up on her own she's been clearly thinking about it so idk. Did you say yes or cop out?

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    • I didn't say anything in reply to it, but when we went out after a couple of drinks I asked her about it. We got to talking, she said she's still thinking about it, but we actually made some progress she brought her feelings up and talked about them with me, which was a big deal. We're best friends and have talked about everything except for what we thought about one another. And she brought up some shit that I had forgotten about.

      I think that she's legit thinking about it.

    • Brought her feelings up about it? What did she say?

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