Should I become a jerk, and if yes, how do I do it?

I'm beginning to accept that girls generally like bad boys, I know that, the thing is, is, I don't know what to do because of it. I've tried being the bad boy, I really have, but it's not me, so I don't feel it, it's not a part of me. I don't even know how to create it, even if I tried to call on the bad side of me, that side is pretty much psychotic from depression, it's basically just all the hatred and bitterness I feel at everything subconsciously, but refuse to give in to. The thing is, I enjoy being nice, I like being good, I like thinking I'm the good guy, in some ways the hero, the thing is, girls hate that stuff. In our world, kindness is weakness, and being nice to a girl you like is seen as wrong, while being cold hearted and even mean is the correct course of action. That doesn't even make sense, why wouldn't you be nice to someone you care about? What kind of sadist would be cruel to the girl they like? Then, there are the idiot guys like PUAs that perpetuate this idea in males, but even worse are the girls who demonize being a nice guy. I mean, if you get rejected for being kind, and then get demonized for it to the point of being seen as a loser or even hateful and misogynistic, how can you not go crazy, how can you not just give up on being nice and decide that cruelty is the best option? Like, how is kindness misogyny, and, why can girls get upset for being rejected, but not guys, I mean, we try to be tough, we really aren't machines at our core, hence why we tend to snap (not that hurting people is right, it's never right to harm innocents). I've even gotten on dates with girls, usually to be rejected in the long run by someone that doesn't even treat them with basic respect, what am I to think of that? So, I'm confused, I'm sick of waiting for this magical perfect girl that probably isn't even real, or won't enter my life till I'm pushing 40 (dating at 35 whoopie) but I also don't know how to change myself, I know it's not me, advice?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • no u shouldnt. we always can make choices in our lives to determine our future. choosing a bad path is never right. yes there are girls out there who are attracted to bad guys, but in the end they have their hearts broken. u wouldn't want to be a bad guy who break a good girl's heart because of your previous experience with girls who didn't appreciate u right? it isn't fair to the good girl because she didn't do u any wrong.

    i am a boring person because i dont do things that bad girls do, i know some guys go for those girls but i still want to be a good person. :)

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    • I don't really no many bad girls (I don't really know what they are) but most girls I've met attempt to be nice at first.

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    • Oh... but, I've known very nice girls or even girls that are just quiet that went after jerks, so, I don't know if that's a qualifier.

    • i dont see the need to change myself over people who doesn't appreciate me. i can only be number one in a man's heart and not one of his many options

What Girls Said 6

  • please don't trust me its all good to play hard to get but becoming a jerk its a lot different. Bad boys are a turn on for some girls but being a rude, arrogant, self absorbed pig is a big turnoff. Girls don't want to feel like shit from the guy they like its the worst thing to feel. But the best feeling is not knowing what to expect from a guy. And also remember however you act is going to bring the girls like that to you... do u want a jerk girlfriend... i doubt it
    hope it helped a little xoxo

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  • I don't think you should be a jerk you should just try and be more confident. girls aren't attracted to "jerks" its the confidence, the mystery that comes with them. Sometimes its the challenge that makes girls go for jerks, the whole "I'll be the one to change him" stuff. And no matter how much we deny it looks are apart of it too you can be the nicest person ever but if the girl doesn't find you attractive then you'll always just be a friend. You should just be yourself and the right person will eventually come along.
    good luck with whatever you decide to do:)

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  • Be yourself. The kind of women that like jerks are insecure and eventually realise they have issues. Therefore, you are wasting your time with them, for obvious reasons. Be yourself, be patient - and the right girl will appear!

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  • I think what you want to do is increase your confidence level, not be a jerk. Most of the time, girls are attracted to so called 'jerks' because they give off a confident aura, which keeps them coming for more.
    Personally, I find nice guys the sweetest, cutest people ever, but I guess in your case, the girls just don't roll that way.
    Maybe you should incorporate some allure into how you talk with them. Winks, and those 'looks' always help. Keep it interesting, and don't go full out sweet; turn the mystery level on and keep them guessing.
    Good luck!

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  • Working out will get a guy more attention from the girls he wants it from than being a jerk.

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  • Don't change trust me. It'll all be worse. Girls don't often like bad guys. They like funny guys that aren't mean. Be yourself!

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What Guys Said 4

  • Girls will tell you that you should not, but it's not true. If you want girls to look at you, you must go to gym and gain muscle. At least abs and a chest. Then, you must have money, if lots of them, better... Like use Vans or Doctor Martens boots, expensive stuff. They say what matters is the inside, while good guys like me and you never get any girl. They care 60% about phisics, 30% about the inside and 10% about money. Of course, it's not all of them, but pretty sure it's 90% of girls nowadays. Good luck there.

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  • You can't be nice and expect to get a girl just because you're nice. Looks, height, muscle, money, etc comes in factor too for girls. Those bad boys had at least one of these attractive traits to catch a girl's attention. Personality only matters if you're already either good looking, tall, muscular, rich, etc.

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    • Then why bother?

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    • So I should chase after girls I'm not attracted to? Screw that noise, I'd rather be alone.

    • Maybe those girls are in the same league as you and the reason why you can't get a girl is because you're being shallow by expecting a girl way out of your league.

  • Girls are gonna tell you you shouldn't... What an irony...

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  • Should I become a jerk, and if yes, how do I do it?

    Act normal.:)

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