Should I become a jerk, and if yes, how do I do it?

Anonymous
I'm beginning to accept that girls generally like bad boys, I know that, the thing is, is, I don't know what to do because of it. I've tried being the bad boy, I really have, but it's not me, so I don't feel it, it's not a part of me. I don't even know how to create it, even if I tried to call on the bad side of me, that side is pretty much psychotic from depression, it's basically just all the hatred and bitterness I feel at everything subconsciously, but refuse to give in to. The thing is, I enjoy being nice, I like being good, I like thinking I'm the good guy, in some ways the hero, the thing is, girls hate that stuff. In our world, kindness is weakness, and being nice to a girl you like is seen as wrong, while being cold hearted and even mean is the correct course of action. That doesn't even make sense, why wouldn't you be nice to someone you care about? What kind of sadist would be cruel to the girl they like? Then, there are the idiot guys like PUAs that perpetuate this idea in males, but even worse are the girls who demonize being a nice guy. I mean, if you get rejected for being kind, and then get demonized for it to the point of being seen as a loser or even hateful and misogynistic, how can you not go crazy, how can you not just give up on being nice and decide that cruelty is the best option? Like, how is kindness misogyny, and, why can girls get upset for being rejected, but not guys, I mean, we try to be tough, we really aren't machines at our core, hence why we tend to snap (not that hurting people is right, it's never right to harm innocents). I've even gotten on dates with girls, usually to be rejected in the long run by someone that doesn't even treat them with basic respect, what am I to think of that? So, I'm confused, I'm sick of waiting for this magical perfect girl that probably isn't even real, or won't enter my life till I'm pushing 40 (dating at 35 whoopie) but I also don't know how to change myself, I know it's not me, advice?
Should I become a jerk, and if yes, how do I do it?
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