Who do you think should pay for the date?

Hi everyone. I'm not a feminist or anything, in fact there are plenty of things in the feminist theory that I disagree with, but when it comes to love and dating, who should pay for the date. As to defend the male's point of view, we want to be the provider and the protector - when the female partner pays for the food, it's almost like depriving us of our usefulness - as if to say that we're not strong enough. I know it might be stupid in the eyes of girls but I'm sure other guys will immediately understand what I'm talking about.
What do you think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I always expect guys to pay each time (as this is chivalrous, and as the correct etiquette is that the person that asked for the date, should pay ). I do offer to pay for small things like taxis etc though. I offer to pay also for meals (i. e go dutch), but do internally expect them to pay, as it is gentlemanly. My view is that they should be pulling all the stops out to impress, especially as you might take up an offer for someone else that treats you better otherwise!

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What Girls Said 12

  • Yeah... I totally get what you are saying... on the receiving end... as a woman it's nice to be taken care of... but that said... my BF and I always switch off paying for food... when we first started going out I insisted on separate bills... It would be nice if my BF would pay most of the time... but it's not realistic since he doesn't have a job and is still in school... I have two jobs... so I guess it makes sense for me to pay. My mom always taught me not to pay for a man's food because then he'll take you for granted... hasn't happened to me yet

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  • After a few dates, and things are going Well, Dutch treat is fine, And Depending on both partie's agreements to this, or maybe take turns.
    However, the First date, of course, He should pay, perhaps the Second, and Again----Unless She offers to lend her helping hand. xx

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  • Well, I'd eat even if I wasn't on a date so clearly I don't actually need a man to buy me a meal. A couple should alternate who pays for the date.

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  • I kinda feel uncomfortable when a guy pays for me. For the couple dates we have been on my boyfriend has paid but when we're just hanging out I'll either pay for myself or we'll buy little things for each other. My boyfriend gets paid a lot more than I do and was raises to always pay. I know he gets stick from his family when he doesn't pay so for now I just go with it.

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  • I think the guy should pay the first time and then you start alternating. This keeps it relatively fair.

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  • Never ask a woman out and have her pay for the first date. I think the guy should pay especially if he ask you on a date.

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  • I think the first few dates you guys should pay for yourselves but as it progresses let him pay a bill one time and you pay a bill the next

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  • lets put it like this i hate anyone buying anything for me.

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  • The guy should if he feels comfortable. Until we decide to maybe help and care for the guy.

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  • Whoever asked, pays.
    If the man asks the girl out, he should pay.
    If the woman asks the man out, she should pay.
    In established relationships, maybe just trade off if one doesn't actually "ask" the other.
    There's no reason one person should have to pay EVERY time.

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  • honestly i think it depends who asks out who like if asked me out id expect him to pay but if i asked him out then of course id pay unless he wants to pay then we can split or something. like for example movie dates if a guy asks me out to a movie he would pay for the tickets id offer to pay for snacks or the arcade games

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  • I like paying for myself, but if we're on a date I also appreciate him at least OFFERING to pay. The guy I've gone out with a couple of times now hasn't offered once, and now I'm questioning whether he likes me in a romantic way, or just in a friend way.

    (and also you should be a feminist because it doesn't just mean equal rights for women, it means equal rights for people in general) (just saying)

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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't feel the protector aspect toward picking up the check. She and I go back and forth on who picks it up. It's mostly a matter of who paid last time.

    If a woman expects the guy to pay every time and she's got a job, she should be expected to do a whole host of other sexist things in return.

    If you're trying to impress her and you're relying on money, and it works, she's only after your money.

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  • I think it should be 50/50

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  • Both, depends on the situation.

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  • At this point I really don't care who pays. I just want women to figure out what the fuck it is they want from men, and I want feminists to stop being the biggest hypocrites in human history.

    Feminism means equality for everyone? Give me a fucking break.

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