My whole life I have experienced the same thing, men ask for my number and text a couple of times, it goes nowhere - why does this happen?

Have been single most of my life. Told at times that I am attractive. I am now 30, told I look younger, am very slim etc. I mostly meet men in nightclubs and party situations and a few online. Same pattern ensues. I send polite non intense, topline messages, and don't write anything weird. I don't know where else to meet guys, and I don't want to proactively 'look' (i think these things should be organic and guys should chase' and i don't go out just to meet men etc, so dont want to go out my way to do so? Just wondering if you guys can shed some light on why the guys just disappear. Do you guys ask for girl's numbers, when you are not interested and why? thanks


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Most Helpful Guy

  • " I send polite non intense, topline messages, "

    So you write generic platonic, nothing at all sexy or flirty or *interested* messages... and then you wonder why they aren't interested in you?

    "I don't want to proactively 'look' "
    Right, otherwise you might actually *find* something, and we don't want that, do we?

    In simplest terms a guy will ask for your number if he's physically attracted to you - but that's just the proverbial foot in the door. If you don't do something, he's not going to actively pursue you. You know this now from long experience.

    When he asks for your number, decide if you're interested in him. And if you are, then your messages had BETTER indicate that to some extent. Some sort of playful flirtation which signals your mutual interest, had better find it's way from your keyboard to his eyeballs.

    Otherwise, you've just told another guy you're not interested in him, and he moves on to the next girl.

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    • I couldn't agree more!

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    • Tbh, I thought that the response that I typically give i. e below, satisfies that criteria?

    • Sorry, but no, there's nothing flirty about it.

What Guys Said 3

  • Either your personality isn't strong enough for them to carry on past a few texts, or you're just a toy to them. If you meet them at parties and nightclubs, chances are that they're just after your looks, and then decide to ditch you before you start to think it's becoming serious. I would suggest to search for men in a more respectable place, and then to call them rather than text after obtaining their number. When it comes to romantic situations, texting is just too childish sometimes.

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    • Not sure I can be bothered to 'hunt' tbh. What respectable places are you refering to?

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    • Thank you. May you find a man that is not as inconsiderate as the ones you have described.

    • Time will tell!

  • Much of the time guys just aren't that good at keeping conversation going. It's often the girl driving it or at least providing the cues for them to act on. If you dry up response wise it could just fade.

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    • I agree. But i dont want to chase guys as it is kind of predatory/desperate, hence permanently being in this predicament :( Thanks for your time in answering though!

    • Thank you =) Not so much chase, but once a week or so you could send a message if you had something to talk about or ask. Other than that I'd let them start and then it will be upto you more than half the time to keep it interesting lol.

  • Because then they prolly find hotter chick. I know it because I do same

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    • Why don't you just date them all/both?

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