So I'm 18 and I have this close friend who is 14 *I'll call her Hannah* and obsessed with this guy * I'll call him Sam* she apparently had a thing with. So she's gotten me to text him a fair bit, to organise things because she's not allowed to talk to him... because he is 25..
I've since become pretty good friends with Sam, and he's said that she's making it up and exaggerating the story... So anyway.. this was 7 months ago, but Hannah is still like in love with him, never stops talking to him...
But the problem is Sam has asked me to take me out sometime and he's being really nice to me and I kinda like him... But I know I can't really go there with him because Hannah would hate me...
It's just annoying because even though Sam has talked to her saying nothing will happen and that she has to move on, she won't listen and still thinks he loves her... I've tried telling her to move on, because I can't actually handle her talking about it anyway. It's really tiring because I'm going through problems to but whenever I mention a tiny thing she goes back to hers...
So here I am, liking this guy that she's obsessed with and Sam asked me to dinner, but I haven't a clue what to do...
Please please please help.
I don't want to be a horrible friend but it's not fair that she won't move on after apparently nothing? And she's 14 and he's 25! Ugh.. Just please help..
- That's cruel, don't do it.Vote A
- Yeah, don't worry about it..Vote B
But he just told me, to get her off his back he told her to wait until she was 17.. So she's holding onto that
Most Helpful Girl
In the last few weeks, have been 'Most helpful' in Answering Bud blood, and it all comes down to the same thing: If you Both are as 'Close' as you say you are, almost like 'Besties,' then yes, it would hurt her deeply, and she most likely would never forgive you. However, your case is a bit 'different' than my usual ones, for she is only----14.
I don't like the idea that 'Sam' has been leading her on in his own indirect ways. This is giving her false hope, making her hang on longer for dear life, and it is putting a monkey wrench into his Own Love life. Even if it were with another girl, there sits poor 'Hannah,' on the sidelines, pining and waiting for her Prince Charming.
Let's start with a new approach here. Sam needs to First Off, level with Hannah and explain to her that he has done some soul searching and it feels it best that being he is Much older and wiser, that he has decided that he doesn't want her to 'Hold on to that,' and please, Do not Contact me again, he should say. That means: No more accepting her texts, block her if he has to, and just absolutely Nothing that means she can hear or feel he is close to her heart.
With that being said, let it ride for awhile. Then, slowly, and it really Is no one's business, go out with Sam as a friend for now. Tell him on Hannah's behalf, it is Only out of respect. And don't let on to her that you are seeing him... Be discreet. This will give her a chance to lick some war wounds, and of course, you will have to be there for her.
In actuality, starting out with friends with him, you don't really know where it will go. And if it ends up to be a serious saga, then Later... Sit your friend down, for by then she may have moved on and maybe even had found a bf, and explain to her what had happened. Tell her because she wanted You to be involved, it took another twist of things.
Good luck. xx0
- Show AllShow Less