Dating someone a lot older or a lot younger than you?

Dating someone who is close in age seems to work for obvious reasons but sometimes a person is attracted to someone much older or younger.
How much age difference is too much and please explain why.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • My guy is 11 years older. He's a prof. at my school but I don't take classes from him and we don't live together. Our relationship is pretty open, meaning we can date. I can but I usually don't. No reason I guess. I'm not ready to settle down, and I'm not really looking for much other than an occasional hook up.
    I lean toward the academic guys, always have. No nerds, not really. My guy is really smart, but a jock too in that he played football in HS, but that was it. He's nice, not obsessive, pretty much in love with me but knows I'm not ready to get more serious. He is ALWAYS there for me. I like that. :))
    I don't know if I really answered your question. Some girls just like older more mature guys. That's me for sure.

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    • My darling your answer is exactly what my question was looking for! :) I thank you for it!

      As I am an older man who is highly attracted to younger women. I wanted to find out how others view age gap relationships. Since yours has all of the characteristics that mine would it is particularly relevant to the issue.
      I'm sure your prof. Isn't taking advantage of an impressionable youth but rather he is fortunate and grateful to be involved with a woman who is on his level intellectually but he still gets to have unbelievable sex with the hot young chick that you are!

    • Well... that's just me so I don't know what conclusions you can draw from that. I will say it runs in our family for sure. I see you're not going to let age get in your way either, and find someone younger, yet compatible. Happy Hunting!

    • I clicked on your follow button. Just sayin'

What Girls Said 14

  • It may sound weird and totally uncommon for a female, but I'd rather date someone a lot younger than me than someone a lot older. It probably has something to do with the "control" thing.
    I prefer guys my own age though or slightly younger (1-2 years). I am 23.

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    • Hmm, that is a different point of view. All the opinions and the different explanations have helped a lot. I thank you for being so honest. :)

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    • No not weird at all. Whatever works for you. (cougar) LOL!

    • I am not "old". I am a young adult, so I do not consider myself a cougar (yet lol).

  • I am 16 and my boyfriend is 22.
    The way that I look at the whole age difference thing is that... It doesn't really matter love is love! I mean obviously it may seem strange if you are 16 and dating a 46 year old...
    I guess when you are 18 things change and the way people look at age difference changes as well. If you are 18 and with a 46 year old people may not care as much, yeah some may think it is weird but if you are under 18 and are with a 46 year old it sort of becomes unacceptable to most.
    My parents are 10 years apart... Mum was 16 and Dad was 26 when they got together and I look at that as fine. I suppose each to their own but personally I think that a 10 year age gap once you are mature and ready for something like that is fine!

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  • For me - 4 years younger or older -- anything more and it's a no no.

    {doesn't mean there aren't exceptions, just haven't met one yet}

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  • I always date older men. I see nothing wrong with it i'm 19 and I've dated men a lot older than me like in their 30s. I just like older men because they are so much more mature than guys my age. I enjoy the conversations that we have and the time we spend together. I don't like to date guys younger than me or my age because they have this thing where they try to hard to be "cool". I don't care about someones status in life I care about their personality. guys my age in general aren't looking for something serious just a hit it and quit it. Men that are older have grown up and understand things much differently. I enjoy being with someone that I can have long conversation with about things like books and the world.

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  • I would like to date a guy older than me or about the same age since guys mature slower. Dating someone way older than me would be just weird and I wouldn't think of them as someone I'm dating. Someone younger would just be a no because guys mature slower and I hate it when people can't be serious when its time to be serious. I want someone that can be fun at the right moments and serious when its time to get serious.

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    • That is a wise viewpoint

    • I think the "maturity" thing for guys is overstated, and really more cultural. We are groomed to study and be compliant, they are encouraged to investigate and push envelopes. I think when I was very young I wanted to be more like a boy, and I hear that from a lot of girls. Guys can remain boys almost forever and I personally think that is one of the reasons they age better than we do. Not the entire picture but a big part of it. I also think this is one of the reasons many of us are attracted to older guys, because he is still and always will be a boy at heart. How desirable and enchanting. I think we can learn from them, stop cutting one another so much, and not take various situations so damn serious. I so love guys, am probably a little jealous of their lifestyle, and I am trying to be less competitive with girls.

    • Well if you had been were I have been and having to be around my brothers then it might be different for you. Most of the guys act better now that we are older but some of them still have a lot of work to do.

  • Im 21 i've dated someone who was 35 years old. I like older men, because they are more mature. I can't stand games and childish behavior from someone say under my age. I draw the line at 35. (25-35)

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  • I go with the "half your age plus seven" rule, because it seems reasonable to me. I wouldn't go for someone who is much older, because I would feel inferior and unworthy of him.

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  • Anyone much younger than me... I'm going to jail.

    Anyone much older than me... He's going to jail.
    I have to wait a couple of years.

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  • for older men, anything over 20 years is maybe too much
    for younger men, anything younger than 10 years is maybe too much

    but I mean it's not a rule. just what I think/experienced.
    it can work, every situation is unique

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    • I think it's interesting that from a woman's perspective your willing to date a man 20 years older than you but no more than ten years younger.
      Are currently in a relationship? If so, how is it going and what's your age gap?

    • no I'm not in a relationship.
      Men and women mature at different stages. I don't think I'd find a guy mature enough who is more than 10 years younger than me. But again, I might be wrong.

    • I'm not in one either at the moment. May I pm you?

  • well I've only dated the ages of youngest being 1 year younger and oldest being 4 years older, thats only what I've dated tho i got no idea if i would date any younger or older tho, depends on who the guy is :)

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  • This guy I'm interested in is 35, I'm 27. I have no issues with it.
    When we first met, about 2 months after we met, he asked if I would consider dating someone older.
    However, I don't feel comfortable with someone younger.

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    • Yes, younger does seem like it's more risky. There may be maturity issues

    • I don't know I just feel odd with a guy being younger than me. Of course if it was only by a few months or something, that's a different story.

  • If you have over 5 years in difference to me its too much because over that 1 person is too immature and the other doesn't relate to your childhood or what you grew up with

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  • I would prefer someone who's close in age.
    Dating someone who's younger wouldn"t work. I wouldn't stand a certain behavior. In the other hand, dating someone who's older wouldn't work either.
    I wouldn't be able to understand him, he wouldn't understand me.
    There's also another problem: I'm a virgin and I know that an older guy would want to have sex. If I explain to to him that I'm not ready for it he wouldn't understand. He also wouldn't have patience to wait until I'm ready and he could be violent towards me or force me to have sex with him.
    So, nor too old nor too young for me.

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    • So you think it might work for you if he's within a year or two of your age?
      That sounds reasonable

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    • Please pm me! I am very interested in chatting with you.

    • Okay. I will do it.

  • I strongly prefer 5 years on either direction.

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    • I think that's a safe range when your younger

    • I don't think I can be considered younger...

What Guys Said 7

  • If by 'dating' you mean just selling your body for entertainment, age difference isn't really a problem!

    But if you 're looking for a life partner, you should restrict yourself to mpeople close to your age

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  • I am 13 years younger than my girlfriend of 11 months. We get along very well. We are there for each other emotionally, financially, mentally, physically, sexually, socially, and spiritually. We love each other, care about each other, loyal to each other, have lots of fun together, honest with one another, can talk about anything with each other etc. To me the age difference does not all mean a relationship will work and it does not always mean it will not work.

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    • It is because of your age and maturity that leads me to believe that the older one gets the less an age gap matters

  • i could date a 70 y. o. old woman if she was looking less than 40

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    • Lol! If you find one let me know if she has a cute sister. Ha ha

  • I've dated a girl 2 years younger than myself a while ago. WORST MISTAKE EVER. Dating younger women is terrible, they're extremely immature and needy.

    I don't think I'd want to date older either. The closer se is to my age, the better.

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  • Nobody know the age difference!!! These are not fixed numbers if you know.

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    • Wow! I'm sorry but I'm not understanding your response. Could you elaborate?
      Or did you not understand the question?

    • I mean, we can't really tell how much age difference is to much. We can't say to much is a 20yrs, when it could be more than that. I've see young, dating old. lol

      Therefore we can't give a right number to describe the max number of age, there is no such thing. I would be stupid to say a max number of years, that is different from what happens in real world.

      Eh, we can try to suppose a normal limit, but it has no reason to think about a number.
      Funny:)) but

      If you know how, you can attract the woman 20yrs little than you. It's about the person you find and the words you put on practice (making her dream about the situation). And by this, you change woman's perspective over a max age that she could date!

    • Thank you so much for clarifying your response.
      It is not easy to say what is right or wrong in these situations. But getting opinion and having discussions helps me to gain a deeper understanding of these issues.
      Your opinions and comments are helpful and I thank you for them. :)

  • I'm 25 and have a 5 year rule each way. 20-30 is my age range.

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  • Anything more than 8 above or 20 below it too much for me.

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