Girls: If you are a feminist, do you admit this to your date?

If yes, why?
If no, why? ( most interested in reasons for "no" :D )

Reference question to see guys' opinion on the issue:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1121928-is-a-woman-who-identifies-as-a-feminist-a-turn-off-or-a-turn-on

  • Yes
    65% (17)0% (0)33% (17)Vote
  • no
    27% (7)0% (0)14% (7)Vote
  • I am guy who wants to see results.
    8% (2)100% (25)53% (27)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Feminists are typically women who hate men. I don't want to be around them because they hate me for being male. I would not date a feminist.

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    • Yeah but we would not date you either. What are you trying to prove here?

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    • Couldn't you come up with something better? I just told you the exact same thing. We don't give a fuck about you.

    • @YouAholic and I don't give a fuck you all either... manhaters!!

What Girls Said 19

  • Do I introduce myself and say, "Hi, I'm Alex. I'm a feminist!" No. Do I sit down with a check list on the fair treatment of women? No.

    Might it casually come up in conversation? Yes. I'm not ashamed of my beliefs. If he asks I'll own up to it. Mostly though I just offer to split the bill or pay the whole thing but if he insists then he's more than welcome to pay for it.

    My boyfriend knows I'm a feminist. He knew before we started to date. We had that conversation about how we want to be treated in a relationship. That was then I told him how I expected my boyfriend to treat me and he was like, "Sounds kind of like you have feminist ideals." And I was like, "You could say I identify as a feminist." And his response? "More power to you! Glad there'll be equal effort put forth in this relationship. Does that mean you get to take ME out to dinner sometimes?" <- We can see the importance of food to my boyfriend in that last statement lol.

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    • haha that's pretty awesome.

    • Yes, it is. He's a fantastic guy. And yes, I do treat him to dinner about 50% of the time. And not just Taco Bell, either ;) Except he loves TB so sometimes it's Taco Bell lol.

  • I don't think it would cone up in regular conversation. And I think most people have negative feelings towards the word. First thing that cones to most peoples minds is 'femnazi' 'man hating bitch' and stuff like that. People tend to think feminism is about women taking over or being more powerful than men or just taking the power from men.

    Feminism is about equality. Sexism affects both genders. If a guy happens to not like sports or is skinny he's called a pussy or gay or just 'less manly. And for girls we're constantly being portrayed as sexual objects, and that's desired, but in real life these girl get called sluts or bithces.
    In a feminist world people could be free to like/wear whatever colors they want (pink, blue...), dress however they want, and act and enjoy whatever they want without fear of being shunned for it or being called a 'faggot' or 'butch' or 'bitch' 'slut' or 'pussy'.

    If the guy brought it up and was not a feminist I would most certainly defend it, because he probably has no idea what it really is.

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    • So that's a vote for "yes" then.
      I'd like to explain you how we are all seen as sexual objects but... you know... feminism and logic don't mix well.. so...

    • Okie dokie then

  • Geez, there's nothing wrong with being a feminist. I probably wouldn't date a guy if he was opposed to feminism. Feminism is the desire for fair, respectful, and equal treatment of women specifically, but really all people, genders, and sexual orientations.
    If a guy isn't into that, then that's typically a bad sign.

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    • Yeah about that...

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    • Alright, well I think someone is being childish here, and it's not me.
      Honestly though, it wouldn't hurt you to be a little open-minded and try to see and understand another side if things, even if you don't agree with any of it.

    • I have had 30 years to "see and understand" the other side.
      Trust me! Quite close and personal even.

      Thank you for your comment.

  • I don't know why it would be anything to "admit"? It's like "admitting" you're an atheist, lol. Just sounds plain stupid imo.
    Anyway. Yes, I would mention that I'm a feminist if it naturally came up in a conversation. No, I wouldn't be all up in his face like "I'M A FEMINIST WHATCHU GON' DO ABOUT IT SON?" because that's awkward. And no, fyi, I don't hate men. If I hated men as a whole, I wouldn't even want to date them in the first place.

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  • I'm not a feminist, but i would let him know if i was. Its not ever good to hide things your passionate about.

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  • If I were, I'd say so. I'm not one though, I just deal with gender inequalities as I go along.

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  • @Terrell456 hating men is not feminism

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    • Sure is not.

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    • Feminists I've seen are the ones who demean men and think they're superior over men. Once a woman admits this to me, I have no intentions of seeing her again.

    • But that would apply to any person or organization that demeans anyone or thinks they are superior over anyone, right.

      And just because the feminists you've seen are like that doesn't mean all feminists are like that.

      Most men and women don't intend to see a person again that demeans them or something they believe in. Unless maybe the person is into a sub/dom relationship.

  • I wouldn't call myself a feminist, I belive in gender equality and to be honest these days that's not really what feminism stands for. A lot of women get involved in it for a way to let out their rage against men and doing that have given feminism a bad name. But anywayyyyy I don't see it to be relevant for me to randomly tell my date I'm a feminist so no I wouldn't if he asked id say what I just told you but I don't see why he'd ask..

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  • It would be something I would work into a conversation. If he had a problem with it then at least I'd know not to pursue the potential relationship any further.

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  • I don't see why not. If it works out he will learn anyway

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  • I do believe everyone is equal regardless of gender, I don't start the conversation that way if he it comes up I will tell him the truth

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  • If the subject came up, sure, it's something to be proud of not ashamed.

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  • If the topic happens to come up, then sure.

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  • I say yes, because I want the guy to know me, for me, and what I believe in!! I don't want to be judged as well! If he doesn't accept it, then he's not the guy for me. I don't think any feminist should have to change her beliefs for anybody!!

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    • Totally agree!
      Wouldn't want the poor guy get stuck with a man hater. Best warn him in advance :)

  • The asker: seems like you already made up your mind. You believe feminist hate men. Lol

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    • Yes ma'am. Enough evidence to support that claim.

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    • This whole question is about US/EU feminists.
      Feminism is not needed here.

      Feminism *IS* needed in Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia.. oh boy is it needed in Saudi Arabia.

    • India, yemen.. africa...

      Seriously whats people and Saudi Arabia? Leave them alone, its their so called "laws" obviously if women can't drive then she can't.

  • Why is it "admit", it's not a crime!

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  • If the question came up. Feminism is not something that has ever effected my daily life tho

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  • Yes and it's not problem for me because i always date nice guys:D

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  • Sure why not? Nothing to be ashame off. My partner knows it , he loves me anyways. :)

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What Guys Said 8

  • Are we talking female supremesist man-hating nut job? (If so why is she on a date anyway?)
    Because otherwise I don't see what needs to be confessed.

    Contrary to their media presence most femenists are just women who have issues with the 'glass ceiling' even if it is far less of an issue these days.

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    • Women now outearn men in silimar job conditions between the ages 20-35.
      At least in the USA and EU.

      What 'glass ceiling' ?

      And yes i am talking about 'western" feminism, you know, the one that tackles "important" issues such as "being asked for coffee in an elevator" = rape and worse than sharia law.

    • Well yes I think those sort of crazies should come with warning stickers, but I have never met one who wasn't either an internet celebrity who makes fat cash from being a self entitled bitch, or bordering on insane in so many other ways it was obvious.

  • I'd tell a woman I'm a feminist if it came up but not on the first date probably lol

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  • Most out spoken feminists I speak to get all defensive as soon as I even mention real problems men have. I mean, if feminism is truly about equality, then why is it so hard to understand that men do have issues in life that need addressing?

    If so many people, women and men, see feminism as "man-hating" then there must be something wrong with it?

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  • People assume feminism is a crazy movement but those are extremists

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  • Can I just ask why this topic of conversation would come up on a date?

    I don't know about anyone else, but I am not really interested in discussing Politics, Religion or anything of that ilk on a date or any other time for that matter.

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    • Plenty of guys think it should - some even expressed a specific desire to know in advance - so they can bail.

    • Oh believe me I'll soon find out if the girl I'm dating has a problem with men. Her putrid bile will spew out like an exploding psycho midget in Borderlands 2.

  • ok Batou-san , what gives?
    Is your girl a feminist?

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    • No, but i am seeing this girl who "might" be one according to some friends. And i want to take the community's "pulse", you know? :D

  • Just thought I'd add I don't date feminists. I'm actually pretty up front about this to women too. Plenty of them are okay with this, also.

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    • Nice tactic. I should make a habit of saying this upfront too.

    • It weeds out a good bit of the trash. You'll get some hateful responses, I don't recommend trying it in a restaurant or anywhere public though. Feminists like to cause a scene. :P

    • Yeah but i think a public place will not cause me to be accused of rape. Feminists love that.

  • It would probably be the last date.

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