Why do guys not approach me or give the time to know me?

I've never had a serious boyfriend and I'm 16. I am not fat nor skinny, just a regular size I guess. Not to be conceded but my friends (girls and guys) always tell me I'm really pretty and have a good personality. No guys really talk to me except the ones I know. Some will talk, text, or snapchat me but will quit replying within a few days. When I tell people this they are shocked that no one likes me. My friends are showered with boys. They have all the attention in the world. When they have a breakup, there always is another one there for them. I'm not active sexually because I've never had anyone but I feel like this is the reason. All of my friends are, so I feel like this is why all of the guys like them. Most people say that me and my 3 best girl friends look similar. I just don't understand why no guys will show interest in me. I've talked to my sister about it and she says that she thinks guys are intimidated my me because of my looks. I don't agree with this because they have nothing to be intimidated by. I'm nothing special. I just really want someone to be there for me and that I can spend time with. It's hard for me and I feel different because everyone I know has this and they don't have to worry like I do. But once I start to like a guy and thinks he likes me, my 2 friends immediately go to him, even though one is in a relationship and the other just had a breakup. I don't think they do this intentionally because I'm not sure if they know I like him. Do guys not like me/ talk to me or give me the time of day because I don't put out (sexually) ? I don't want to be known as one that is promiscuous. Tell me the truth please. I've been needing it and no one can help me. I just want to know what I'm doing wrong or what I need to do that is right.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ask your friends to try hook you up with someone if you think they're reliable enough. If that's out of the question, just try and meet new people if things aren't working out with the people that you know already. Who knows, maybe some people are showing interest and you're just not noticing the signs - I personally moved on from a girl if she didn't seem to be responding to signs I left. I say this in past tense because I generally say it to them or imply it to them through something I say.

    I concur with UniqueDude, something will eventually happen if you ask out the guy before your friends get the chance to move in. Alternatively, you could always tell these friends that you're interested in the guy so they know not to go for him.

    I'll be honest, you not being sexually active could be a factor in this. Whether it's a major or a minor one depends on how you guys do things over there - in Dublin, Ireland where I live it's hard to find people that aren't sexually active by 16 and the ones that aren't tend not to do much fast (which they shouldn't unless they're ready for it) so while some guys won't be deterred by this, other guys will end up going for another girl that is sexually active because not only will she most likely put out, but also she'll be more experienced and that can make a big difference. You can call them shallow, immature or "players" but we're teenage guys, anyone who expects us not to try and satisfy our sexual urges is asking for a lot. But I suppose it's probably different where you're from. Anyway, I'm not saying fucking the first guy that shows mutual interest in you, but just bear this in mind.

    Also, if you do decide to put out to someone, just remember that you can't be considered as promiscuous if you only put out to a couple of people. People with names tend to have gotten around to quite a few people before gaining their reputation.

    I hope this is helpful.

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What Guys Said 4

  • At the risk of giving advice, you're looking at the wrong variable.

    You don't need to think about why they're not chasing you. Think about what you want out of life. No matter what it is, go make it happen. If it's a car, an outfit, some activity etc, go make it happen. If that includes a guy you know, go make it happen too.

    Guys can be stupid as hell (I know this from my own past) when it comes to recognizing a girl that's interested in them, and they can be shy too, because they're as afraid of rejection as you are. That's why you'll be happiest if you take charge of what happens in your life. Own that shit.

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  • Well as a guy who never had any attention from girls in high school, I understand the feeling. Your sister probably IS right about guys being intimidated to approach you, that's what my number one problem was, fearing that the girl wouldn't like me or find me weird/awkward. Also, your personality may be an issue if you are overly hyper that can be annoying, or if you look frowny faced or grumpy a lot then that can be a turn off too. If you see a guy you like, initiate conversation with him, dont wait for him to come talk to you. If you like a guy and he seems to enjoy talking to you then ask HIM out, it doesn't always have to be a guy asking out a girl.

    Also, don't put out just for the sake of hoping that will make you popular with the guys. Personally I am waiting till marriage (which is REALLY hard and frustrating btw) but I'm doing it for religious reasons. If you won't want to subscribe to that practice though, then only give it to a guy you are truly in love with, and make sure he seems to really care about you too, not just a guy trying to get some.

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  • Do you smile? Or are you serious and scary. Sometimes hot girls who are too serious scare guys off. Try to smile and make eye contact with the next guy you like. Don't get me wrong, you shouldn't be too easy or desperate cause thats a turn off, be a lady and you'll find your first. Be patient your only 16.

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  • I wouldn't even date u if u were sexually active and seems so easy >.>
    I pnly date those who have self respect for themself and not fawk around with too many guys >.>

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What Girls Said 1

  • I do not think that it is such a strange thing that you haven't met anyone more seriously because you are still young and that is not what guys that age are really looking for. I did not go on a serious date until I got into college and began working. So all throughout high school I was single and not sexually active either. The boyfriend that I have now was actually my best friend in high school. Right now I would say to focus on making your friendships strong and not worry about the boys, they will come around. Oh and it is not because you don't put out, I haven't had sex and we have dated for almost 5 months now. Save yourself for someone that values you as much as you value yourself, it is the best feeling, no matter if it took longer than other people.

    by the way there is no way that guys are not interested in you, I am sure that you look beautiful and its even better because you are humble about it, the guy who cares for you and isn't distracted by your friends is the keeper. You will know it when you see it and it'll be sooner than you think

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