So my boyfriend and I broke up and now obviously, he's my ex. But after over 2 months of being broken up, he's realizing he still has feelings for me and so do I. We still have sparks. We've ended up making out twice in the past 2 weeks. We broke up because of communication, but now our communication has soared. We have great talks about how we're feeling about things, life, each other, etc.
I'm pretty sure the percentage is high that we'll end up back together, but I think it could go almost either way right now. I'm really in love with him, but he's dealing with a lot of stuff right now, and says he needs time to figure out a direction to go in with his life, what he wants, and just time to figure things out. He said he misses me a lot, and can't get me out of his head sometimes. He says I'm the sweetest thing to ever come into his life. He mentioned that he wants to try again, but he just doesn't know when he'll be ready. He said he doesn't expect me to wait for him but I can wait a while. I can wait for him to figure his thing out, but I won't wait forever.
My only question is, how can I reel him back in, peek interest and intrigue, after he already knows pretty much everything about me? We were less than 2 weeks away from our 2 year anniversary when he broke up with me. We know one another better than anyone else in our lives, so I don't really have the mysterious factor going on so great anymore.
I want him to pursue me, I don't want to do all the pursuing and be the guy in the relationship. How can I get him to pursue me more than he already is? I want to make him crazy about me like he was when we first started going out. I want him to call me all the time like he used to, text me, ask me to hang out and have HIM suggest plans instead of me coming up with things.
We aren't technically together, but I want to head that way. I think we're in a weird "friends dating slow" kind of mode...we both know we have feelings and we both are strongly attracted to one another...but its like this waiting period to see if its a good idea.
Can you all help me out? I'm open to all ideas and suggestions!
Most Helpful Girl
First, give him all the time and space he needs. Since you haven't got mystery, you need all the cool and chillax vibe you can get. A guy is going to be more attracted you if he feels like your relaxed and easy going and not in a hurry.
Second, don't rush this. Don't push, don't shove, and don't start the make-out sessions. If you stop making the first move, and he stops following you, that could be a good sign that he's just along for the ride. If he keeps pressing forward, go ahead, have fun.. but if you want him back, you've got follow his lead, and at most, keep it mutual.
Third, smile. It doesn't hurt to talk about all the great things that happened when you were together, either. Smile, be light-hearted, and be the kind of girl who spreads around the good. Being up-beat will make him feel like he can come to you when he's stressed out.
Forth, be the destresser in his life. Don't make him pull out all his emotional baggage, but let him come to you with it. If he looks troubled, ask him to talk once... if he says no remind him just ONCE that you're always going to be willing to listen and then change topic right away. Ramble off a stupid joke, or talk about shoe strings, whatever, but don't be the person who is ragging on him to talk about his problems, it won't help you get back into his date book.
I know this doesn't seem like anything that's going to help you get him back anytime soon.. but if you honestly take this to heart, and give him the time he needs, you're relationship should be back on its way to a speedy recovery.1