Guys and phone locks?

My guy of 4 years started putting a phone lock on his phone about 2 years ago. He absolutely will not let me get on his phone for any reason whatsoever. I'm certain if I had to call 911 he would not let me use his phone. I've been with other guys who have phone locks too. I'm so sick of this. He obviously has something to hide. I have no phone lock and I let him go all through my phone whenever he pleases. Should I ditch this 4, almost 5 year old relationship? Just because of a damn phone lock?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't cheat, and I don't care if my girl goes through my phone. I believe those two things are related. I think the men and women that whine about privacy on their phone, almost always have something to hide. Clearly he has something to hide, and clearly you don't trust him. Your relationship is already doomed. I say ditch him, and find a guy that isn't going to sneak around behind your back.

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    • You can try to hack is phone, by finger printing the screen. I don't know how well that actually works, but some people claim you can do it. If successful you will have your answer once and for all. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDVjoJE_eHU

What Guys Said 7

  • I have a phone lock and it isn't because
    I have shit to hide.. it's so I can have privacy in some areas of my life. I don't think people in relationships should be searching each other's mail and phone records. What kind of relationship would it be if there was no freedom or trust? If my girlfriend asked to see something I wouldn't say no but I think he's a hypocrite if he looks through your phone.

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  • I'm married and don't have a phone lock. Why would I?

    Someone I know however, was with his gf for about 4 years, and then suddenly started using a phone lock, for the following two years. SO they're in a 6 year long relationship by now, and eventually they break up. Why? Because he's been cheating on her with another girl, for two years. She's now 30 and was hoping for marriage and children with this guy, and now she has to start all again with someone else, and is paranoid about her body clock ticking etc. Horrible situation for her.

    Have it out with him. Just in case it's a similar situation to the one I just described. Get to the bottom of it, because although it may seem like a waste, what's a bigger waste? Finding out in a few years he's been cheating on you?

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    • Also, just to add, the people making comments about having access to his phone isn't right due to privacy have (in my opinion) completely missed the point here. You had access for ages, then it changed. It's not about access to his phone, its about the change in his behaviour and the fact that the change itself is extremely suspicious. Ask him outright if he has anything to hide from you on his phone. Then when he says "No I don't." Tell him to prove it. Tell him to unlock it and hand it to you. The only thing with this approach by the way is it's a one time thing. He'll likely say "No." Then he'll go away and delete all evidence of misbehaviour. Then you'll ask him again and he'll happily hand it to you. Which of course proves nothing. So make sure that he understands that you know he may do that to cover his own back. Make sure he understands he has one chance to genuinely prove he's innocent of anything.
      Good luck x

  • Yes, if he needs to lock his phone that's so immature
    get rid of him you deserve better and you been all
    them years with him yea that sucks big time

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  • I do not lock my phone.
    Anybody that is that protective has something to hide.

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  • meeen I forgot to put a lock in my phone, "uses phone lock on weird Girl.. it's very effective". thanks for giving me advice lol

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  • I dont think you should ditch him if its lasted this long, just tell him hey i dont have one why should you? He shouldnt have anything to hide and if so he should tell you because you have been dating so long

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  • I have phone lock , why because I have txts / numbers I don't want to be seen by others. It's there for incase my phone gets stolen too. Like your man i won't let me girl near my phone im hiding things from her. he's hiding sumthn from u

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What Girls Said 6

  • Personally, I have a phone lock and I always have, mainly because I appreciate my privacy and don't like people in college going through my phone. If my boyfriend wants to go on my phone, I give him my pin lock. I have a password for my laptop which I don't allow him to go on purely because I want my own privacy, I'm not cheating or anything. No-one's allowed on my laptop; it's my little space :P
    My boyfriend doesn't have a phone lock but he's always shady with his phone and it turns out he's been lying to me about another girl and has been inappropriate with her. So you can't immediately assume the worst.

    You need to tell him how you feel and that you'd prefer it if he'd be honest with you. If he's been upto no good for two years, he may break down and tell you due to the guilt. You should prepare yourself for the worst.

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  • ... I lock my phone and I've never cheated on any of my past boyfriends. I do it for the same reason that I lock my apartment when I leave for the day: because I don't want people searching through and violating my shit while I'm not there.

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  • My SO isn't he same, we've been together a long time too. He doesn't even like me touching his phone, so suspicious. I haven't really tried to snoop, I don't wanna be that person, but he is sooooo shady... I don't even care if it's p*rno he's hiding, just wish he'd stop being so secretive.

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    • As usual, what people want is honesty more than anything. The actual behaviour itself is often not what bothers people, it's whether they're being lied or or not.

    • that's exactly it, he's perfectly entitled to have his own phone and look at whatever the hell he wants, but it's the way he snatches it from me and will never let it out of his sight is the thing causing suspicion.

    • and when he snatches it I've literally just picked it up to move it or something, I'm not snooping through it.

  • I dunno, I feel like just because you're in a relationship doesn't give you the right to access each other's phones or social media accounts. He still has the right to his privacy.

    That being said, it's pretty suspicious that this was a sudden change, and he doesn't let you use his phone for anything, whatsoever. But nagging him won't convince him to let you look at it either, and just ending the relationship seems pretty drastic, since you don't even know if he's actually cheating. I'd just be aware and alert, but don't jump to conclusions just yet.

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  • Yeah... I'd dump him.

    It's not that you have a right to snoop through his phone, that's an invasion of privacy, but it's that he feels the need to protect whatever is on it from you that's the issue.

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  • 5 years? And You have no access to his phone? Dump him!!!

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