How often do men actually ask you out, on average?

Apparently I read that many guys aren't asking girls out these days. Either they just don't have the balls or only want a hookup...

Anyway, so girls, how often do guys actually confess their feelings to you and/or ask you out?

  • Almost Never
    49% (207)57% (104)51% (311)Vote
  • Rarely/Occasionally
    20% (85)14% (25)18% (110)Vote
  • Sometimes
    17% (72)12% (22)15% (94)Vote
  • Often
    10% (41)4% (8)8% (49)Vote
  • Consistently
    4% (20)13% (25)8% (45)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Like never, considering that only one guy thus far has actually asked me out.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • So many beautiful woman replying with like answers, and looking at the results and reading the comments of everyone sharing... I am surprised!! Being an older person on this site compared to most, I have experience the opposite when talking to woman closer to my age, which got me thinking why this is? When I was in my early 20's I never had a problem asking woman out. Which is probably why I had such great success with woman (Attractive woman) ... because... No-one else was asking them out!! I would love to hear from woman closer to my age on this site, as for the woman I know would say the opposite of what most of the woman here are saying... So this is what/why I think that is. Young men are scared of rejection or think a woman is out of their league so they don't ask. Older men have found their self confidence, understand woman more and aren't worried so much about rejection anymore. Thinking back when I was younger, I never had other guys hitting on any of my girlfriends, flirt yes, but never ask them out. But now that I'm older, it feels like I have every Tom, Dick and Harry hitting on whomever I'm with, even if the guy knows they are taken.
    Side note to all the woman here: wait a few years and you'll be singing a different tune. Lol
    And side note to the guys... this is your time to shine... don't be shy. Find your dream girl.

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What Girls Said 160

  • Like never and it's disappointing and makes us feel bad at times all because he's scared or shy... we like it if guys flatter us... But almost never will guys do it anymore

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  • In the past 12 months, I've been asked by guys to spend time with them outside of normal settings 3 times.
    But none of them were straight asking out, or professing of feelings. So I don't know if that makes it zero.
    The three circumstances were a work friend who invited me to accompany him multiple times to his friend's house parties, which I did not attend, as I suspected it was just an opportunity to hook up, or he just wanted to get drunk/high with me, both of which I don't do.
    The second time was a male friend who invited me in a Facebook message to have coffee with him. I don't know if it was intended to be a date or not. I didn't go to that either, as I actually didn't check Facebook in time, and he didn't ask me again after that. I didn't feel like I knew him very well.
    The third, was a guy I know who is in a relationship, he keeps sending messages to me all the time, and keeps asking me to meet up with him. I never have, and never plan to. I would never do that, and I tell him that he needs to respect his relationship and present girlfriend. I don't think he's a particularly faithful guy, unfortunately.
    Actually, there is a 4th, too, a guy I've known for a decade, who also continually messages me on Facebook, asking me how I am, and if I want to "hang out", however I never respond, as he sexually assaulted me when I was 19, and he was 29.
    I haven't taken any if these men up on their offers.
    I'd really like to have a man get to know me slowly, and ask me out in person, and be clear about his intentions.
    However that doesn't seem to exist anymore...

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  • never. the occasional hobo will grunt at me. i suppose that's something.

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  • I've been asked out once in my lifetime, and in a fashion so comedic I couldn't take the guy seriously.

    Random guy on the train station: Ummmm... hi... um... What's your name?
    Me: Slava, do I know you?
    R: Ummm... no...
    M: OK then *browsing the net on my phone*
    R: Ummm... are you drunk?
    M: Nope.
    R: So... ummm... Wanna go grab a beer with me, then?

    It took all the willpower I had in me not snort right back at him.

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  • Well, if I'm anywhere that serves alcohol it's quite often lol. I think overall I'd go with "sometimes". It's also kinda up to me. I've noticed that... if I'm out and around, smiling and being friendly, it's a lot more likely to happen. When I'm keeping to myself, not so much. Which makes sense of course.

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  • I get harrassed a lot, but a guy actually asking for a date like a human being isn't that common. Usually just a proposition to "chill" or have sex in a crude obnoxious way. It seems like guys with tact keep to themselves while the guys who fling their feces about are the most obnoxious and loud.

    I'm taken currently and I'm a non monogamus person,.

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  • I can count the number of times I've been asked out on one hand. And they were all way back in the day (9th grade). I assume I must have lost my touch. :p

    Or it could be the fact that I manage to bring up the boyfriend up after meeting people within the first 5 minutes.

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  • Honestly, I think guys are losing there balls.
    I, and a lot of other chicks I know have noticed.
    They're immature! Like, a guy will honk his horn at my friends and I or they'll walk right past us and wait until they're farther off to say someone like little children. It makes me want to punch them in the face. If you could walk up to me and say that instead of running away and saying it, props! But, really? It's not attractive.

    Or a guy will stare at you or even smile at you but won't say a thing and we chicks are just sitting here wondering why. Be a man and make the first move. It's not that we can't (Well most) It's that we don't want to and we're not going to. I want nothing to do with a guy who doesn't have the balls to walk up to me and flirt/talk no matter how cute he is, which is why I'll refuse to walk up to them.

    Unless I'VE been looking at said guy and want to make the first move and at that point he most likely hasn't noticed me yet or hasn't been looking at me, thats okay! Thats different. THEN it's my job.

    If you're showing signs of interest and won't walk up and talk or are waiting for me to, then you've lost your chance.

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    • The problem is that I never get any signs of interest from girls to approach (like smiling). See if I did, I would in a heartbeat.

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    • Perfectly said Marawrr. I agree on every point. What you said is exactly what I tell guys. It may be 2014, but as a general rule, as a guy, you have got to be willing to make the first move. Don't just stare at them again and again with no intention of going up to them especially after you've been greenlit. Then they'll just be wondering what's wrong with you (or them), and just for the record, guys do ask out girls. Just have to get over rejection cause it's going to happen.

    • guys are not. losing. their. ball's women have lost their. luster

  • wow great feedback on this one, well done.

    i almost never get asked out. i get complimented or looked at but thats bout it. i dont mind tho.

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  • Depends on the scene.

    I get hit on at work, but not asked out.

    If I'm out in the town doing shopping or something, I sometimes get the odd fella walking up.

    And obviously when I'm in a pub or night club, it's non stop.

    But considering that I don't go partying, it's quite rare. I tend to ask guy's out myself, because I'm into the nerdy types abd they tend to be too shy to make the first move.

    Don't have to worry about that now, though, since I've been in a relationship for a couple of years.

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  • my current boyfriend confessed his feelings to me and i told him how i felt and he asked me out and i said yes. there's is one boy who won't leave me alone, saying im amazing and blah blah... obviously its nice of him but im taken and he only wants sex... there's this other boy who will act like a complete jerk to me but say he fancys me and says he so jealous of my boyfriend. there's this other boy, who keeps asking me out, untill i got with my boyfriend. and then there's this boy who asked out like so many people.. including me.. he was desperate.. and yeah so onn. It depends really. depends on how the boy is. and what he really wants. I've just came across some up front boys in my time haha.

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  • Yea, if anything I rather them just ask me out instead of always wanting my number and barely texting back. Like I want sumn like on tv. We have coffee shops on campus. Just ask me if I wanna go get a cup of coffee or sumn so we can get to know each other. If everything goes well, then I'll feel more comfortable about giving my number or something. Who knows? If it goes well enough, a second date could happen on campus, perhaps a picnic at the lake. But yea, I get asked out maybe once every couple of months. Other than that, every other day you hear "Aye girl lemme get yo number" like "boy boom, ion know you like that, prob just another horny stalker or sumn" SMDH.

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  • I've been asked out loads of times online. Two out of three of my boyfriends asked me out. I've had a couple confess their feelings for me. Nothing too major. I'm usually in relationships so guys don't ask me out. If I was single, it'd probably happen more.

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  • On average, every 3 or 4 months if the guy wants to pursue a relationship with me. Dating is more common, usually 1 or 2 guys every month or two. It is hard for me to really like a guy and want to be in a relationship with them, I have grown to be picky but I do not complain to anyone.

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  • I've been asked out by a guy, though I have been followed, and I am constantly whistled and stared at. lol.

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  • Well considering I'm a minor... I don't even know where I'm headed with this. Consistently.
    They just don't care I'm under age.

    As for boys sometimes. I get hit on much more than asked out with guys round my age, but every now and again a few guys actually ask me out.

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  • Rarely. I don't even interact with many people, though, lol. Guys do hit on me, walk me to class sometimes, or flirt, but I almost never get asked out.

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    • What's the difference between getting hit on and gettinf asked out?

    • Show All
    • @QA flirt but didn't actually ask the girl out

    • Oh okay.

  • I don't get asked out. What I get is hit on/harassed and a loser that want to try and date me but has no chance at getting me.

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  • I've never been asked out, never had a boyfriend, never been on a date. what a sad 17 years of life haha
    although technically I am in a long distance relationship.. but that just kind of happened. No one asked out anyone. it just built up to what it now is :)

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  • wow, looking at how many cute girls on GAG who have put up their pictures, I thought most girls would vote C or even D... I wonder why the majority answers "almost never"...

    I also voted "almost never". I get asked out probably about once a year, maybe even less than that. But I'm not someone you'd call pretty, so I guess that's to be expected.

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  • I picked often, before I settled with my partner and had a child, I used to get asked out/shown interest in nearly every time I went out - and I hated it. So now I'm glad that I'm more of a mumsy figure in mens eyes!

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  • Now mostly never. Like maybe 2 or 3 times this year? My other friend gets asked out all the time.
    I wondered why, but then I remembered the immortal words of Patrick Star:
    "Maybe it's 'cause you're ugly."
    Harsh joke, but true ;_;

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  • Almost never. I'm a bit of a homebody, straight to university then back home again. On the rare occasions that I do go out, guys never approach me directly; they always seem to get my friends to ask me out for them. Maybe I look like a bitch? I dunno.

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    • Wow, that's really wimpy.

    • Yup, that's what I think. If they can't even ask me straight up, they can't expect me to actually say yes.

  • Depends on how often I'm out and about but on average, on an actual date, maybe 3x a year. It's mostly just asking for phone number (or getting phone number from mutual friend if he has zero valor/balls) then asking to "hang out." So disappointing. Just say, "you're pretty, I want to take you out."

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    • "Just say, "you're pretty, I want to take you out."" -

      If only it were that easy. That kind of line has never worked for me or any guy I have ever known. Maybe for a super good looking guy, but the rest of us have to play the game. It's been my experience that pretty (attractive) girls know that they are and don't need to be told. It's so obvious and unoriginal that employing such tactics comes off as cliche and pathetic.

    • I don't know any girl who doesn't like to be told she's pretty. If a girl doesn't hear it enough she starts to think that it's not true. Bam. Fact.

  • Well before my boyfriend it was 1-3 a year. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half so most people I am around at school know so even if they wanted to they wouldn't bother. I don't really go out much so anyone who doesn't know me doesn't really have a chance to. Not that I mind as I am more than happy with my boyfriend. Even so my guy friends often complement me.

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  • Zero
    Zilch
    Nada
    Never been asked out/approached

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  • Occasionally, like every few months some guy will do a cold approach. I appreciate the confidence it takes to ask someone out, but I'm in a relationship so they get turned down.

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  • It's consistent.. I think a lot of times my friendliness is mistaken, or though wishful thinking.. that I'm interested in them.. Even though I always mention I'm in a relationship right off the bat.

    It's whatever.. I'm never rude or hurt anyone's feelings when I decline dates & hanging out with them. I simply remind them that I'm in a committed relationship & end the subject.

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  • Guys are wimps... they are all for asking one out on a date and all and get all lovey dovey on the first Damm date!!! The ones who are serious about the relationship are also very Thirsty. ... and the others that try to be fly and ask me out act like they all good and what not and get surprised that I a far from all other woman SO THEy FEEL INTIMIDATED and change from a thug lol to a dork carrying ones purse on a coffee date hahaha... men

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  • This summer, has been a lot.

    I think it's because I'm pretty much always out with girls only this summer.

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What Guys Said 48

  • If you want a guy to ask you out, when we look at you gives us a sign of some-sort, a smile, a wink, something to work with. Don't just look away, or if you do smile when doing so. Throw a dog a bone.

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  • I think when girls say they don't get asked out. It means they don't get asked out by guys they want. Guys that they don't want to go on a date with don't count.

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    • I don't think so mate. Look at their opinions mentioning guys they weren't interested in asking them out and counting them.

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    • Nah I've only been asked out by a few guys and I've never actually gone out with them but they still count

    • It's good that you count them. However, just because you count them doesn't mean other girls do the same.

  • I am genuinely shocked by all the answers by females. Holy shit... and here guys are told that a woman always has options etc. and if you don't move fast you'll be forgotten and she'll go on to the next option because why bother waiting for you - hence the whole PUA culture exists about how you need to ask her out almost immediately, make moves almost immediately, etc.

    ... and still shocked. Going to have to get a drink now just to handle this information.

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    • I slept easy on this even had a sip of chocolate milk cause this is really surprising

  • This is very surprising, I thought all girls including not so good looking ones were asked out on regular basis.

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  • I don't ask girls out for a few reasons. Just reading some of the responses, you can probably see why. It is usually awkward, which makes the anxiety in me worse. Plus, many girls will completely make fun of guys that ask them out, especially ugly guys. Or they will get offended for some reason. Too many risks imo.

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  • I'm shocked at the results

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  • Hahahahahaha. I like this question. The answers are funny considering the standards of these girls.

    Anyway, as a guy I've only been asked out (kind of) by one girl. The rest if they really showed interest would do silly stuff, but never just ask.

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  • I don't generally ask women out because of few reasons

    1. almost every girl I've asked out has rejected me because they were into one of my friends
    2. the ones that have said yes (with one exception) have admitted they only said yes to get closer to my friends.
    3. the relationships i have been in (3 serious relationships, 2 casual relationship) were all sooo... idk, clingy? like i couldnt just have my own day, whenever i had free time I HAD to spend it with them. sooo yeah lol.
    4. The one relationship where I was engaged, she ended up cheating on me with one of my friends and got an abortion. that one really did take a lot out of me

    now if I see an attractive girl or meet an awesome or fun one and I have a friend that finds her attractive, I'll just encourage my friends to ask them out. my friends have never been rejected from these women I've found attractive that i encouraged them to ask out.

    so now i just mostly work on myself, and trust my happiness as my guide. for the most part im fine being by myself, its quiet and i dont really have to do anything i dont want to, but parts of me do wonder what it would be like to have a serious and meaningful relationship where she was just your down to earth gal that wasn't a complete bitch.

    i don't know lol. I don't think im fugly or anything, i just think my friends are just more attractive than me in women's eyes. which i dont have a problem with, im not bitter towards women as a whole, i just dont generally trust them with my heart/feelings anymore.

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  • Women reject more casually these days because they don't need men like they used to. They still expect (on average) for men to play by the same rules as if they did need men though. Most women can't even handle some jerk calling them fat without crying and yo-yo dieting, yet men too are made of flesh and blood. Try living your whole life only ever being asked out once or twice and being rejected immediately most of the time and then mostly rejected soon after innitial acceptance. Imagine trying to pull yourself up emotionally from a lifetime of that to have the 'balls' as you put it, to ask out another probable rejector.

    Don't you think that after long enough the loneliness would either turn you bitter so that you'd treat women as sex objects, or make you hopeless so that you give up trying?

    Of course if men have feelings the usual response from women is that they should 'man up' or 'stop feeling sorry for themselves'. Men aren't in touch with their feelings because when they try, they get hurt. It's not okay for a man to cry.

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  • Before I dare ask a girl out, I usually wait until I see indicators that show she digs me.

    -If she frequently gets my attention by saying, "Hi ______ hows it going?" before I even notice her, then I'll be more likely to ask her out.
    -If she smiles in my presence and gives me inviting looks, I'm more likely to ask her out.
    -If she has open body language, listens, and remembers what I say, I'm more likely to ask her out.

    Otherwise without these cues, the risk is too great to be rejected.

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    • Man, you are doing yourself a great disservice. By not asking her out, you practically have 0 chance. Even if you think there's no interest, you should ask her out because a 1% chance is better than 0% and there have been situations where the girl was just playing really hard to get but said "yes" once he asked her out.

      Always better to ask. Always.

      I don't know. Unless it's a long-term crush, I feel practically nothing after getting turned down. I just think of it as one step closer to success and think, "Next..."

      Even if it's a long-term crush, and as a result you may feel a little hurt after getting turned down, you should still do it so at least you can move on without any "what if thoughts", even if she seems disinterested.

      I always feel better and in fact more confident when I ask that girl out even if I get turned down, than going home not doing it. Wimping out is what hurts my confidence, not getting turned down.

    • Because I have faith one will eventually say "yes".

      I know that I just need to ask more girls out until one does.

    • I think you misunderstood me.
      I'm implying that if a girl gives lots of open body language around you, she's more likely to accept your offers.

      When it comes to asking out a girl, timing is everything. If you ask her out when she's clearly in a bad mood or is preoccupied with something else, you're not likely to get a positive response.

      You do bring up good points. I agree with you entirely that being rejected isn't the worst thing ever. Even if she says no, a the feeling of missing your chance to even try to ask her out hurts much worse.

  • speaking as a man I'll maybe ask a girl out every other month maybe I don't really. did myself out there these days but if we are on the metro and having a good conversation I'll ask for her number

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  • As everyone else, I'm a little surprised at the result. Then again, I almost never approach either.

    But questions for the ladies that almost never get approached. How did you get with your boyfriends? Or are you eternal singles because of it?

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    • I've only had one BF... my current one that I've had since the age of 28... he didn't ask me out directly... he got close with my friend group from school and started hanging out with us... and he got my close friend to convince me to go out with him... he later confessed that he used my friends just to get closer to me.

  • yeah Ill be honest, its a lot simpler, and cheaper (I'm broke man) to just go for hookups. Dates are no guarantee for that, and that's basically the point of the date. I only ask girls out that I would be willing to be in a relationship with.

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  • I'm actually quite offended don't ask me out I know I'm tremendously straight but still

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  • Most of the men who hit on me are hobos. They won't leave me alone, every time i go to mcdonalds there's a hobo telling me my eyes look like sparkling diamonds or some shit

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  • I am a bit shocked and appalled at how many girls actually get harassed by guys/dudes who think that will get the girl to give them their numbers. WTF? Has the bar on how to flirt sucken that low? I flirt all the time even with no intention of getting a number simply because I find it fun. I do get numbers here and there but never disrespect nor harass and then expect to get a number... I'm a bit discombobulated right now. Need time to wrap my head around this.

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  • ladies you have to remember, guys express their feelings in a very non specific manner. Just the opposite as you specific expressing females. Guys do not feel the need to go so deep to express how they feel. If your man says "know what I mean" he just expressed his feelings just prior to those words. You just missed it. We also express lots of things within little questions, like, why do you have to do that? or little comments with either a negative or positive tone, followed by a half laugh, or a whatever, a small smile as he nodes his head and says "totally" . These are all different expressions of our feelings. The why do you have to do that means, we are uncomfortable with that. The smile and the totally is approval or a yes or our expression of a mutual understanding. Try to clue in on the negative and positive tones prior to our facial expressions. Guys actually express volumes!

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    • or.. you could just be direct like everyone says they are.

      also being uncomfortable doesn't say much. you'd gave to explain WHY you're uncomfortable. and know what i mean means nothing bc if she didn't understand what you said than knowing its about a feeling doesn't do anything in the watt of classification.

      i dont talk about how i feel bc its just not part of who i am. but at least i don't hint and give ridiculous clues and say I'm 'communicating'.

      you should say WHY do you do that. so she knows you want to discuss something.

      and instead of know what i medan just say what you mean.

      lol i want an example of something you said where it was followed by 'know what i mean' bc I'm recalling a guy doing that several times. but i can't remember what he said just the follow up. bc it was so unclear.

      also 'why do you have to do that'. had no idea what he was referring to, but i do remember the question... but you see precision moves mountains.

  • You know, it's never actually happened to me before.

    But there's this bar near my house... It happens a lot but only there?

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  • I don't get asked out, I get approached and from then on I Need to take the initiative, the girls don't seem to know what they are doing, or even what they want. everytime a Girl approached me first seemed to me like I was their dating Coach or so

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  • i dont go out of my way to get dates. i usually meet people through work and often times dont bother with people at work because why would i want to do that tp myself? if it didn't work out itd be all awkward and shit at work, work sucks enough as it is. every girl I've dumped has hated me afterwards not even friendship material. just dont like to force things i guess. shouldn't have that forced feeling, everything should just feel natural when iam having chemistry with somebody

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  • I do my best to lead women into asking me out. I feel so needy having to do it EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN' TIME.

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  • I've only kind of asked one person out so far

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  • Wow.. is it weird I get asked out by dudes more than some of these ladies? I'm really beginning to reevaluate my life.

    and i'm straight by the way.-.

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  • I have asked out about 10 in the last 10 years.

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  • i think (most) men are scared to a point where they dont like to hear a no.. it touches the ego of men when rejected. that probably also the reason why 'hooking up' is the thing from today. in the end they can either decide to be friends or take it further. i could also be wrong here.. but thats just what i think.

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  • I have no issue asking girls out. If she just seems very neutral through the whole conversation then I probably won't ask. If she is on her phone , im not even gonna talk to her. Learned my lesson after a few times. My time is just as valuable as hers so if I dont get the feeling that she's at least enjoying the conversation, then im gone.

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  • Never. Why for me? Because I'm too shy and don't want to go into that drama

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  • I just hit on girls whenever I feel like i'm ready for a relationship...

    I sometimes get rejected but most of the time they give me their number and I get to know them better. Maybe it's just because I don't really want sex and it shows...

    Can you answer my question too? :)
    hgirlsaskguys. com/dating/q1135871-to-girls-getting-hit-on-this-question-is-for-you

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  • I feel like a contributing asshole to this problem. I don't like any girls and I don't want a relationship, so I don't ask girls out. Dang I didn't know this was such an issue.

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  • One or twice a year i ask someone out. I see someone special, i can't help feel attracted to her.

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