My fat friend gets more action than me?

Let me start off by saying she isn't morbidly obese or anything. She looks to be about a size 14, so she's just overweight.

Anyways, I have this friend who's overweight yet she seems to have no problem getting guys. And no, she doesn't date other overweight or unattractive men. She gets with guys that pretty much any woman would find attractive. Right now she's currently dating a very cute and fit guy (tennis player and a swimmer) and they seem happier than ever. He's totally faithful to her and even turned down a super tiny cheerleader when she was throwing herself at him.

I'm happy for her, it's just really confusing to me. Growing up, I was always told that a good personality would never make up for being fat in most guy's eyes, yet my friend seems to disprove this theory.

I guess I'm just wondering why this might be?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • She must know how to talk to a guy. And I would assume that she is pretty good at making them feel good and not just physically but emotionally to.

    Most women think that men can be hooked by sex and stroking their ego. But then they end up in bad relationships. But a girl that really knows what she is doing will know how to really make their man feel safe and protected emotionally. Once he feels she wouldn't hurt him then he is hooked. So girls that are good at that will score a lot with men and have them stick by their side.

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What Guys Said 13

  • I've heard of this before and I''m gonna say she's probably doing what a lot of girls screw up on and that's taking initiative. Most girls screw up their chances with guys by simply not acting on things.

    They don't ask how the guy's doing. They don't initiate texts. They don't have any humor. They are just... wallflowers and boring as hell. So she's probably a little chubby, but actually talks and laughs as has a good time. She doesn't come on sites like this "bragging" about how great she thinks she is. She is out there talking and mingling with guys. If a guy is near her, she's probably striking up conversations and such.

    Many guys like me will never date her, but we'll at least talk to her and such. That also makes for networking meaning even though I may not be into her. I may have a friend who is.

    So basically, don't wait for life to come to you. Actually go out there and live it. Don't be like other boring idle girls who think the guy "needs to do all the work" because first of all, it shouldn't be "work" and secondly, guys don't like mannequins. They like real girls.

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  • Good for her. Seriously. I hope more girls see this question. Anythings possible. Just have to keep your head up and not lose faith.

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  • Some guys like a little extra cushion in a girl but some of us don't if where being honest about it , the fact that you said she is really short may have enough extra attractiveness for the guys to overlook some weight to since that seems to go up an down in woman rapidly.

    Personality isn't what normally draws guys in but it is a key factor if we are going to stay around. if a girl naggs and itches all the time the guy will only stay around as long as his nerves can stand it if she really hot he mite stay a little longer but if she is relaxed an easy going personality it keeps the guys round instead of driving them away.

    There are lots of key factors that make attraction: face , body, hair, height, weight, personality even distance can draw a guy in or keep him away

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  • She's probably more easily approachable. A lot of guys won't bother with "really good looking women" because there intemidated or they have been turned down buy really hot women. So they slowly move down to a women that is a little more attractive until one says yes. And that's where they set there standards. It's a shame your calling out your friend like this but maybe if fine ass women wouldn't be so caught up in getting hot or a certain type of guy it wouldn't be so hard for them. I know a lot of hot women my age and they are still single and I don't think they realize that us guys aren't gonna bend over backwards for you just because DNA worked in your favor.

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  • It's just a fact that some guys are really attracted to girls who are bigger and more curvy, voluptuous, plus size, or whatever else you want to call it.

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  • Weight is usually not a big factor unless they are obese.
    I prefer thinner, but I had a chubby FWB, and we had a lot of fun.
    Weight is not a deal breaker, personality is.
    Your friend is probably bubbly and friendly, making people comfortable around her.
    Believe what you see, not what you hear.

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  • Most likely she won the guys heart over for some reason
    not all the times do the bigger girls go after bigger guys
    sometimes the opposites attract

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  • hehe... so you feel entitled because you're hotter...

    And? feel happy for her, don't get envious...

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  • Looks dont matter. Its the personality that counts.

    Just because you are fat, doesn't mean you cannot get a bf...

    Everyone has its own unique beauty. =)

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    • Looks dont matter really? I don't see too many 400lb men with dates.

    • Oh @UglyKevin... seriously, you need to get your inner goddess on the go and stop moping... We're all beautiful!

    • @LastGirlScout prove me wrong on how many fat guys who are real people, and not someone named Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin. Oh that's right they don't exists.

  • This should be living proof that women even if their ''Overweight'' can get dates and or sex more than a guy can. I also feel confident in saying if the gender roles were reverse the guy would be a laughing stock in the dating community. But yet women and girls tell me that's not true? Which I just laugh. Also goes to show that men are not as shallow or picky as girls are.

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    • I feel for you. This perspective. Yeah. Congratulations.

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    • That fine I don't have anything to prove to you. But neither of them were rich either. The first was still in college.

    • @DeaJo2016 that's because your lying.

  • The second to last paragraph is false

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  • You shitting me? This doesn't happen anywhere... unless you live in Canada lol.
    wtf?

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    • lol does Canada have a lot of overweight women or something?

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    • Then how the fuck is it even possible

    • dude... this shit happens. Sorry to mess with your world view n all..

  • Well, just look at Megan Fox

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    • I don't understand what you're trying to say

    • You will

What Girls Said 20

  • You're totally happy for your "fat" friend. Wow her boyfriend is reasonable looking. CRAZY! He even turned down a skinnier girl? For his GIRLFRIEND?

    This guy is a saint!

    If you were MY friend.
    www.reactiongifs.com/.../face-slap.gif

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  • Because you sound like a mega bitch. That's why you aren't getting any. Your friend is probably cute and being overweight isn't an issue for most guys. And if she had a kick ass personality well... that's why she has the cuties and you have nothing.
    You obviously were told wrong too, because personality does have a HUGE say in what others see.

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    • Yes, i do think that i was told wrong which is why i'm asking this question. My mother was a model, so there was always a large emphasis placed on looks in my family. I basically grew up thinking that my looks was all i had to offer.

    • Maybe in your case yes.

  • HAHAHAHAHAH someone's jellyyyyyyyyyy

    "I'm happy for her"
    then whyyyyyy are you questioning her capabilities to get with someone "attractive" (as if it were a sin for a bigger chick to be with a good looking guy *rolls eyes*)

    get out your pen and paper anon and quit hating and start taking notes!

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    • Yeah, I totally am jealous and I can admit that! But I disagree that you can't be jealous and happy for someone at the same time. It's only natural that as someone who's having a slump in my dating life, I'm a little jealous when I see couples.

  • Beauty is sure skin deep, as I have always found to be true. And if you sometimes are out and about and See the 'Ugliest' girls with the cutest guys---This is true by all means.
    Personality enhances Any flaw on any female, I say. And this is the case with your friend. She may have a bit more pounds that she knows is There, however, with her charisma and charm and just Everything else to hold the sizzle and spark, many girls find they--------Can't hold a candle to her.
    One could probably learn a lot from a girl with a------Little more to offer than some girls. xx

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    • Yeah, my friend definetely isn't ugly but what you're saying makes a lot of sense. She has an amaaaazing personality. She's the kind of woman that people just naturally gravitate to. Funny, brilliant, witty, soft spoken yet fiesty, etc.

    • That in itself is an Eye Opener, an Instant Sexy attraction, and with this, her weight can be over looked, not------Over thought. But with your qualities, probably being perhaps 'better looking, thinner,' you sound as though you have 'what it takes in personality' to nab the best yourself. Don't feel insecure ever, for guys when they see someone they Feel they have magnitude with, Fall for That person only... Could be love... xx

  • well, like you said, she's not excessively overweight. I think it's just a matter of self-confidence... Some people, when they stop caring about their weight (or other physical features), feel more secure and more willing to open up... and it shows in their attitude... i think guys really pick up on that

    Mind you, I wouldn't say that's true of everyone. Some people draw a great deal of motivation and self-confidence from caring a lot... i think it just depends on your priorities and what you take pride in about yourself. (though, if appearance is the ONLY thing you took pride in, i'd wonder if you were superficial, lol ^_^)

    I've gotta wonder too if maybe guys are attracted to her because her weight suggests that she's automatically not superficial and/or low maintenance (ergo, less complications and drama)

    i dunno, just some things to think about :)

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  • I disapprove to because you sound a bit like a hater just a bit. I don't think you'd be bashing your friend about being heavy and getting cute guys. Being fat doesn't mean unattractive, there's cute. big girls out here. As people get older depending on people's maturity level things start being a little less about looks and who you vibe with. Maybe your friend isn't the thinnest but maybe she has features and characteristics guys tend to gravitate towards more. You want her bf not to be faithful or something? If he's faithful that's who he is and that's a good thing.

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    • No, i definitely would never want her bf to cheat on her. I saw her go through that before a long time ago and she was totally shattered, so I'd never wish that on her. I only mentioned that incident because I didn't want people to say "oh he's only dating her because he can't get skinny women" because he 100% can. The girl who tried hitting on him wasn't just skinny, she was like Victoria Secret model skinny. So if he really wanted to he could totally dated women, he isn't "settling."

      And I think people misunderstood me a little. I think my friend is pretty and she has a KICK ASS personality. But I was under the impression that most men preferred fit women, especially men who are fit like the one she's dating. I thought that fat women were to men what short men are to women. Still attractive, but usually less in demand.

  • Maybe because some people don't associate "fat" with "bad" or "unattractive". Which is effing great, plus points for humanity.

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    • Correction its more except able if your female because guys are willing to give her a chance.

    • I think you mean "acceptable", @UglyKevin. And no, thanks, but no correction needed. Some people legitimately don't think being overweight automatically makes someone unattractive.

  • You have to understand that good personality is a winner in any case. She can improve herself. I mean, losing weight is not a big deal while comparing it to improving a personality.
    If you really are her friend, encourage her to lose weight. This will make you good person and make you have a good personality.
    No need to be sad. Everyone has own beauties. Some can be visible, some are not. Non visible ones are the most precious ones. Her boyfriend probably is aware of this beauty.
    You can be happy and find a guy too. But you need to drop this behavior. Don't judge the book because of the cover. Good intentions are the best. There is nothing good comes from negative feelings. Get rid of them. Be really happy for your friend. First start with this. The rest will come.

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    • It's none of Askers business to ask her friend to loose weight. That would make her a bad friend and shallow person. The friend isn't obese and slight overweight doesn't really cause health problems. She is happy with herself and het life. So should Asker.

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    • Your comment was way more rude and negative than mine :D good luck with that
      I was stating my opinion and from your text, I got the impression you meant asker should help her loose weight. ("You should encourage her to lose weight")

    • Yeah ok. No I am not mean, I am not rude either. I didn't say to anyone to do something. I don't really care. Every one is free as I am as you're. It is not my business. I am quite aware of it. I just suggested her to use her negative energy into different ways. @GoddessofTruth

  • It just really depends on the guy... some guys like women with a little more meat... and I think as men get older they realize looks are not as important. But... my BF would never go out with a larger woman... he finds it repulsive (I don't mean to be rude)... he likes his women thin... a lot of guys would disagree though.

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  • I seriously can't stand it when people have an i'm thinner/hotter so I should get more buys than the fatter/uglier ones attitude. Perhaps it's obvious you have this attitude and it turns guys off, I know I'd be turned off a guy if he was like this. Also, maybe she's taking initiative, maybe she's approachable and easy too talk to and have fun with, maybe this guy likes girls who don't look like the wind could snap them like a twig, maybe she has a brain and is able to carry a conversation instead of being an airhead cheerleader. There're 10000000000 possible reasons men find her attractive.

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  • I've been slim and overweight and have never found a problem getting guys being either. She just must be an truly awesome girl, lucky you to have such a wicked friend! Having a nice body to look at very rarely counts if the personality is like a bit of soggy toast.

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    • as a case in point: had a telephone engineer come to my office yesterday, mid thirties, overweight and had a belly... if I were single I would have been flirting shamelessly! He was gorgeous and really charming, despite the bum and tum... wouldn't have put me off for a second.

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    • And NO GIRLS LIKE FAT GUYS. WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO ADMIT?

    • Because it isn't true! Just keep filling your own head with BS... it's done you well so far hasn't it..

  • 14 isn't overweight, that is normal and she flaunts it. She sounds like a fun happy type of person. You sound jealous of this, don't worry its ok :)

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    • 14 is overweight...

    • The point isn't about her weight (regardless of your contradictions), its about you being too vain. If this truly bothers you either say something to your friend on how you feel and suck it up, or ditch her.
      Maybe take a few tips from her, if you want a guy just get out there and be more smartly adventurous.

  • Have you ever thought that maybe she's just prettier than you. What does this "fat" friend look like/ 14 isn't even that big...

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    • Well i stated at the beginning that she isn't huge, just overweight. And she's pretty chubby looking but it's because she's really short to, you know?

    • Ya. Well is she more out going and really fun to be around? That could be why the guys like her more. Some guys like more cushion for the pushing lol.

  • face is what most people look at

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  • Hahah. What size are you?

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  • maybe her personality is better

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  • Maybe she isn't a shallow superficial bitch. Looks aren't everything. Stop being judgmental.

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  • Hmmm... That isn't the norm, honestly. She must be very pretty and very warm and charismatic. Most of the chubby gals I know go with chubby guys.

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  • First, size 14 doesn't mean you're fat. I have curves called an ass and hips that make me a size 14. I go back in at the waist and have a decent rack lol. It's called hour glass figure. And almost a flat stomach, still toning lol. Anyways, I don't know her or her structure so she may be, just sayin bigger sizes aren't always fat.
    Second, I have friends bigger than me that can get ANY guy they want, where as I struggle a lot with guys. Biggest difference is that they are the most confident women I know. Size doesn't matter, it's how you view yourself. No one else is going I find you attractive or care about you if you don't do it for yourself first. Find something that boosts your confidence and flaunt it, an you'll have no trouble. I personally bury myself in my music and perform when I can, because that's when I'm most confident. In the physical sence, quoting Megan Trainor in my case, it's all about that bass and I have no problem showin off the figure I have lol.

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  • I had an ex friend like this who was fat. Then I realized that it was not her weight it was the fact that she was a Latina and she was dating black men who find it hard to get a Latina because where I live the Latinas dated other Latinas or white men and it was always a competiton amongst the dark black men because of the videos they watched. I'm half black

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