Why do I deserve to suffer seriously, why? I got rejected by some girl not too long ago, and you know what? Fuck it, just fuck it. I'm so fucking sick of people saying to move on, don't you fucking idiots get it, I can't move on, I really just can't. I don't like any other fucking girl, I really don't know why it's so hard for people to get that, don't you get, I will die fucking alone. Everyone always blames guys for being upset over getting rejected, because"girls can't help how they feel" well, know what, neither can I, and if a decide to blow my brains onto my room wall, then it's not your business or anyone else's. And, know what, anyone other girl that could love me is either desperate or probably extremely obese, I don't even care if one of them are attractive, there not her, and I don't care what they do with their lives, they mean less than nothing to me, and I really mean that. Honestly, I used to be a nice person, but, at this point, I'm always angry and sad, I can't even force myself to appreciate anything in life, right now, I hate everything, I hate the existence of life, that's how miserable I am, pathetic, huh? I'm basically beyond help, in fact, my question could be thought of as a way to ask what I should do to solve my problem. I've tried moving on, but, with my life as it is now, still having to face a lifelong battle with borderline personality disorder before I'm even 18, I don't even want to live anymore, I don't care if there is no God or no life after death, anything would be better than living at this point, believe me, I've been trying to be happy, but cutting has finally helped me the most, at this point I just hate everyone I've ever met, and I am totally prepared to kill myself to escape this feeling, believe me, nothing else will work. So, what I really wanted to ask, the real point of my question, what is the least painful way to end my life? Don't say not ending it because that's not an option.
Most Helpful Girl
You feel you deserve to suffer because you feel guilty about something and you can't get over it... so you feel that, in general, you're a bad person... and deserve anything horrible that comes your way
... most likely because you can't accept the SPECIFIC reason why you feel guilty... which I'm guessing is either a reason for your rejection... or catalyzed by it.
I know you're seeking answers here... you seem rather desperate in fact... but i have two questions for you...
1) if suicide is really your only option, whey haven't you pursued that yet?
(obviously something is holding you back)
2) why do you care about having a painless death if you feel you deserve to suffer (and have already hurt yourself via cutting)?
... what i'm getting at is that, if pain is the reason you're considering this route... then obviously something you care about passionately is causing you this pain... and if you have something that you deeply care about... then that one thing is a reason for living (not just "to life", but also the explanation as to why you currently "are living")... I think a part of you realizes that even if it doesn't seem like it.0
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