Why do I deserve to suffer?

Why do I deserve to suffer seriously, why? I got rejected by some girl not too long ago, and you know what? Fuck it, just fuck it. I'm so fucking sick of people saying to move on, don't you fucking idiots get it, I can't move on, I really just can't. I don't like any other fucking girl, I really don't know why it's so hard for people to get that, don't you get, I will die fucking alone. Everyone always blames guys for being upset over getting rejected, because"girls can't help how they feel" well, know what, neither can I, and if a decide to blow my brains onto my room wall, then it's not your business or anyone else's. And, know what, anyone other girl that could love me is either desperate or probably extremely obese, I don't even care if one of them are attractive, there not her, and I don't care what they do with their lives, they mean less than nothing to me, and I really mean that. Honestly, I used to be a nice person, but, at this point, I'm always angry and sad, I can't even force myself to appreciate anything in life, right now, I hate everything, I hate the existence of life, that's how miserable I am, pathetic, huh? I'm basically beyond help, in fact, my question could be thought of as a way to ask what I should do to solve my problem. I've tried moving on, but, with my life as it is now, still having to face a lifelong battle with borderline personality disorder before I'm even 18, I don't even want to live anymore, I don't care if there is no God or no life after death, anything would be better than living at this point, believe me, I've been trying to be happy, but cutting has finally helped me the most, at this point I just hate everyone I've ever met, and I am totally prepared to kill myself to escape this feeling, believe me, nothing else will work. So, what I really wanted to ask, the real point of my question, what is the least painful way to end my life? Don't say not ending it because that's not an option.

Updates:
Why can't anyone just answer my question? I know I'm at fault for everything, I know I can't be happy, I know I'm an evil dumb piece of shit that, believe me, I've been told that my entire life and don't need to be reminded! Just tell me what to do!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You feel you deserve to suffer because you feel guilty about something and you can't get over it... so you feel that, in general, you're a bad person... and deserve anything horrible that comes your way
    ... most likely because you can't accept the SPECIFIC reason why you feel guilty... which I'm guessing is either a reason for your rejection... or catalyzed by it.

    I know you're seeking answers here... you seem rather desperate in fact... but i have two questions for you...

    1) if suicide is really your only option, whey haven't you pursued that yet?
    (obviously something is holding you back)

    2) why do you care about having a painless death if you feel you deserve to suffer (and have already hurt yourself via cutting)?

    ... what i'm getting at is that, if pain is the reason you're considering this route... then obviously something you care about passionately is causing you this pain... and if you have something that you deeply care about... then that one thing is a reason for living (not just "to life", but also the explanation as to why you currently "are living")... I think a part of you realizes that even if it doesn't seem like it.

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    • She was my reason for living, but I don't have her, so I don't have a reason to live. And I've attempted suicide before, stood on the ledge of my building, tried strangling myself with a belt, slit my worst, jumped on some train tracks (I got helped up). And I don't particularly want to suffer, I want to die to stop my suffering.

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    • Also, I'm not going to tell you to move on... clearly you can't... but if you wanna move on eventually you have to move "forward"... that doesn't mean trying to ignore the rejection...'cause that'll just make the pain get worse

      they say "time heals all wounds"... but if that were true, we wouldn't have ambulances or doctors, lol

      so if you want the pain to go away, you can't just endure it... you have to figure out what's causing it and go from there

      Like, if I was run over by a truck... the TRUCK is the reason I hurt all over... but if i wanna get better, it's HOW the truck hurt me that the doctors will need to know in order for me to get back on my feet (like what parts were damaged and so forth)

    • ... and i'm not saying you should see a therapist or anything... in fact, i hate comments like that because they're entirely dismissive and somewhat offensive

      ... just that... i think the situation calls for some deep reflection... and sometimes the pain like you described can be a big obstacle for those that try to go it alone.

What Girls Said 14

  • No one is going to tell you how to kill yourself. I personally know of a completely painless way to die, but there's no way I'm going to tell you what it is, because then I'd be helping you murder.

    Instead, I'm just going to tell you that you will move on. If you really love this girl, then it won't be quick or easy, but it will happen. You're young. All teenagers think that things like this mean the end of the world, but you'll see that it's only temporary. Don't give yourself a permanent "solution" to a temporary problem.

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  • so you wanna hear us agree with you, and go ahead and kill yourself? That's easy I don't know you and you don't know me, it wouldn't affect me or any of us. It would only suck for yourself and the people around you that care for you. Saying there are none is foolish even you are ought to know that.
    Is suicide a solution?
    no, it is an easy escape and it's also unchangeable.
    A solution would solve things, killing yourself is runnig /evading your problems and a sever one at that.
    Why would you even bother choosing an easy way to kill yourself? Dead is dead, like I said it's irreversable.

    You put a burden upon yourself that doesn't need to be there. You are so wind up in your pain that you cannot seem to neutralize what you are experiencing. And the life you have a head of you.
    Life is a game, a journey, one that you were granted. Weather it will be a fun life or not is all up to you and how you deal with it. No one is to blame really, not you, not the girl, no one.
    That is life. Everyone get's formed by their close enviroment and cultural influences. Everyone suffers and deals with it their own way. That you suffer, or that I or the boy/girl next door does it's all trivial because it is so common. And there are people out there who suffer greater.

    So what can you do? What is the key to feel good about yourself again? To make you happy again?
    That's you.
    You hold the key to lessen the burden, to not feel guitly, no one else. not even that girl.
    You need to learn to rationalize your thoughts and actions.

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  • why do you deserve to suffer? well why do you deserve to go out with any girl you want, even when she doesn't want you? You don't, that's why. you can't help but liking her and "can't move on", and in the same breath you also blame her for not liking you. she can't help that either. she can't just switch how she feels because it's more convenient for you. and if you think that every other girl in the world means "less to you than nothing," that's not very respectful or kind, and no one finds that attractive.
    you need to seek help. professional help. if you keep raging against everyone and everything because of perceived slights and self-harming, you're not going to feel any better.

    if you wanted a way to end your life, you could google that and you know it. instead you went on a pity party rant and then want to rage against even more people for addressing 99% of what your question contained? Just stop.

    What you should do is go see a therapist to talk to. it will help much more than just yelling at random people on the internet.

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    • That's funny, look, I don't give a fuck about her or choice, she doesn't like me, fucking fine, I don't give a shit about her or any fucking person, she rejected me fine, I don't give a shit I just need to fucking die!

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    • You really think I wanted to be like this, huh? No matter what I do people hurt me and make fun of me all the fucking time and no one ever fucking tries to help, ever!! Fine, leave then, you're not special, you're just like everyone else!!!

    • Know what, you're right, I am not boyfriend material, I am capable of far more bitterness and cruelty than anyone else, HAHA!

  • Wow melodramatic much? We're not going to say how to kill yourself we would probably get banned for it. So this is all over a girl? Believe me, dating and knowing that special some-one always can be hard. Rather than kill yourself just go out partying or whatever to take your mind off your petty crap in life. Obviously you should go and talk to some-one, but you're young and should experience the joys in life. I can only wish you the best for your future, and a successful recovery from your thoughts.

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  • Honey rejection hurts no matter how old we are. Rejection gets us one step closer to the right one we just have to weed through all the bad apples and besides you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Love yourself first and love will soon to follow. you are young and you should be enjoying your youth as you have plenty of time for dating when you are older and out of school. have fun. go to the movies with friends, sing out loud to music, dance. just enjoy yourself in the meantime and you will be bound to catch some girl's eye.

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    • Thank you, most go the comments have been very negative, hence my reactions to everyone else.

  • No one here is going to advice you on how to take your life in the least painful way. Perhaps instead of that, you should talk to your parents so they can get you professional help.

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    • Therapy has been a waste of time.

  • Okay, sometimes I feel the same way. And it is really fucking shitty that that girl rejected you. And it is fuck up that you can't go on with your life. I totally understand. And of cours you can't forget about that girl right away. But do you let this girl make you so sad, and feeling miserable? And even cutting yourself? Is SHE worth it? Is she worth your feeling so sad and is she worth destoying yourself? She is just a girl, there are about 3 billion other girls. So please please stop feeling sad and find the urge to love yourself and life again. She is totally not worth your grief and your suffering!! There is going to be a better time. I am 110 % sure.

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  • you're still young. you can still find another girl that you will like the same way or even more than the girl who rejected you. hang on, you may have not move on now but you will eventually get over this. if your therapist is not helping you then find another one!

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    • Even if that happens, I can't wait anymore, not when I feel this miserable. Besides, if I do somehow meet someone else, I'll just feel like this again.

    • you have to tell your parents or therapist that you are contemplating suicide, that talking is not helping you so that they can refer you to a doctor or the therapist himself will prescribed you medicine to be able to help you control your emotion.

  • your probably not going to take anyone seriously but I think you should take me seriously I have been bullied before and gone through far worse problems then you ( not that I know your whole situation but from what I know) and I have got threw it all for years I hated myself and thought I was ugly and usless but you know what that was other people telling me that I wasn't being myself so I learned not to listen to other peoples negative comments. So I know you like this girl a lot and just because she rejected you that doesn't mean you should stop chase after her and show her how much you care for her. you shouldn't let other people make you feel sad you better than that so listen to me don't end your life you have much more self respect and dignity to do that.

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  • lol you are a teen. This has got to be a joke-stop stressing.

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  • You wanna kill yourself because of one fucking rejection? How long has it been since you asked her our, like two days? There are plenty of girls out there and just because you didn't get over this particular one yet doesn't mean you never will. And if that's the worst thing that has ever happened to you, you don't wanna know what others have to go through. Bullying, rape, physical abuse, depression, life-changing medical condition, death of one's child... There are so many other things that are about million times worse than being rejected. Especially when you're under 18, it was gonna happen eventually anyway. So stop whining, grow a pair and GO LIVE. Suicide is a very cowardly way to solve your problems you know. Girls are not the only thing in this world that matter. Go work out, play video games, chill with friends, whatever makes you happy

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    • Well, I have been bullied, had a medical condition, technically still have a medical condition (bpd co-morbid with depression) so I already have 3 things on the list down. And, suicide sometimes is the only solution, desperate measures for desperate times, right?

    • Suicide is never a solution, it's running away. I consider mental illness and a physically imparing medical condition two different things. Bullying sucks, but you can get over it, and it's the same with depression.

  • Being a teenager fucking sucks.

    I get it.

    My boyfriend of 3 years cut himself after a girl broke up with him in high school and I had some pretty messed up shit myself when I was that age. Point is, I am really glad that neither of us did anything permanent or life ending over things that (with time) became trivial. I know you don't believe it right now but people do love you now and there will be more people to love you in the future. Put a smile on your face and stop saying hurtful things and your life should slowly improve, it did for us.

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  • Sorry as much I would like to help, I had to report this for suicide talk in the post, please get help you don't have to take your life so soon!

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    • What? I din't say you couldnt talk about your problems and you better watch your mouth! you know, if you can't take anyones advice then there's the problem to why you're stuck at the start line!

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    • you're talking to an also messed up person so this doesn't help, sorry I bothered.

    • Sorry

  • Okay, sometimes I feel the same way. And it is really fucking shitty that that girl rejected you. And it is fuck up that you can't go on with your life. I totally understand. And of cours you can't forget about that girl right away. But do you let this girl make you so sad, and feeling miserable? And even cutting yourself? Is SHE worth it? Is she worth your feeling so sad and is she worth destoying yourself? She is just a girl, there are about 3 billion other girls. So please please stop feeling sad and find the urge to love yourself and life again. She is totally not worth your grief and your suffering!! There is going to be a better time. I am 110 % sure.

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What Guys Said 10

  • Killing yourself isn't a solution. It's quitting. There are so many amazing things in this world to live for, please don't give up on it. So the girl of your dreams rejected you. It sucks, but you will get through it. A lot of guys get rejected by girls they think are perfect and later end up with terrific partners. At 18, you haven't even given yourself a fair chance at life to know you don't want to take part in it.

    I had someone very close to me make an attempt on their life when they were about your age. He was in a bad space dealing with a mental disorder and didn't think he was ever going to live up the the expectations of his family. Now, he's a senior in college, one of the happiest, most outgoing guys I know, and just accepted an amazing job offer in NYC for when he graduates. But this took a lot of time and a lot of help to get him from his rock bottom to his current state.

    If you're not already, please seek help. Mental illness is one of those things that can be unbearable to deal with on your own, but completely manageable with the right professional help and medication. And you don't have to get over this girl who rejected you right now, but given time, you will. Not because you are doing something specifically to get over her, but because with time people move on from things like that.

    For the sake of everyone, most of all yourself, please don't take your own life. There is too much to live for to give up on it, and there is nothing harder on family members and friends than having to come to the grips with the fact you were so unhappy you didn't want to live. Please don't do it.

    I hope this helped at least a little. If you want to talk more, feel free to message me.

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  • "The world owes you nothing. It was here first." - Mark Twain

    After reading your post, two things are apparent. First, you have an unhealthy and unrealistic way of looking at sex. Second, you need therapy. Not having sex is not a reason to go kill yourself. Not getting social attention is not a reason to go kill yourself. Come back here and contemplate suicide when you realize that you're basically a rat going in and out of their own little box each day, working, making money for those who control you, feed yourself, take care of your own health, finance your offspring to continue this process of slavery, all so you may live like the pigs in Animal Farm.

    Until that's your problem, you can cancel the trip down to Georgia, where physician-assisted suicide is lawful, and instead of coping with a relatively minor problem by killing yourself, try and develop your "coping" skills. Coping, contrary to what the name would suggest, is not a process of feeding your mind useless fluff such as, "Things will get better."

    At Harvard, students are trained to say something to clients before they start any kind of work, "What you're asking me to do is difficult, but I believe we can do it, or at least get you very close." RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING, it's all about "expectation management." That way, if shit hits the fan, or if something is just "off perfect," 90% of complaints and customer service problems don't exist in the first place, because the person never came to expect that the project was "easy" or "simple" or "guaranteed."

    I wish there was someone who could properly orient your "expectations" in life (oh wait, aren't parents supposed to do something?). If there was, he would probably direct you to a woman's anatomy, and the fact that women have sexual needs too. That means they's not just some angelic magical fairies that live and breathe to stroke your cock when they see that you're a nice guy that really loves them.

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    • Yeah, they want nice things, and they want to feel like the penis they're having sex with is attached to a guy they can feel proud to be associated with next to society, her family, and her immediate circle of friends. Since women don't have dicks of their own, it's only natural they measure their partner's dicks; "My husband is a cardiologist. . . oh yeah b*tch, well my husband is a cadiothoractic surgeon, is smarter and makes more money than your husband, as evidenced by all of our expensive vacation pictures on Facebook!" But I digress. . . to their "sexual" needs that is. It's "okay" for a woman to want to have sex with a hot guy, that knows how to be sexy, that can verbally tease her and talk dirty to her during sex, that has fun role-playing and making her "feel" feminine and sexy herself during sex. Instead of "killing yourself," understand that that's something you can "learn" to do.

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    • "I already have a mental problem that renders me incapable of regulating my mood"

      The BPD that you mentioned somewhere else in this thread? Give me a break. Ya, because no-one in the history of mankind has ever been successfully treated for that. *rolls eyes*

    • Well, my treatment clearly hasn't been working since I still cut, still fear abandonment, and still contemplate suicide.

  • Why do you deserve to suffer?
    Because you don't take responsability for your own happiness/life.

    You're blaming everything on 1 girl and the "idiots" who don't get it.

    Good luck with your life or death whatever you choose.

    No I will not answer your question.

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  • Here's an answer: Rarely does anyone get what they deserve, you get what you get sometimes it for the better, sometimes for the worse.
    No matter how much you want it to be, LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Quit your bitching.☺

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    • My point exactly, fuck life, it can go eat shit, I don't feel like playing life's cruel twisted game.

  • You are pretty pathetic. You nailed that one.

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    • Yup, can you help me fix my mistake by answering my question at least.

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    • First I have borderline personality disorder, not bipolar disorder. Second, they actually had something to live for after being rejected, I do not.

    • well excuse me for not knowing what the initials meant. And your feelings come from your disorder. You can choose to make your life better if you so desire.

  • Then plan a better life for yourself.

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  • Listen, I remember being your age a few years ago (I am 19 almost 20). I remember being lovestruck and becoming narrow visioned to just one particular girl, thinking she was the one. But I went through high school never having a girlfriend or even a first kiss. But once I graduated, I started dating girls and realized the ones that I thought were "the one" actually were not my type the more I knew them.

    There is something called "infatuation". This is common amongst teens and even young adults. You start off feeling these intense feelings for a girl, envisioning a life long relationship with romance and love and affection, but once you win her over, you realize it was not what you thought it would be and your feelings you once had began to fade and become less intense. I recognized that immediately when I first started dating. When you are absolutely ready, you will know. I still struggle with the same issues, but at least I am aware.

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  • ok, kill yourself if that's what you think it is best.
    But before you do, why not sit down and explain to us why do you think you were wronged?

    ( and this is from a guy who has been rejected all his life. I am still single at 31 because i kept getting rejected, never had sex until now because i didn't want hook-ups but a family and haven't found the right person )

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    • I don't feel I was wrong, I'm sick of being treated like shit, I'm sick of loving someone that I know doesn't love me. I'm sick of being told I'm wrong to be upset while other people are shown compassion for it. I don't care how she or anyone else would feel about it, I need to fucking die, so I won't love her, or any other person in this shit world.

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    • I don't really care if they suffer anymore, I wish I could, but I can't.

      I never asked to be part of the race, I didn't choose to be born.

      The thing about guys is, they're right, I am a threat, whether or not I want to be
      And with the women, that's just natural selection, the weak lesser males get
      Bred out of the gene pool, that's the natural order.

      And, I can't fight a biological drive, only my will to live, but that's about it.

    • Your biological drive logic doesn't allow you to die.
      Suicide is not a biological setting but a conscious action of a ( unually ) higher intelligence.

  • Been there.. Today you might think your life is useless, you are a burden on your family , No one loves you , Your life is full of suffering , ... etc. Remember it's just a phase and you will get out of it. Just trust GOD !.
    Suffering is just a state of mind and use this as an opportunity to help others who are in pain.
    Try ending your expectations with everyone because expectations always hurt.
    Just follow the words of GOD.
    Let go of everything (your past , family , infatuation, etc).

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    • I don't believe in God.

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    • I disbelieve because being told that no one in life loves me, but some magical being I couldn't see, hear, or feel surprisingly didn't help at all, if anything, the thought made me even angrier.

    • I would say trust god, I would say trust yourself.

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