How to let go of fear?

I was talking to this guy and he told me he thought it might work out but I'm too scared for his liking. How can I change that part of me to see if he can like me? I want to give it a shot with him


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Fear is a tricky thing isn't it. It can stop people from making bad choices but it can also stop people from making good choices to can't it. The thing with fear is that it's typically never about something that is happening at that moment it's about things that have happened in the past that people have been lead to believe threw those past bad events that it may happen again. That is what is palled projecting you project bad things that have happened in the past to new things that are happening in the present. This question i believe involves fear from the past being projected to the present weather it be and witch i do think it is involving the fear you have gained from past relationships and or past experiences with men. weather it be they did something to you either physically, verbally, or mentally that fear has now put you in a state of mind to be weary of possible similar situations. You fear that those bad things may happen again, or things may not work out well, or even just that you will feel less about yourself if some bad things do happen. now how to handle that fear is what you really want to know well the reality is that you have to try and move on and let the past be the past. Don't get me wrong learn from what has happened and remember certain events that i like to call red flag events by remembering what to really look out for you can say to yourself well this event is similar or the same as in the past. Then if you see that those same patters are appearing you can avoid them and leave the potentially bad situation. Again you are taking what you have learned and knowing what you do now are using it to help yourself avoid those same problems. That being said you must learn as well to not project a past experience on the new man for example lest say you were in the past abused by an ex do not assume that this new man will be abusive or bad in the same way as the ex. Talk to him get to know him and pay attention for those red flags weather those

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    • are physical mental or verbal abuses. By doing that you control your fear and after a while you learn control over that fear and by doing that you overcome your fear. Dose that mean you won't be afraid to try again no that just means that you will build the confidants you need to move past it and that is called personal growth. Personal growth is the most important thing to moving on, and over coming fear. By growing stronger and more confidant those fears become less worrisome and after a while you forget the past events and move on. That's really how you do it you observe while keeping in mind those read flags and if those red flags appear then you take yourself away and out of the potentially bad situation. you will be able to have fun and relax and have a comfort in knowing those red flags and what to do. Now you must remember another thing especially right now is to communicate with him let him know your worry's and your concerns so that way he can try to be as understanding to

    • your needs as possible. Remember he is not your ex or ex's so treat him as a new person and try your best not to project the past on him. he may like some things that your ex's liked dose that mean he will act in that same way no, dose that mean that you should keep those red flags in mind just in case sure absolutely. Remember get to know him and don't be afraid to let lose relax as long as you remember the red flags and how to avoid or leave the situation or the person if they begin to act that way or in a way that you do not approve. If he dose something you don't like or feel comfortable with tell him and let him know why if he corrects himself then every thing is okay if he dose not then leave if you are not comfortable. I hope my words were understandable to you and that they have helped you with the situation you are in what ever that may be. I wish you luck with him and with future experiences.

What Guys Said 2

  • In my opinion a shy girl is cute but it looks like he doesn't see it the same way as me but if you want to try and be less fearful of talking to said man just try to over power him and make him shy meaning make yourself seem very confident but not to confident and in the end he should be surprised
    This has worked for me twice but it's a risky move cause if it doesn't work it might stay broken
    Good luck

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  • always try... if you don;t try you will regret it!!

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