Does anyone agree players are sick people?

I think players are pretty sick guys. The way they approach a girl- just wanting sex but coming up with a bunch of lies and even some romantic gestures to fool her Into giving in.

I just find it sick how they can lie to a girl and make her feel so special but really not be feeling any of those things. They just see it as a step closer to getting what they want.

And when they get dumped and see they didn't fool the girl, they manipulate the girl into being the crazy one, or at least feeling like she is.

Idk, they can't be stupid and have to know the girl will feel used at the end of it.

I dumped one recently who didn't fool me and told him that he shouldn't treat other girls like me and lead them on, because he will make the girls feel used and manipulated.

I was extremely composed and classy in the way I dumped him, and he tried to make me think I was crazy and even manipulate me into feeling sorry for him- like he did have some good intention and I was mean and assumed the worst, that I attacked him and blah blah.

It's just so sad to me that guys like this exist. He deserved a lot more hell from me and I was so proud of Keeping it classy on my end and logically pointing out to him how he played me.

Do these guys ever learn anything? And are they really common? I just feel so sorry for guys like this- I really think they have problems.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The type of player you talk about, I really haven't seen often. I know they are out there. Arguably many of them are narcissists.

    Most guys who self identify as players where I live, who are post high school age, don't enter relationships -at all- and are very clear all along they just like to 'have fun' and stay casual and aren't looking for a relationship. When you have a culture where hooking up is not uncommon, the girls who hook up choose to hook up with guys who are 'hook up' guys, not 'relationship' guys. So talking about relationships actually gets you laid less.

    The guys you are talking about operate more in groups where casual sex is very rare.

    Do the guys you are talking about learn anything? They've already learned a lot, and are applying it. Basically they are entirely selfish, and everything they learn they use to manipulate others more. They will never feel guilty. They have problems, but they're actually quite happy.

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    • I think he was a very skilled player, that's for sure. Acted like he wanted a serious relationship because he knew that I would only get sexual in one of those and not with any guy.

      I don't want him to treat another girl like how he treated me. He's already 25.. This extreme lack of maturity that he has is alarming to me. I don't see how he can ever change. He doesn't seem to feel guilty for anything he did and instead made me out to be the bad guy

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    • Agreed on what they -should- do. In fact I don't know why any would go the path he did, unless, as I said, casual sex is uncommon where you are.

      As for him, it really has nothing to do with 'maturity'. It has to do with empathy.

      "Immature" is a standard put down used on men who don't become salarymen and support a family, but its not really accurate.

    • I agree with you, thanks for opening my eyes. I'll be sure to correct that.

      And in our culture casual sex is frowned upon, so I could get why he would be promising me a serious relationship

What Guys Said 9

  • They lack integrity. And theyres plenty of female players too. Trouble is there are a lot of women who just want sex too just like this players. So these guys dont necessarily know what kindve person theyre dealing with. Yeah, many take advantage and theyre messed up for sure, guy or girl. But, some its a misunderstanding, so its inportant to state where you stand and your intentions. Now if they hear you out and lie, thats wrong. But if you just lightly imply or hint you want something more and have sex with them right off the bat... they may get the wrong message and might not actually be playing you. This is just what I observe. Im a conservative guy myself when it comes to women , im decently attractive yet even though I try to be the gentleman and be rightous , all these asshole players grab the attention of all the women. Then I end up with the female players or as someones rebound. But, at least I know I have integrity. I refuse to be like that. If it makes me less popular so be it, integrity should come first.

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  • they must be pretty common when you see all the posts from female GaGers about boys playing mind games and getting cheated on and all of that shit lol.

    but I actually don't notice any players irl. I would never know unless they told me they do that kind of shit.

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  • I agree with you, My girlfriend (soon to be fiancee) deals with this all the time because of the way she looks, pretty girls are just magnets for scum. She has been with guys like that and they all manipulate to get what they want. We never have a problem when we are out together (a 6ft2 member of he Navy has an effect on assholes) but i still she people staring at her, she even gets complimented sometimes by skeevy guys. You kept your cool and that the best thing you can do becuase they want you to give an emotional reaction and poke you for a rise.

    The worst threat an enemy can face - being ignored

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    • Exacfly what I did. I was honest with him, logical, kept calm, and cut all contact :)

  • They walk alongside a gender polarized sexist concept system that tells you how "women" are meant to be treated, but as such the person themselves is disregarded. The extension of this system is the dating game with the alphas and shit, and the perpetrators and supporters of this system is called PUA aka pickup artists.

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  • girls do the same thing by dressing 'sexy' and pretending to be promiscuous, but invariably expect a relationship.

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    • Not sure how the way someone can dress alone can manipulate a person of the opposite sex. Can you clarify?

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    • Well a nurses outfit and police outfit is common sense but just because she dresses sexy does not mean thats the kind of. girl she is

    • players consider the 'manipulation' of girls into sex with the same amount of guilt that girls feel when they dress sexy but have no intention of having sex. That's all I'm really saying. Think of what you are thinking when you decide to dress sexy. Are you thinking "I'm going to tease some guys into thinking they are getting lucky tonight!"? Probably not. By the same token, players aren't thinking "I'm going to trick some girls into thinking they've landed a steady relationship tonight!". Players merely assume that girls like sex for the sake of sex. They aren't aware that such a thing is actually quite rare in a girl. Most players don't act out of malice - they assume things will be mutually beneficial. That's all there really is to it, from their perspective.

  • most of the time girls know theyre dealing with a player, and just want to play the game. It is what is.

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  • I don't think they're sick, they are however immature, manipulative, deceitful and low class people.

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  • Men who abuse women for a single objective are crude, yes, but women who are naive are even worse

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    • At least the naiive girl wouldn't have a hurtful I intention, right? That's why I think the player would be worse

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    • Well you can move on now. He doesn't like you and stop trying to change his mind

    • I'm not trying to change his mind lol. I really want nothing to do with him, why I cut all contact with him when I dumped him. I don't want him either.

      I'm just trying to cope with being deceived, that's all.

  • I don't think being a player per se is sick.

    I'm sure there are sick players out there. But there are sick non-players out there too.

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What Girls Said 2

  • They're sick people to do these things to girls. Then when they have a daughter later in life they don't want that for their child. Karma is one hell of a b*tch

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    • How can these guys get married? I have no idea who would consent to being their wife.

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    • You said daughter later in life so I assumed marriage lol. My bad. But these guys are def not marriage material, I'll be surprised if they ever get married

    • Lol sorry for confusing you. Yeah you're right, guys like that are just a waste of time. I wish more girls could see though their bullsh*t from the start to avoid all that heart break.

  • I think girls should be smarter lol they've been players for centuries and we still fall for it lol

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    • I know I definitely am a lot smarter now lol. But still it's wrong for a guy to lie to a girl and promise her something he doesn't mean. A girl falling for his act doesn't mean the act should happen in the first place

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    • Very good advice. I'll be sure to take it :)

    • Glad I could help my dear :)

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