Am I expecting too much out of a relationship?

I'm 19 years old and have only ever dated the guy I'm with now. We've been together for a year and a few months and he's the only guy I've ever done anything with (even holding hands). He's sweet and amazing, he just is a bit immature (he's also 19). The problem is that I'm extremely mature for my age. I'm the head baker in a restaurant, a full time culinary student 30 hours a week, and learning to break horses (I have a ranch). I work my butt off all the time and I love it. I'm ready to settle down and have kids, but he isn't ready to. He's not passionate about anything right now. He's working and going to school so he can be an officer in the marines. I think he's an amazing guy I just want something more or something different. I'm a go-get-em kinda gal and he likes to just sit back and watch life go by. I know this was a long description, but I guess my question is, should I just be ok with our relationship because he really is a great guy or is it ok for me to want/try something different, something new. Am I just asking too much out of a relationship?


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What Guys Said 2

  • No, you shouldn't 'just be ok' with a relationship that isn't fulfilling just because he is a great guy. 19 is way too young for most guys to consider something like marriage, so if that's where you are in life you are going to have some big issues. It seems like you are very driven - you seem to know what you want and you have been going out and making it happen. It seems like he is much less so. This is going to become a bigger and bigger strain on the relationship moving forward.

    It is incredibly conceivable that you are going to end up making a lot more than him with that kind of drive and determination, and then it is going to seem like you are doing all this work to put into the relationship while he floats along. That will end up leading to resentment on your end.

    It sucks to suggest moving on from a relationship that seems to be actually fairly decent (compared to a lot of things I hear about) but it really sounds like there could be some long term compatibility issues that you are overlooking because he is your first point of comparison.

    If you are wanting something new now, it is only going to get worse later.

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  • I don't want to say break up with him but, if he is holding you back from living your life then something needs to change. Lif is too short to just settle with something. If you do end it, find someone who shares your drive for life and happiness. I can't nor will I say get rid of him, but everyone deserves to live life to the fullest. I hope I helped and good luck to you. :)

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    • Thanks... that's kinda what I was thinking, but I just want us to work so bad since he's my first boyfriend. I talked to him about how I felt and I was thinking about giving it a month or so and re-evaluating how I feel. Do you think that's a good idea?

    • Never give an ultimatium, that's not cool

    • I think thats a good idea, i mean im sorry you're having to do this but it needs to happen in my opinion

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