Did I cheat on her? Should I tell her?

Did I cheat on her? Should I tell her what happened?

So I was at work and was talking to a girl all night, she made it clear from the start she wanted sex but I said I had girlfriend. She didn't stop but was harmless and actually quite funny, she was flirty with most people and so I didn't think too much into it. We talked about our lives and we got on well, she talked about deep issues and i listen.

But as the night went on she was messaging me over Facebook and it came down to she sees my relationship as likely ending at some point (due to a discussion we had where I confided in her i wasn't totally happy with certain aspects) and she was offering herself. I refuse and my work closed we hugged she left, fine.

I saw her walking home and we ending up talking outside for a good hour and half, we were sitting down and my hand was between her leg and mine and she moved herself and sat on it. I lost all control and felt her butt, nothing casual it was a full on grope. Now I had to intention of sleeping with her or even kissing or anything more than I did. Does this count as cheating? Should I tell my gf?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I consider it a close save, tell your girlfriend what happened, you need to get your moral compass to point back to true north. If your girlfriend hears it from you, things will go much more smoothly than if she found out from someone else. Literally man up to your mistake-could-have-turned-into-a-bigger-mistake. And bro, cut the temptation off. Just cut this person off from your life, no more personal talks, just strictly buisness

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    • Thanks for the advice. Personally would you consider this cheating? Do you think we can recover our rocky and young (5month) relationship?

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    • Took your advice, she was obviously hurt but she forgave me and it helped clear the air about other topics we had been avoiding which was causing stress on our relationship. Thank you for your answer it really helped !

    • Let me put it this way bro "Veritas vos liberabit-The Truth shall set you free" John 8:32. I'm catholic, not the best in practice, and certainly not a bible thumper, but I take this one into heart. I'm glad it worked out, take care bro, you have an imaginary internet beer on me

What Girls Said 8

  • I wouldn't tell her.. If nothing other than that happened I think there is no reason to hurt your girlfriends feelings, because as a girl I know how upsetting something small like that is.. Although, I do think you should seriously think about your relationship with your girlfriend. Even though you had no intension on sleeping with this girl, the way you talk about talking to her kind of comes off as emotional cheating. I'm not saying that you should break up with your girlfriend, but I am saying that you should step back and try to figure out how you really feel about your life or relationship or whatever.

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    • Thank you for your answer, in all honesty I don't know. If I didn't know she did it I would be none the wiser and not have that situation. But I would like to think she would always be honest with me and I could trust her to tell the truth even if it led to the end of the relationship. She should rightfully dump me, i'm a horrible person for giving in and throwing away love for a grab of an ass. Which Is why i'm going to tell her and deal with the consequences of my actions.

    • Wrong answer sorry. To the girl above.

  • would you like your girl to tell you if the same thing happened with her? you answer yourself and figure it out. eventually people stay with people who are like them, if you lie you end up with someone who lies, if you're honest you can't stand lies and you leave people who lie, you get the picture

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  • Yes that is cheating.

    You guys were touching and feeling and emotionally connecting,
    That's something you do with a girlfriend.

    Do her a favor and be honest about what you have done, and don't cry if she dumps you.
    She totally should dump you.

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  • You're kind of emotionally cheating. Your connection to your girlfriend obviously isn't a strong one, otherwise you wouldn't be seeking affections in other women. You know this girl is into you yet you still chose to discuss your life and relationship with her which could easily jeopardise your current relationship. As for the ass grab, thats totally unacceptable. You should tell her. I'd have personally broken up with you if I was her.

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    • That's a fair point and answer. Only been together 5 months, had a lot of arguments and nearly broke up many times but neither of us could walk away. I've had chances in the past and refused them but this time I was frustrated with things I wasn't happy about and as mentioned the lack sex, which to me is a big deal in a relationship. I expect her to end things and she'd be right to but at the same time (while unacceptable) it was an ass grab, there was no kissing, no other touching and i never intended even for a second to have sex with the girl.

    • If you can't learn to love one another, learn to let go.

  • I wouldn't say its cheating. But you should tell your girlfriend and respect it if she gets mad cause thats an acceptable situation for her to be upset about. I also think that you are getting way to close to this other girl. Telling her about your relationship problems already knowing that she trying to get between you and your girlfriend. I think if you truly care for your girlfriend you should avoid this other girl as much as possible or make it clear to her that you guys are only friends and their should be boundaries. If you dont i think you are probably going to slip up and go further with this other girl or catch feelings for her.

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  • yeah its cheating, would you consider it cheating if your gf groped a guys dick, one who had been throwing himself at her for a while behind your back but 'honourably' refused to take it further? one week of lack of sex isn't long at all, i could sort of understand you feeling neglected if it was going on a month or more but one week is a poor excuse

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    • A fair point but 1. How does an ass even come close to a dick? If I felt this girls pussy sure that would be an adequate comparison. 2. Perhaps not to you but considering we've been having sex or at least oral 1-2 times a week at least it starts to get a lot for me, normally we'd sext or flirt that way but not even that. It no excuse for my actions at all i agree but it's a motivation behind it.

    • because women aren't as sexually attracted to mens asses as men are to womens, a womans ass can be a real turn on and a huge sexual thing for a man lik her breasts and vagina are. i have sex every day and a week would still not be enough for someone to consider cheating on their partner for, like i said a month and i could understand a bit more but a week is barely any time to get so desperate youd lose control.

  • You don't want to fuck her? then why did you grope her ass?

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    • Build up of sexual tension, me and my gf haven't had any form of sex or oral for over a week and I won't get the opportunity for at least another, probably longer. It was a moment of weakness I gave into lust and groped her ass. I refused to take it further, I love my gf emotionally but feel lacking physical recently.

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    • She came onto me, I didn't encourage her and she started to get the message and back off then that happen.

    • Well you touched her ass. How is that not encouraging her?

  • Yes, tell her, then after she dumps you go and fuck this other girl

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    • I don't want to fuck the other girl. If I did I had more than enough chances.

    • Too late now

    • Not really, I could refuse outright assuming I'm dumped or I could take up the offer any time. I don't want to though.

What Guys Said 1

  • If you have time to touch another girl than chances are the girl you're with isn't worth your time.

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