How can I tell him to shut up?

So I'm "seeing" this guy. More like a friends w/benefits.

he's over 21 and I'm not, so he talks about going out and drinking and doing drugs, occasionally. He knows I do not care for that stuff and I'm not into that. Yet, he always brings it up. Its really irritating, because the more he talks about it, more dumb and stupid he seems. Then it makes me disgusted to be around him. He also constantly says he wishes I were 21. Its really irritating. Its like wtf, am I supposed to do? Even if I were I wouldn't be hanging around him doing that kind of shit. Sheesh. I don't mind that he does these things, but keeping his mouth shut would help me find him more attractive.

So how can I tell him to shut the f*** up already. Otherwise I'm outta here. Like without sounding like an asshole.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm. He's over 21, so he can drink. According to you, he doesn't try to get you to participate. But he does discuss what he does openly and honestly, apparently.

    As for drugs, you don't want him to stop, right? And you've already said he doesn't try to get you to participate. Because your question has no concern over his drug use or pressure from him, and you've chosen to be with him knowing fully about it. Rather, he's just speaking his mind when you'd rather have him "keeping his mouth shut. " That's your big issue: what he wants to talk about. So, you're ethically fine with being with an illegal drug user, you just want to control what he says. (How do you feel about guys to try to control what you say or want you to shut up, btw? )

    Of course you can and should follow nickt's advice to tell him how you feel. But apparently you've chosen to "be silent" instead. So, speak up. If he cares how he makes you feel, he might listen and think about what he says out of respect for your feelings. That's about the best you can hope for.

    You could also choose to quit blaming this guy for being himself; he is what he is and you chose to be his friend w/benefits. You're the one choosing to be with this guy that you find "irritating" "dumb" "stupid" who makes you feel "disgusted. " Maybe you SHOULD just be outta there because he does not sound like the right guy for you, and you wanting to tell anyone to "shut the f*** up already" does make you, not him, sound like an asshole.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Just tell him outright "Listen, I don't find drugs and beer attractive, its fine if you want to do them just don't try to get me into it. But you know what I do find attractive?! "

    If you phrase it in a way that links it to something consequential like attraction then he will get it. Make it sound like he's not interesting you in what he's saying. Use every bit of body language that you can along with a line like the above. If you make it seem like he's boring then you leaving him will be all the more justified.

    Throw in a little bit of sarcasm for effect if you desire.

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    • Yeah whenever he began to talk about those things, I would always be silent, and lose interest in any conversation. But the line with finding things "attractive" is good. Thanks, I will definitely try and use that one.

  • Simply, just ask him to shut the f*** up! Explain that you are not feeling comfortable with those stupid things he keeps talking about! I mean come on! Why he keep mentioning drugs! Because he wants you to get involved, he imagined you having drugs and getting so f*** wild with him in bed! And what the f*** difference between a 21 years girl and 18,19 or 20 years old one! Come on he is acting so silly! Simply just ask him to shut up or get your self out of this! Believe me you won't look like an asshole because he is acting in a way that makes him look worst than an asshole!

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    • Hahaha, but see the thing is I don't NEED to get f***ed up with drugs and alcohol to be a freak (sexually), so its like a win-win, come on now! Lol. But yeah its just not fun to hear him say he has to go "score" some weed or get wasted with his friends.

    • Exactly girl :-). He have to understand that it is not something really CUTE to incest mentioning things that bother you! Try to tell him that directly in a polite way like "you are my friend, I care for you, please stop what you are saying because I started to hate you! " :-)

  • Any guy that does drugs and booze, and tries to get you to do them, is a loser; especially when you say you're nor interested.! You would be better off without him. He doesn't have your best interests at heart. You can really get into a lot of trouble staying with this guy.

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    • Its not that he tries to get me to do it, he just likes to talk about when he does it and his stories about it. Like "oh I got so wasted last night" , etc. Stuff like that. And its just really unattractive to hear about that.

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