What's wrong with me, why do I suck with girls?

I can't get a girlfriend and I'm sick of it, at least not one I'd actually care about. I really am one of those Nice GuyTM types, and, guys who are going to comment and say nice guys can't get girls because we're not jerks, no, we can't get girls because we're passive losers who refuse to chase what we want, so there, no point in saying that anymore. Now, on to my issue, I don't know what to do, I'm stuck in a pit where I like a girl who rejected me, and, I thought I still had a chance, and that if we were really meant to be together we would, but I'm starting to realize that that's just pathetic self-delusion. The thing is, I don't know how to find another girl, even other really attractive girls, I practically have to force myself to be interested in them, and I mean girls that are way better looking than this girl. I don't think I'm ugly, I've had lots of random girls just look at me when I go out, so I'm not insecure about looks (not much anyway). The thing is, I don't know how to flirt, not at all, I suck at it, at least if I actually like the girl, because, apparently, I accidentally flirt with girls that I'm not into (one of my female friends that used to like me said I seem like a bit of a player/flirt), but, as far as I can tell, apparently flirting is joking around (I'm usually making jokes with people). The thing is, I really don't like myself, at all, I feel like I'm not the main character, so to speak, of my own life. And, I try to be nice and non aggressive, because my aggressive side can get very vindictive, and very sadistic very quickly (I had a fucked up childhood before high school). I know I am the Nice GuyTM type, I know that much, as I think like that, I guess. Now I'm depressed, because I thought I might turn things around with the girl I mentioned earlier, but now there's another guy, they're not dating but get along well, so I feel I've already lost. Also, I don't believe in all that "you'll find a girl that loves you" crap.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Bro. I'm gonna tell you this right now. Read this line you wrote : "The thing is, I really don't like myself, at all, I feel like I'm not the main character, so to speak, of my own life." Girls pick up on that. You might not notice but they do. Attractiveness is not just looks, but the confidence you exude in how you carry yourself. You project confidence and all you other qualities will stand out. Look at guys who get a lot of girls. I bet a lot of them aren't the best looking dudes around. I'm sure they're good enough looking, but what gets them girls isn't just their looks. It's their attitude. The attitude that "I don't care if you hang out with me or not, because if you don't, someone else will". You have to be more confident in yourself. You say you are decent enough looking. You are good at joking around. Well my friend you are more than halfway there. Commanding a room is making people laugh and generally being the center of attention while getting other people to enjoy themselves. If you can do that, and project confidence... then you aren't going to have any trouble getting ladies. I promise you that!!!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Dude. Forget chicks. You are a spring chicken. Why focus on girls when you could be doing other stuff? Way more fun stuff?

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  • 'At least not one I'd care about'.

    I didn't even read past this point.

    Your standards are too high.

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    • Too bad you didn't, because you'd see that it wasn't just about standards (I mention at one point that I personally know girls more attractive than the one I like) not to mention, a lot of the girls I met that were into me too seemed either seemed a little off, or we're outright desperate.

    • Show All
    • So, I should lower my standards to include people who are a little less than sane? I mean, I nearly dated a girl once because she seemed depressed and was willing to tell me all her issues despite not knowing me, but, then I learned that she's a major flirt, and learned the real reason as to why she was sad, and backed out.

    • Well, maybe not the insane ones, but, maybe date girls you normally wouldn't think if dating, you could be pleasantly surprised.

      Also, just by dating, for some reason that makes you 100 times more attractive to the opposite sex, therefore if things don't work out, there may be other girls waiting for the chance, you know, since all women are pretty much insane anyway, just avoid the crazy crazies though.

What Guys Said 1

  • The thing I've learnt is that girls aren't everything.

    There's so much more to life than girls. Girls will approach you if you enjoy life, being depressed will just drive them back. So go enjoy life.

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    • I don't know how to help the depression thing, I was clinically depressed.

    • Yeah, but I think the problem is you spend too much time worrying about girls. Don't worry about them. Sure, I think about the sorry state of affairs which is my love life sometimes, but I don't let it get in the way of the things I want to do.

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