Should your BF or GF tell you that they slept with someone who is a mutual friend?

My new BF and I were getting ready to meet his best friend and his wife for dinner, and he told me that two years ago, before his friend started dating her, that he and the wife slept together a handful of times. Nothing serious, just sex for a few months. I was so uncomfortable during the whole dinner and I wished he hadn't told me. These are people we are going to hang with a lot. Was it really necessary for him to tell me? How do I handle this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, that's definitely TMI. He should have kept that information to himself.

    On the other hand, if the issue had come up during dinner (or at any time in your long future of hanging together), at least you had been briefed by your BF.

    I mean, if all three were "in on it" and you got left out, your question would be, "shouldn't he have TOLD me? Instead I was SO embarrassed when I found out... they knew the WHOLE time!"

    So it really depends on the intent of your BF, and the dynamic of the dinner. I think he could've spared you that info for obvious reasons. Perhaps you can ask him why he volunteered that info to you, and discuss how you want to deal with that kind of stuff in the future.

    Let him know where you stand on discussing past partners and romances. The way he deals with the discussion will give you some clues about who he is, what makes him tick, and whether the two of you click : )

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What Guys Said 3

  • He should have said something way earlier if he needed to tell you, not as you are getting ready to meet her. The best rule I find is to share love and sex details like these only when asked.
    Too late to take it back now, he shared it. Just explain to him about what you want and expect.
    I guess telling you was better than having a comment made about them sleeping together and you being blindsided by it.

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    • Thanks Shaggy, you're right. Nice to hear from you - I haven't gotten rid of GAG yet, it just keeps pulling me back in - lol

    • I know what you mean. Sitting around bored and next thing I know, here I am, lol. Always a treat seeing and talking to you.

  • Lol. I don't see a problem with him telling you, the issue is he waited till right before the dinner so it was fresh in your mind. =) Maybe you'll feel better if the wife tells the hubby about your BF.

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    • Exactly, what an idiot. And he didn't have to say it was "just sex" - he could have just said they dated.

    • Maybe he was feeling guilty about you not knowing he slept with her. Kudos for him coming clean if that's the case, but he could have told you sooner =)

  • Yes, he should of told you he slept with a mutual friend
    it makes you wonder why people act this way

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