Is there anything wrong with a 27 year old dating a 17 year old IF age of consent in their state is 17 and it is 100% legal?

27 and a 17 year old granted that they both want the same things, and that it is 100% perfectly legal?

  • Yes, its weird
    62% (26)61% (17)61% (43)Vote
  • No, its fine as long as they want the same things
    38% (16)39% (11)39% (27)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
To all the people who are saying "shes a child its wrong" clearly you know nothing about the girls of this day and age, many girls 15 and younger have had sex, YES i think that that is very wrong, but my point is that if 17 year olds are having sex
and dating college guys, im not entirely convinced that its there's a difference between a 17 year old dating a 21 year old vs a 27 year old, thats what this is about, and also making assumptions like "the guy just wants to take advantage of her"

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I hate how a lot of people are quick to judge others because of the age difference in relationships. If 17 is considered an adult then I think it's perfectly normal for that person to date someone 10 years older. Age is simply a number and it's not that much of a gap. I know some friends whose parents are even 20 years old apart, I doubt 10 will be that major. If you two are happy then it really shouldn't matter. Love is love regardless of age.

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What Girls Said 33

  • It's not the age gap that's concerning.

    It's the fact that a fully grown adult is chasing after an underdeveloped girl. While legally there is no problem, I have to wonder why an adult would go after someone, who may still be going through puberty as well as has an undeveloped frontal lobe. You are technically dating a child and the fact that you do it conciuously is very concerning.

    This is why large gaps don't matter when both people are adults. Both have biologically completed growing and are capable of making fully informed decisions about their life.

    A 17-year-old is not an adult and will have hormones rule her life left and right. She is young and stupid, doesn't realize what situation she's in and you're taking advantage of her naivety.

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    • Lol you sound like you're 50, i don't know what its like over there, but over here women are having sex at 15 some younger, most guys I've seen in that age group are only looking for sex

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    • @ Asker:
      "[...] i can say that I've changed very little, if anything i've become less tolerant of certain things, but my level of maturity hasn't changed nor has my general outlook on life."

      Yes, I can definitely see that. So you basically just admitted that you didn't only not mentally mature much ever since you were a teen, but also even regressed in certain ways.

      That is quite sad, I must say.

    • @sandplanet becoming less tolerant isn't necessarily a regression, and even as a teen i was far too mature for my age and now that im getting older its becoming more normal, although i have to say I've seen a lot of people my age that haven't really changed since highschool, for instance I've always thought the whole party scene was stupid, i then and still now only drink if i want to mellow out or drown my depression

  • It's legal. But still weird. 17 year olds tend to be naive and inexperienced. 27 year olds usually are not. So, it's a lot easier for a 27 year old to lead on an 17 year old, compared to leading on another 27 year old. Honestly, normally I don't go around assuming things, but in this case I'd assume that he's simply using her. Sorry. In my opinion, at your age, you shouldn't be dating someone who's below 20. That's just my opinion, though. I simply don't see what a 27 year old and a 17 year old would have in common, except for maybe a few interests (which isn't that much, honestly). You're on completely different levels.

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  • I'd definitely think less of a 27 year old you wanted to hang out with a 17 year old. It's just bizarre.

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  • I'll admit it's a little weird, but dating younger people is always a little weird to me since I'm a girl and I prefer guys older than me.
    True, she will probably not be much smarter at 20 than she is at 17, but she will be wiser. She will change her outlook on life too. It might break you up to have little in common.

    I mean there are lots pretty, young looking ladies around your age. (Even 7 years younger - 20, sounds ok to me at your age.) Why not go for one of them?
    If you're picking her because you're too afraid to approach ladies your own age, because they are more likely to reject you, your girlfriend might dump you and break your heart even more, once she reaches the age of those ladies herself.
    You have to be aware of the fact that your age is a big attraction factor to her now and she might be dating you because of it.

    So to me, it sounds risky to fall for her. I don't know what else to tell you. =/

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  • This question is rather ridiculous. Imagine you were a guy born and raised somewhere in Africa and were dating a white woman from France. Or you were a goth and your girlfriend a punk. Or you were a down-to-earth teacher and your girlfriend was doing extreme sports for a living. And still you got along really well and oved each other because there were many other things except your culture, looks, jobs etc. that you had in common. People might think you looked weird together, but should that stop you two from being together? No, it shouldn't.
    It is obviously wise that we have an age of consent, but there is also the reason this age of consent is 17 (or 14-18, depending on where you live) and not 25. Some people are very mature as 16-year-olds already, and some don't grow up til they're 35. If two people are on the same level, get along, and no one is using the other one, I don't see the problem.

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  • YES... there IS something wrong with it.
    First off... a person like that is clearly an ephebophiliac...

    He is obviously incapable of getting a girl his own age (because they see there's something wrong with him), so now he's moved on to more vulnerable audience in hopes they will, in their inexperience and naivete give him a chance...

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    • I think the best way for you to look at it is if you had a younger sister and she had a guy who wanted to go out with her - if she was 17 and the guy was 27.
      How would you feel about that?

      (if you don't really have a younger sister this is hard to imagine and your response may still be 'I'd be cool with it', when you clearly know you wouldn't be,,,)

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    • In my case, most of the women my age are looking to settle down, they are looking for guys with a good job, there own place and an education, i haven't even finished my 2 year degree yet, i still live at home and i have a shit job, I've also never had a girlfriend soo i kinda feel like im in the same boat as someone her age

    • Insecurity and the feeling that you're less than what women your age want?
      Makes sense.

  • Why would a 27 year old want a 17 year old in high school?

    I find it disgusting.

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    • Whats the difference between 17 and 18? besides being able to buy p*rn and cigarettes

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    • you're still making assumptions... people who those ages could work together or know eacother through friends/family it happens, its obvious that there are different thought processes due to different experiences in life however my argument remains that that is irrelevant, a 17 year old can have the maturity level of a 35 year old, its possible not very common but possible, the argument of social differences assumes that one of or both parties actually cares what other people think enough that it bothers them, and in my age being at different levels could potentially be beneficial to both parties because the older can help the young avoid cetain mistakes and the young can teach the older some of the things they may have forgotten over time

    • lol Sure, in a perfect world that can happen. However I've had more than enough friends male/female get into heterosexual and homosexual relationships with significantly older people in high school. It isn't an equivalent relationship dynamic to any degree. The age difference automatically gives the older person power. They use their age and economic stability to take advantage of the nativity and lack of life experience of the young person. These relationships are always controlling and manipulative. Any adult that wants a highschooler has problems. They want someone that they can control and groom into their ideal partner. It isn't an equal relationship on any grounds.

      The ideal relationship that you're referring to DOES infarct work with people who are OLDER. Between mid 20s+. These significant age gaps work with older people because they become more equivalent socially, economically, and mentally.

  • On one hand you've got a young girl most likely in high school, living at home, can't even vote, can't do things legally without parental consent, is just learning to drive, has experienced little outside of high school, and her prefrontal cortex (responsible for decision making) isn't fully developed.

    Then you've got a full grown man, has been out of high school for nearly a decade, lives on his own, is a legal adult and has been for 9 years, is old enough to be married with young kids, old enough to drink (and has been for six years) and his body and mind (especially the prefrontal cortex) are 100% developed.

    I don't think its okay. At all. They are in astronomically different places in their lives. Legal or not, its unwise and yes I'll question the older person's motives.

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    • And just because 15 year olds are having sex doesn't make it okay? You sound very immature. I can understand why you want young naive girls.

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    • One dad or brother or uncle is going to knock your teeth out.

    • Actually im 27, and for the record she is pursing me lol, im just debating whether or not i should go for it

  • In Florida it's legal to date up to 25 when you're 16 I believe but if you have sex the parents can still have you thrown in jail and convict you of statutory rape. It's still disgusting to practically be 30 and prying on highschool girls. I've never seen a guy who wasn't a dweeb or a loser be so old and date skmeone so young.

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    • I read about it its all messed up sounding but the age of consent is 18, from what i read someone 24 or younger can have sex with a 16 year old without it being illegal, doesn't really make much sense to me, but just because you've never seen something doesn't mean it doesn't exist, js

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    • I graduated highschool at 17 I'm 5 credits away from having my college degree.
      If you didn't feel like it wasn't weird at all you wouldn't be so defensive.

    • Its not that i dont i just dont see how you can say that its weird when you're relationship isn't that much different, and what age you graduated at is irrelevant, my whole point there was that someone your age COULD be in highschool that there are many people that age in highschool. I honestly can't say why i find it to be weird though lol

  • heck, in japan it's legal for a 40 year old man to date a 13 year old girl as long as she and her parents are ok with it. money talks.

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  • As long as its a mature and loving relationship - my parents are 11 years apart, and my friend is dating someone 8 years older and they've been going strong for 4 years now and will probably get married someday. People are way too judgmental this day and age, and I think love comes in all shapes and sizes so as long as a couple are well-suited and care for, trust and respect each other all's good :)

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  • If it's legal I would say it's really up to the 17 year old. I mean others may think it's wrong but who are we to tell someone they can't be with someone they have such strong feelings for. I wouldn't go for someone that much older but to each his own

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  • If you are both willing, there is nothing legally wrong with it. I'd personally suggest dating someone your age, but it's your life & your choice. Good luck.

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  • It's legal so it's okay like if you are both fine with it then whatever it's not my business and not my place to say if that's wrong but usually untill the younger person is over 20 people then anything more than 2 years apart seems kind of wrong and creepy and disgusting but that's how most people kind of see it. But if you guys really like each other and are okay with what people will think and her parents are cool with it then go ahead. Love is love

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  • I personally find it a little strange, but if I knew somebody in that situation I would be fine with it. If the age gap got much bigger, then I would be concerned.

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    • I have seen many people in my family and in the world with over 20 years differents in age

  • It does come off as slightly odd, but as long as its legal then I can't see a problem. Age is just a number but people are born into a society where age means way too much.

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  • In my state they can date as long as sex isn't involved. In my state if the person is 19, they can only sleep with 16+ . If someone is 18 or younger , their sexual partner has to be between 12 and 16 or else it's considered sexual abuse. An adult is 19 in Alabama, here the adult can not be any more than 2 years older so, yes it's illegal.

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    • Actually i just read into it, if one person is 16 and the other is older then it is 100% legal http://www.sexlaws.org/questions/Alabama

    • I guess I was a bit confused on that one haha , sorry about that. So, let me revise that and say, it's legal as long as the person is over 16 and the adult is not a teacher , from my understanding.

    • Right as long as they dont have authority over the person, such as a teacher or manager

  • Well, that's the age my mom and dad were, respectively, when they met, soooo... yeah, kinda weird, but it worked out in the end. I personally wouldn't date a guy 10 years older than me at this point in life (I'm 17, too), but you guys have the right to do whatever the hell you wish as long as there's mutual consent.

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  • I think so. Like your a grown man, why are you attracted to children.

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    • If you can legally have sex you're an adult in my eyes, but i often like to argue that its more based on maturity I've met some 40 year old children before

    • Not really I think the older you get the different your sexual taste goes. Like when I was 16 I liked 16 year olds. When I was 23 I liked 23 years olds. My dad was the same way. I just think that's weird and creepy. 16 is not an adult by any means. I don't even count 18 as an adult. Honestly it junk you shouldn't legally be an adult until you 21

    • Everyone is different, I've always liked women 2 or 3 years younger than me, the fact of the matter is that most single lonely men wouldn't turn down an attractive 18 legal chick if she came onto them

  • That's strange but it is legal so its whatever to me

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  • It's not the fact that she's 17 it's the fact that when people ask how you met, what are you going to tell them. I get it the age of consent is 17 in your area but even if you are looking for a girl no 27 year old guy deliberately seeks out a teenage girl with good intentions in mind

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    • Well i was trying to make it sound like it was about me lol, but i guess its too late for that now, we are actually co-workers

  • I dated a 17 year old too and I'm in my 20 's. In my state it's also legal. The maturity differences do damage the relationship though. He just wasn't ready of mature enough to have the same views as me. And we would always fight and clash. But I hope for you it works out. I really do

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  • Well for me, age is not just a number. A 17 year old and 27 year old are at two very different stages in life.

    I think at so young as 17, it's too big of an age gap. I would definitely question, as I'm sure most other people would, why a 27 year old is going after a 17 year old.

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    • Also, because I read your little 'hostilities' towards some of the other girls that posted. Medically, a 17 year old's brain is not fully developed. Other girls know this because it's a medical fact. They're not trying to demonize you, they are explaining facts to you. Please stop being so hostile if you're asking for opinions, as that's what people are giving you. Thanks.

    • Apparently it's acceptable for him liking her because girls are already having sex at 15.. That's what is uploaded description says. I honestly wouldn't waste your breath on him.

    • Excellent reading skills Broken

  • If you go to california you are fucking screwed as hell.

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  • Its iligal. She is 17 and according to the law she isn't able to make those kind of desisions for herself yet. Even though she says you want the same thing. If somebody goes to the police you have nothing and are considered a pedofile. If i were you i would wait until she was 18 because age difference isn't that big of a deal when nobody is underage. Good luck!

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    • Lol, clearly you didn't read the post, in my state 17 is the legal age, in some states its 16, but i find that to be a bit sketchy

    • Pedophilia is the attraction to prepubescent children. How prepubescent do you think a 17 year old is? Each state sets its own age limits on what is the age of consent and Asker stated that it is 17 in his state. So has legal right to make her own decisions on sex and no one else can can do anything about it. I am more concerned about the askers ability to make intelligent decisions about sexual partners.

  • I'm 17 (turning 18 this year) and I'm a junior in college. Most of my friends are in that 21-27 age range (some outliers like one 33 yr old guy) so for me it's not weird. But if she was in high school it may be a little weird

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  • A 27 year old and a 17 year old are in different places in life. Even if it's legal and there is consent, I don't agree with it. I have nothing against age differences since I am a 28 year old into a 39 year old but that's different.

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    • well there are some pretty big differences in the life of a 28 year old vs that of a 39 year old as well, couldnt one argue that it is simply a matter of maturity?

  • Just because the age of consent is 17 it doesn't mean it's legal... where I live, 16 is the age of consent, but that only means that 16-17 yr olds can have sex with each other- anyone 21 and older has to wait for the person to be 18. So make sure you check up on all the laws before doing anything.

    The reason a 17 and 20 year old dating is okay is because the brain is still developing until your early 20s. A 17 year old's brain is not fully developed. A 27 year old's is.

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  • 17 is still a child, 27 is well into adulthood. There's a reason why there's legalities about age

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    • Thats kind of contradictory considering that legally a 17 year old could be having sex with a 40 year old, i actually know a few 18 year olds that are dating guys in there 30s

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    • 17 isn't not a child. At that age people are well old enough to make choice for themselves. I mean in about a year she can legally move out of her parent's house and that if she can't already do it now.

    • Gross.

  • Well yeah there big different gap as long you don't care your taking advantage of es other it's ok and illegal but well

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 21

  • 17 is am age of consent but people should still be cautious of anyone below 18 for a few reasons.

    Even though she can "have sex" at a low age in some states if the parents don't like it, they can still find other ways to take action against the older person involved. The case is usually a guy liking a younger girl so I'll use the guy as an example here.

    So let's assume everything's cool with a 17 year old girl and a 27 year old guy. You'll have some dilemmas. Within the relationship, parents aside, the girl is most likely wanna go to college. The guy can potentially become a factor in limiting her choices in schools. If she wants to transfer to a school for a specific major because a school has a good reputation, the relationship will hit a crossroads of her pursuing a career, or him keeping her where she is a limiting her. This is the usual case excluding all the "guy wants girl for sex" stuff.

    Now... the parents are where it can get really ugly! Your typical father will be very pissed at such a situation and this leaves a possibility of legal action in some extreme cases. Most people will say "Oh... she's of legal age to have sex!" Well,,, she may be but if the father tells her daughter she's not allowed to hang out with him and she does, that guy can easily be brought up on kidnapping charges. All it takes is her getting in the car with him and that's it. So this don't even have to go near sex for it to be an issue.

    Honestly, regardless of the age of consent, it's not worth it for older guys to be dating teens. Let teens date teens.

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    • Thats assuming she tells her parents, im pretty sure most parents dont even meet the boyfriends of girls out here for the most part, and she has her own car so i likely wouldn't be picking her up for anything anyways

  • Legally there is nothing wrong, going by the information you posted.

    Other than that. It's wrong. A 27 year old and 17 year old will not have enough in common to build a relationship off of. And this comes down to maturity and life experience.

    A guy who does this is likely afraid of women their own age. Most likely because they lack the social skills to attract one and get them interested. So he will therefore be rejected. Embedding the fear even more. = No confidence

    Young girls are more likely to not reject him. Because they will be infatuated with the whole "older guy" liking them. This generally lasts a few months. With a bit of time she will realize he's a loser. Then dump him.

    He's mature enough to know better than to date a kid.
    But she is not mature enough (yet) to realize the problems with this.

    So he is basically preying on children, to give himself an ego boost in a very warped way.

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  • I voted B. There's no problem legally, and also its fine if they understand each other. But the age difference combined with the girl's age (she's too young) makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to sustain this relationship. A 27 year old woman dating a 37 year old doesn't seem to be a problem, but a 17 year old and a 27 year old would find it pretty difficult because even though they may want the same things in general, a lot of things would mismatch between them.

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  • Its a maturity thing. She probably has no real idea what she wants and even if she says she does she probably doesn't. Anyway its extremely weird for a grown adult to date a high schooler or a girl of high school age and in many places you would be considered legally a pedofile. Just think about it, if you were 17 would you date her when she was 7? Hopefully not. Then again my parents are married and 10 years apart so it can work. I would just wait until she is at least 18. Using something you think is wrong (young kids having sex) to say why you are right is a weak argument.

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  • Well, legality and morality are often times not one in the same, unfortunately.

    I'm an open-minded person and everything, but 27 and 17 are two VERY different stages in life, and it just seems a little weird to me.

    To each his own though, and if it makes both people happy then I wouldn't want to stand in their way.

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  • Just dating no, long term yes. Need to fine someone closer your age because there are different thing going on in your life close to 30 than close to 20. A lot of people say age dosent matter, well let me ask you this, if age doesn't matter then why do older people have there shit together and younger ones don't. Because they have live a lifetime of mistakes and learned from them. I think a goo rule of thumb is 3 years, and not 19 and 16 more like 25 to 28 to 31 to 34 to 37 to 40<<<< you can be any age and be with someone within the age to your left or your right.

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  • A lot of people will give you sh! t. Get used to it if you are going to do this.

    I personally wouldn't go looking for a girl that age, but if somehow there would be a reallly amazing click. Then I would at least want to hang out with her more. Because connections like that are hard to come by.

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  • The age difference is gonna come up often. You've had plenty of life experiences that she hasn't had yet. My last gf was 7 years younger and that eventually helped break us up

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  • Just because you have sex, doesn't make you mature.
    Anyways, it is weird. Socially it's wrong and some cases morally wrong. But if it's legally ok, what does it matter? They'll deal with their choices later in life

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  • as long as it's legal it's ok

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  • I would never do it because usually girls that age are immature and drama Queens in my experience lol.

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  • You do know eventually she'll go to college and you'll be reduced to dust right?

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    • meh maybe, i mean, women from around here (at least in my age group) dont seem to care about looks as much as they do ambition and money, women that age are still into that sorta thing so factor in that im a decent looking guy and that I'm more well endowed than most guys and i might have a strong enough foothold to prevent that, who knows lol

  • It's a little peado.

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  • The age difference seems a little on the high side especially if she's at school.

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  • Yes, it is as weird as this...

    http://i.imgur.com/hS81JM3.gif

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  • No, nothing wrong with it

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  • Not at all bro go for it.

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  • Still gross, she is at a much different part of life right now, and has no idea what this might do to her life. do you think her parents would think yes my daughter has found a successful guy? or would they say my daughter is attracted to an older man who could be a creep. whether you are or not the family will be against you. and if he does start anything with you or already has, she is probably using you

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    • As i said in some of the other posts, most of the 16-18 year olds in my area have dated college guys in there 20s, so i dont see how someone my age wouldn't be better granted that im a lot more mature than someone that age, i see now that where i messed up was not including that we are co-workers and that im not just going around highschools picking up chicks in a white van marked "free candy"

  • I'd just be friends with her until she hit 18 then start dating even though it's allgood legal just seems better that way. But I know where you are coming from man it's legal here too. I've had some fine 16 year old girls throw themselves at me it's hard to resist but some how I do just LOL. Consent is 16 here!

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    • Lol i gotcha, she actually turns 18 in less than 5 months its just that thats a lot of time for her to find someone else and I've honestly never had a girlfriend sooo id prefer someone less experienced

    • But like you can be very good friends and let her know that you're keen but you want to wait till she's 18 it's less than 5 months I'm sure she will be cool with that. Like you guys can still hang out talk go movies etc but lay of the kissing touching cuddling etc for a few months. She will probably think you're a great nice guy for doing that too. Might end up to your advantage in the long run as she will see you really like her and it's not just sex your after. If she's always with you talking to you etc no room or time for another guy. Got it on lock man. That's how you do it ! Best of luck. Those months will fly by in no time too.

  • older women shame you cause theyre jealous and they know theyre not as hot as they were. dont worry about it

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    • @MaskedSanity Reported for calling me a moron

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    • Ok you know what I won't surrender ok?

    • @Nick_Chevalier Well you kinda are

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