How to make him loose fear of commitment?

I've been talking to this guy, and he seems afraid of relationships, i asked him about it he said that he doesn't want a girl to come and take away his happiness, I mean something must have happened to his previous relationship that makes him feel that way. How do i make him loose that fear?


Most Helpful Girl

  • That's not something you can change. This is something only he can change, and with time. Especially if he had a bad experience. Don't force him or pressure him. That will only make him want to commit even less. Also, you should probably not get into something casual with him either (like a friends with benefits type of thing). He will never want to commit to you if you give him all the perks of being in a relationship (intimacy, sex etc) without the actual commitment. Like, why would he want to pay for the ice cream if he can get it for free, you know?

    • I completly agree... but i was thinking giving him more of a kissing and talking thing, but no sex or no touching, if we kiss he'll know what to expect, but won't be able to have... get it?

    • Well, I wouldn't personally even kiss him. I would let him know I'm interested, yes, but I wouldn't do anything with him until he's ready. You never know, an innocent kiss can easily lead to something more, even if you think you can control yourself. That's why you might be better off not doing anything with him.


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What Guys Said 2

  • To clarify easier for you, he just simply said "NO" and friendzoned you. It is obvious he still longing the pain with his previous relationship. So, respect his decision and just keep being friends with him (if you want). Who knows eventually he will accept you... You cannot force annyone to change, only him alone can do that.

  • He said you the reason. Can you see he didn't just say "no". There a whole world between a polite "no" and this kind of semi-answer.

    I've also had terrible experience in my emotional life (not only related to girls) and I don't think I'm ready yet to let a girl come in my life. I think if the opportunity shows up and if I'm not interested I would politely decline first finding and excuse then make it a clear no (and I just did 3 days ago). But if I was interested, if I know that at some point I would like to be closer to the girl I will just say "not yet" or "I'm not looking for one".

    The only thing I'm sure it is that nobody want to be alone.

    • am i understanding you? if you were interested you would say "not yet"?

    • I would give an hint about the reason.

What Girls Said 1

  • In my opinion you can't change the way a guy thinks or feels. Just be there for him if he needs you and be yourself. That should bring him happiness instead of taking it away