Am I overreacting to his response when my friend/coworker passed away?

I met a guy online. We've been on 3 dates, over drinks, talk for hours. Before the 2nd date, my coworker/friend passed away suddenly. I didn't tell him then, but I was little off initially until I had a couple of drinks.

The next day I let him know why I was a bit off at first... Let him know my friend had a stroke, was in a coma, and had passed away the day before. And that his funeral was likely Saturday. He replied with a sympathetic and thoughtful response.

The next day, he texts me and asks how I am doing... I tell him sorry if I've been MIA, and that I've just been "oh well you know". And he wrote back no worries. On Saturday, he texts me something similar. I had been to the funeral but didn't bring it up, and just responded like normal.

I couldn't meet with him for 1.5 wk as I was really busy with work and studies. This was our 3rd date and he had a really bad headache but didn't want to cancel as he wanted to see me. He mentions he thought he did "something wrong" due to the delay in meeting again. I let him know, no definitely, but that I was behind in my studies due to my friend passing away. And he just looked at me blankly? A moment later, not sure how it came up, he mentions his mother passed away when he was young (and he thought he had told me that already).

I don't know if I'm overreacting, but I thought it was interesting he turned something that was about me (i. e., my grief) into something about him again... He could have at least squeezed my hand... Or maybe he just doesn't know how to deal with death, esp. if his mom had passed while he was so young...


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What Girls Said 1

  • If I had to guess, I would say he doesn't know how to deal with grief (at least someone else's). I'm the same way when people I just met are going through a hard time. I get really awkward and don't know how to help them. If you guys had been dating longer, then I think it might of went differently. I would say give him another chance! Hope this helps!

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