Girl I have a crush on began to date someone and now I'm just confused?

So long story but after my 4 year relationship ended poorly I was devastated. I ended up making a friend with this girl, she was going through some stuff too and we just hit it off, it wasn't really romantic at all but as the months passed she became someone special to me not just a friend but someone I really care for. She lives kind of far from me so most of our interaction is in texts or Skype (we talk pretty extensively daily) She told me many times she doesn't like me like that but also said she thinks of me like her dad, or I remind her of her dad (I was told that was a good sign, so any insight on that would be great too). She also flirts with me a lot so signals never really matched her words.

Well since my engagement fell apart my life just was crap, in the past couple months I began to get my life back together, for myself but also to try to be the kind of guy I know she deserves.

I was hoping once I got my crap together I would make a move but I was too late. She told me today she wants to start dating this guy she met not long ago, I know of him and he seems like a nice guy and the friend part in me is happy for her. However the other part is furious, at myself for waiting to try to make things "perfect" before making a serious move, at her for not waiting (which yes is totally irrational), but mostly at myself for having wasted so much time in the dumps.

Anyways I'm not even sure what I'm expecting for answers. Should I distance myself from her now? Do I have to make a choice between being a friend and liking her? Is this a total lost cause? It is obvious I'm in the friend zone but I really thought if I got my crap together that could have changed as she often would drop hints that she liked me too.

Thanks for any advice, insight and ideas. Sorry for the wall of text as well.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Be her friend continue liking her but date or talk to other girl's. Have you told her how you feel?

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    • I have but not directly, like I said I have a lot I need to work on in my own life. But I don't think a promise for better things to come can justify asking someone to wait. It's just sad cause she really is an amazing woman, I guess my timing is just bad as usual.

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