Does sex change things?

Once you have sex with a person that you're dating or talking to does it change things? Will the guy start acting different? And why?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know, what do you think?

    Do you think once you invite someone to sleep over your house for the night, it changes things? What if they borrow money from you and pay you back? What if you start living together? What if you start splitting expenses? What if you share a joint checking account? What if you get hurt and have to take off work for 1-2 months and stay home to recover, and they're right there next to you, helping you out? What if you're going through a hard emotional time because you have $2,000 a month payments to make on your student loans but are without a job for the 6th month in a row and thinking about killing yourself, and you confide in them, and they listen to your problems and issues for 2-3 months, really taking the time to understand you and helping you not kill yourself and get out of depression? Does that change things?

    I forget where I read this from, but some therapist recently said, "People in America feel more comfortable sharing their deepest sexual desires and interests with strangers, but are more terrified of the idea that strangers know less intimate details about them, such as their annual income, or net worth, or objective indicators of their social status and ranking in our society."

    With that said, it's a bit ironic, but "sex" is actually the "stepping stone" for a genuine relationship beyond a mere friendship. Think about it - a relationship is built on trust. You're "closer" and "more connected" to someone, the more you feel that you can trust them, and feel "safe" opening up and "being yourself" with them "knowing" and feeling "secure" in that this person will not "judge you" and will "accept you for who you are completely." That's why, when people that are close to us die, lawyers sue for "loss of society."

    If you don't feel comfortable enough to be your sexual self with someone, then how on earth can you feel comfortable enough to really let someone in on the more personal aspects of who you are?

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What Guys Said 5

  • It does change things for sure - it depends on which way and that's how nature intended it :-)

    In my case I grow fonder and there are cases where one goes the other way. Depends on various factors

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  • In my experience being around my guy friends it greatly varies on how the relationship started and/or what the guy is looking for. If you started off casual and it slowly grew I found that our feelings didn't change much- but if it started as a "formal relationship" (as the kind where you always worry about saying the wrong thing) then stuff can change. Its also a bit of give and take. Ill even admit that chasing the affection of a girl is a thrill and once you get there you can catch yourself to be more complacent then you could anticipate. So if you're worried about loosing him a possible option would be to keep him chasing.

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    • How do you keep him chasing?

    • lead him on a little, deny him sex every now and then. tease him! but never allude to seeing other guys. its a recipe for trouble. don't fall head over heels every time you hear from him or see him but be friendly and a little flirtatious. to know that he hasn't actually caught you could drive him wild, i know thats how id feel

  • sex changes a lot. it could be extreme or minute but it does change something or many things.

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  • in my community... most guys just want to hit it and quit it.. soooo. thats just where i live though. i've not seen a guy i'd date if i was a girl cuz they're just in it for the sex, such assholes. so many.

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  • It depends on the person. I bond deeply through sex, so it would change things for me. Some people don't bond through sex at all, so it might not change anything for them.

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    • Idk. I recently was intimate with a guy and afterwards he seems to be busy now. Before we had sex he would text me all through out the day. The past 2 days after I haven't heard from him much. I try not to think the worst but my fears flood my thoughts. I asked him was something wrong. He told me that he's just had a lot on his mind lately and that he's been busy. He said he was sorry for not talking much but he's been thinking about me. I'm really trying to stay positive but I don't know my fears have me thinking that maybe he just wanted to have sex with me and maybe he doesn't really like me just like everyone else. I don't know what to believe =/

    • Show All
    • He could be busy, but he should at least be putting in SOME effort, even if it is just texting you to see how you are. Some men aren't good at handling their emotions, and just run anytime the feelings start to get too strong. Society teaches men to hide their emotions to the point, that some men start to fear emotions. There are all sorts of reasons, but he needs to be able and willing to contribute to the relationship, in some form. I wouldn't over think this. Either he starts putting in a greater effort, or you need to move on.

    • I see. I understand. You're right =/

What Girls Said 2

  • It depends how close you are with this person and if you think you rushed things. So if you feel that you both weren't ready for sex then you might start acting a bit different and emotional. Especially if only one you was ready. You might start acting a bit more edgy with one another.
    On the other hand if you were both ready and happy with doing it with each other and felt emotionally and physically ready then you might come closer.
    If the boy/girl is a dick and only wants sex... then they will start acting different and find any and every reason to argue so you grow apart. they might start acting off with you and then maybe end it.
    But if you do it with the right girl or guy then it should make things better. And if you waited long enough to know that you both truly care for each other and not just the sexual side of things.

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  • That depends on the person. Some people view sex as nothing more than pleasure so it wouldn't change for them.

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