Could you date someone who wouldn't have sex with you?

I got saved a while ago and that is my basis for not wanting to pursue anything sexual. But could you date someone knowing they wouldn't have sex with you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sex isn't dirty or immoral. If you're intending to follow the lessons of scripture, your dating should be towards finding a husband, so your goal would be to enter into a life long commitment, and have sex. As long as you aren't just trying to soak up attention and free stuff from a stream of guys lured in by the prospect of having sex with you, only to have them rebuked by you once they make a move, when you never intended to pursue marriage with them, you should feel no guilt, and I think you'll be surprised how many guys are totally cool with it.

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    • That's part of my thought process. I'm not a virgin, but now I'd rather wait until I've found the man I'll spend the rest of my life with. I was sexually assaulted as a child and I know that I have hangups on this topic.

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    • Those hangups will continue until you confront the fact that it's something that happened to you, and see that it's not something that has to affect who you are and what you can do.

      If you want to find a man who wants the same things you do, I'd suggest:
      1 be as modest as possible and do not date at all until you are ready to get married
      2 when you are ready, tell your friends and family of your intentions
      3 never date outside your extended social circle (friends of friends or friends of family, no internet dating sites)
      4 seek out and rely on the wisdom of people who have been married for a long time

      I hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck.

    • Thank you.

What Guys Said 8

  • When I was in my teens I did it.

    For me it was a mistake. Had I been more experienced I wouldn't have done it.

    It has to be something you both would have chosen on your own.

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  • Me no I wouldn't

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  • No. It would mean our relationship would never develop into something deeper.

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  • inappropriate question. to me atleast. i dont date girls to have sex.. sounds a little silly to me to date someone to have sex. or am i somehow unable to 'understand' the question correctly?(do answer)

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    • Yeah I think that you are. I'm not implying that guys only date girls to have sex with them, but for some guys it's a staple in a relationship. I do have my reasons, but I'd like to know how important that is to most guys who are pursuing dating a girl.

  • I could not.

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    • May I ask why?

    • I'm not going to become celibate because of another's choice. That's great if that's what she wants, but it's not for me.

    • Understandable. Thanks!

  • Entire life No never
    But untill marriage or limit then yeah

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  • No fawkin way

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  • Well no. If you date, it usually leads to marriage. Marriages have sex in them.

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    • Marriages do. Key word there is marriage.

What Girls Said 6

  • I could, me and my bf are both waiting for marriage so we don't even kiss :)

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  • No I would not.

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  • Absolutely not. The guy I have a thing for actually, he and his girlfriend don't have sex and it's not for any religious belief reasons. I feel soooooooooooo bad for him, but I'm a little above helping him out while he still has a girlfriend.

    When they break up though, he has my number.

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  • I waited until I was married. 23 years. If someone really loves you for you and not for the sex then they will definitely wait for you.

    A lot of times sex is what keeps someone in a relationship and when the sex gets old and the spice is gone the relationship goes south.

    So to answer your question, if I was in that position then yes I could wait.

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  • Date a Christian guy who also believes in waiting till marriage.

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  • Nope. Even though sex is not the most important aspect to the relationship, it is ONE of the important parts of it. I want to be able to become intimate with my partner. If sex is not part of their equation, then they are no longer in mines.

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