Should you're SO be allowed full access to you're phone/computer? What are your thoughts?

My girlfriend gets angry at me because I have a lock on my phone and I don't like her going through it. We are both 21and of course I could cheat, but I'm obviously not going to. I just like my privacy.

What are your thoughts on this?

  • SO should have full access
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  • Only to computer
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  • Only to phone
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  • No access
    67% (6)80% (8)74% (14)Vote
  • Other
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The fact that you have the lock is what's bothering her. If you don't have anything to hide, why do you need the lock? That kind of mentality.

    I don't want my boyfriend snooping through my stuff and he's the same. But we don't have locks on our phones. We have locks on our computers but that's for school purposes and we know each other's passwords. We don't have passwords for social media sites though.

    It's called trust and respect. The lock implies you neither trust or respect her. That's her thinking behind being upset. Not that she actually wants to snoop. I mean, now she does because to her you obviously have something to hide, but if you'd never had the lock in the first place she probably never would have thought to snoop through your device.

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    • I do get that, but the lock is more to stop my brother and/or room mates who feel the need to post random Facebook statuses or message my mother inappropriate things.

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    • I tried to. I got yelled at. Then we had sex. She's over it now, I was just curious what people thought.

    • Actually, that she's annoyed at the lock implies that she doesn't trust or respect him.

What Girls Said 6

  • A successful relationship is completely bare-boned based off of trust, honesty, and commitment. If I was in a relationship at the moment, I would have complete trust in my SO as if I didn't I wouldn't be in a relationship in the first place.

    His phone is his business, my phone is my business. If he invites me to look at something, or to text someone for him, then I will do just as he asks... vise versa. If he really wanted to know what was on my phone, I would just show him, since I would have nothing to hide. No, he is not allowed to go through my phone just on a whim randomly. I have personal stuff on there, and it's for me only. Same goes for computer. Although I don't store personal stuff on my laptop - you still get the point.

    Stand up for yourself. She isn't allowed to snoop through your texts/phone in general or computer without your permission. Period. Married or not. GF/BF or not.

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  • I think if you can't trust your SO then why be in a relationship with them.

    Sure you may not have anything to hide, but trust is important to any relationship.

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  • Maybe there is a reason, like she's been cheated on before? Or maybe she wants to find out information about you, like what you want for your birthday/holiday? Maybe you could say something like "I really care about you, so I would like to know why looking through my phone is so important to you and maybe I'll consider it depending on the reason." (Maybe not so bluntly though, unless she really hates sugar-coating/beating around the bush).
    I don't believe she should be given full access; you have a right to some privacy, but maybe you could if you don't necessarily have anything to hide. You could clear browser/search/download history, empty the cache, clear cookies and other site data, log out of accounts, delete photos or videos, etc. if you don't want her to see anything of significance.
    I hope everything goes well for you :)

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  • Absolutely not. Privacy is your sovereign right & she clearly cannot appreciate that. Does she let you look at her phone?

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  • Whatever you're comfortable with. I'd allow my SO full access to snoop through my stuff.

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  • It's up to both individuals how much they are comfortable with sharing. I'd be like you though. I wouldn't really want anyone going through all my stuff. I don't have anything to hide but if I want them to know something then I'll tell them or show them myself.

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What Guys Said 6

  • What a crock. Girls don't want to snoop but the fact you lock bugs them. Every girl is going to check your phone at some point, but heaven forbid a guy ever checks her phone or handbag. How dare you? etc etc lol. Total hypocrisy. They can do it because they can't help themselves and feel insecure, if Men do it they don't trust their partners or respect their privacy. Don't get me wrong, they can look at my stuff and because I have nothing to hide I probably won't make a deal out of it, but I just think it's crazy the reaction from girls if a guy does the same thing to them.

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  • Having a lock on your phone is common sense. Your phone has so much info nowadays that not having a lock on it is quite risky, I mean if you lose it someone has at the very least your contacts and at the very most your contacts, your email, your bank, credit card and personal info (mobile wallets included), your messages, your call history, your location history, your work and home address (personal assistants for help with traffic will have these if you use them), your pictures and videos, your 2 factor authentication device for logging into your accounts from elsewhere and a bunch of other junk (schedule etc). It's just common sense to have a lock on your phone and even better to have a tracking and a remote wipe capability set up.

    As far as the computer, same thing. Everything is digital now, way too much info should it be lost or stolen.

    Now would I be ok with my future wife being able to go into my phone? Depends on the situation, if there's info about a surprise party for her on it then her being able to see it defeats the purpose so no lol. But under normal circumstances sure I got nothing to hide from her cause after all we're married. That doesn't mean that I won't have a lock on my phone just that I'd be willing to share with her how to unlock the phone. Same with the computer.

    That being said, it's up to you if you're gonna share or not share and the consequences with each choice will be felt by you. Don't remove the lock though cause again if it's lost or stolen you are screwed. And set up a remote wipe capability at least.

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  • Up to a certain point it's acceptable to look at your things. IE you go to the bathroom and she just looks at the news feed. Maybe you could show her proof while still maintaining privacy like skim messages together, but no, privacy is privacy

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  • as long as you understand that even now your life is an open book for the universe, i don't see why it would matter at all.

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  • If I had a girlfriend, no. There are just sides of myself that i wouldn't want any gf of mine seeing.

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  • It's up to the individual if they want to or not but the girlfriend or boyfriend shouldn't expect to be able to see the other persons computer and phone

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