When a guy says he's "too busy to commit"?

Dating this guy a month and a bit months.. the other day he was asking me where he stands because it disn't seem like I liked him anymore.. i replied telling him I'm not sure why it matters because when I was interested, he wasn't bothered.
I got no reply..
I text him earlier basically saying he needs to make a decision about what he wants..
He replied telling me works got mega busy and that although he thinks I'm a lovely girl, he doesn't think he can commit.. he then said he may be wrong but he doesn't wanna mess me around

Are guys black and white? Is this a genuine reason or do you reckon there's something else? Be brutal, I need it!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, I think he's not even sure you like him... After he asked where he stands it kinda sounded like you were brushing him off and didn't really like him anymore, or you're upset with him at least. Then if your conversation moves to commitment, of course the answer's not going to be that favorable. He's not even sure you still like him. Also, you wanted honesty so... It really sounded to me like your response to him was a passive aggressive dig. "I replied telling him I'm not sure why it matters because when I was interested, he wasn't bothered". Maybe he was reaching out to you then, and with the way you shut him down... he's not going to deal with that.

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    • I agree, I didn't handle it well when he asked where he stood, I guess I was trying to protect myself.. didn't wanna tell him I liked him only for him to do this! Any point replying to his earlier text saying it's a shame cos I liked him? Or that just gonna creep him out?

    • Yeah, if you do like him, might as well give it a shot. He won't think it's creepy. He may be a bit confused though, but at least once he knows you really do like him and wanted something more with him, then maybe his answer might change. I would say exactly what you wrote, and then leave the ball in his court. If he continues with his "I'm really busy, etc." then I'd just accept that. It might or might not be true, but the result is the same.

What Guys Said 3

  • He's a melodramatic pussy and he probably just doesn't wanna straight up say "I don't like you anymore" so he's saying he's too busy. You think that every successful couple just cuts off time for one another just because they're "busy"?

    LIFE is busy. The whole thing. It's the lamest excuse ever.

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  • It means, it's probably time to move on

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  • If you're willing to put up with him being busy, tell him that. If he just makes up more excuses then there's probably something else.

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What Girls Said 3

  • From experience, most guys who use the "I don't want to commit" line just say that as a excuse or cover up for the truth that they just don't want to commit to you. It's happened several times where I've been told that only to find out they got a girlfriend a few months later or starting liking someone romantically within a few weeks... I say move on and don't cling onto any hope.

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    • It's so frustrating right! I'd almost prefer it if they were like 'I don't actually like you' rather than pretend they're busy! I think he probably likes someone else in all honesty, he backed off a bit a couple of weeks ago, should have got the hint! X

    • I'm sorry girl :'( My heart is sore for you... I know what it feels like. It is so sad and frustrating but it gets better with time ok? So just be good to yourself and try to shift your attention to something else.

  • There's really no way to tell but either way it's a no, so move on.

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  • to me it sounds like he is hurt and is saying what he told you because his ego is hurt.
    It doesn't make sense that he told you he was too busy to commit after he asked you where he stood with you.
    Thats an important factor in this equation.
    So yeah in my opinion he's hiding his real emotions becuase he asked you that then you sort of blew him off.
    Hopefully its salvageable. Id just give him a little space and when he does call be nice and let him know you like him.

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