Girls: If a guy asks you out and you ask for time to think about it or say no, and he starts chasing after someone else... do you get jealous?

I've always heard that girls want what they can't have. I'm in a situation where I've asked my best friend out, and well it's been a bit of time (she asked for some time to think about it). I'm starting to lose interest in her from an intimate sense and want to move on and look elsewhere... a few of my girl friends are saying that it's a good thing becasue either a) I'll let my intimate feelings for her subside, or b) she'll get jealous and eventually have to give up the hard to get playbook and come clean.

I was just wondering what your thoughts are.


Most Helpful Girl

  • most of the time no but sometimes yeah. it is a little unnerving for a girl to turn someone down and they immediatly start chasing someone else.


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What Girls Said 6

  • I would think you were a jerk because you don't respect my desire to think and contemplate before I date you and would never consider dating you again.

    • What is an appropriate amount of time to give her to think about things? A few days? A few weeks? A month or two?

    • a few weeks at least.

  • How old is she? She's still playing hard-to-get games?

    If you are already losing interest before you even start going out, maybe she's just not the right person for you.

    • She's 31... I'm really interested in her, she's my best friend and she knows me like the back of her hand. It's hard for me to digest because I've had relationships where my GF at the time couldn't even read me like she does. It freaks me out too that she can sense when I'm drifting away she always does something to stir the pot and get my attention back, but I can't keep falling for false hope.

    • Sounds like you are describing that she's stringing you on?
      That doesn't sound like a very nice thing to do to a "friend".

      Usually women who do that are immature and enjoys the "attention" -- that's kind of selfish behavior.

      Imagine if a woman is really interested you in a mature/ grown-up way, she would want you to be happy, and be honest and open about it, because she has the self-confidence. Then you can work towards a good fulfilling relationship for both of you.

      But this doesn't seem like her, does it?

    • I feel that way to a certain extent. But it's one of those things that I'm confused about and/or personally conflicted about.

      When we are in a group setting things are really casual, and sometimes I get bothered by some of the things she says/does, but I don't show it and I have to remind myself that we're not dating and to keep myself in check. After all, the beauty in a relationship is your ability to accept one another for who they are and to compromise.

      In a personal setting with her, she always compliments me on what a good listener I am, how I am respectful to people I don't agree with (which there are a few things that we don't agree on), and she says that I'm a really dedicated person. She still says some of these things after I asked her out, but I don't feel as though she's being honest with me to the degree that I was with her. I risked our entire friendship because I thought she was worth it, and so far she's really never told me what her personal thoughts are.

  • I would ask for time because I would need to think about whether I was willing to risk our friendship for a relationship with you. That's sometimes a hard decision to make so it could take time. So if I heard that you were chasing some other girl I'd be really upset because it'd make me think you weren't really interested in me or serious about me. And I'd feel like you were playing with my feelings so I might end up ignoring you instead of chasing you. Why don't you just ask her why she's taking so long? Because this is my opinion, but maybe she's really not into you and she's stalling.

  • She didn't know how to reject you, therefore, move on.

    • I'm not the first friend of hers to ask her out. She's shot everyone else down with a hard and fast no. Why am I different?

    • Maybe she seen you as a closer friend than the rest.

  • Nope, I'd be more upset if you continued to chase me.

  • Well, if that was me I would just feel glad that i didn't say yes

    • I'm not sure what you mean here...

    • @OP... she's saying that if she was the girl who rejected you, she's glad she wouldn't've said yes seeing what you would try and do afterwards.

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