She can't choose between me and her ex… what can I do?

So i have been seeing this girl and before she went on her holiday she was ready to dive into a relationship with me problem being she went to ibiza and her e wouldn't leave her alone and she slept with him!! she was honest and told me this we talked about it and me and her were not serious so i don't have a problem with it !! the problem now is that her ex who is a nasty person has put on this act that he has changed and her feelings have come back for him but at the same time she has feelings for me and doesn't know what she wants !! which after thinking about it i have decided to tell her that we should just stay friends while she works out what she wants, is this the right thing to do will she miss what we had when her ex does decided to be an nasty person again? after i told her we should stay friends she text me saying "that means a lot i do have feelings for you and its not that I'm playing you about i have been as honest as i can and tried to explain how i feel i think its just come at a bad time!" i responded by saying i understand and i am trying to make this situation easier for you until you make your mind up!! which she said "think i need to decide what i want on my own before i put anymore confusion on myself or anyones emotions" i have completely fell for this girl so please can you not put on here to move on and find someone else because i can't be bothered to go looking elsewhere is there any girls out there who have been in the same situation that can give me some advice on how you sorted your head out ! and do you think i have done the right thing by backing off a bit i am still going to be her friend because we were great friends before but i am no longer going to make the effort with her please please please help thank you guys !!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You make the choice for her. YOU get out. Don't play second best to anyone. Plain and simple. If she was that serious about you, this wouldn't even be a discussion.

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    • i have got out and put a stop to all the effort i was making with her is there a chance she will realise now I've taken that away she clearly does have feelings for me or she would have just ignored me when i said lets just stay friends she still told me she had feelings for me do you see why I'm confused ….. i said lets stay friends as a test and she didn't do what i expected

    • Three best words in the English language: "I Love you". Three worst words "Let's be friends". It isn't going to work. Get her out of your life completely, and move on.

    • It's me that has said let's be friends not her even when I said that she still said she has feelings for me I gave her way of walking away from it and she knows that she isn't going to get what she was getting from me but still said she has feelings for me... How should I act with her without me getting hurt but also with out her loosing what she has for me now

What Girls Said 2

  • I would wait it out. Give her like a month or something to detach from her ex, then continue the pursuit. If she still has feelings for this guy after he proved being a jerk, I dont think she's gonna change her mind about him that easily

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    • does she have feelings for me though is that why even when i called it a day she still said she had feelings instead of just saying yes and then still said she needs to think about what she wants

    • she is probably really confused, its possible for peopl eto like more people at the same time. Tell her that she should decide soon though, because this is not good for either of you imho

  • Sounds like a tough situation, and it seems like she's trying to be fair to you. However unintentional she may be leading you on. However difficult, you may want to consider pursuing other love interests or things you enjoy so that you don't hold yourself back from happiness while she decides what to do because she may never reach a conclusion.

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    • Thanks for the advice but I have called a stop to it and she is still saying she has feelings for me eventhough she knows I'm not perusing it until she has made up her mind so if she didn't have feelings for me wouldn't she just agree?

    • I don't know how to answer because I'm in a similar situation and it's just a sucky place to be, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

What Guys Said 1

  • forget about her...

    Okay I gonna sleep now.. so damn tired...

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