How often should a guy in a serious relationship go for a guys night out?

I have a 5 year old child and when I first met my boyfriend I made it clear that I was past the going out and drinking/partying phase in my life. I refused to go out with him because I truly felt that he still wanted that in his life, and because ALL of his friends are single, I thought it would just be too difficult to deal with. Well months of him perusing me and convincing me that he was ready to settle down and lead a family life, I agreed to go out on a date. We have been together now for 1.5 years and the relationship is mostly great. We live together and he is stepping up in many ways. I understand he wants guys nights out, but what is acceptable. I want him to have space and enjoy himself but I also don't want a drunk bafoon strolling in at 3am. I made things clear from day one that it's not something I would ever want from my partner so it's not like I'm springing this info on him now. But he wants to see his friends and go out once or twice a week which I also think is ridiculous. I get to see him one week on then one week off due to work. And with sports and other family engagements, I feel a day or two on top of that is not giving us what we need. I think if he had friends who were in serious commitments I would be more supportive of him going out, but whenever he "hangs with the boys" he gets pressured to drink and they all act like morons. What is acceptable for a guy in this situation? And if I just stay quiet about this, will this eventually get out of his system?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say none. My older brother was in your shoes with his first wife a couple of years ago. She wasn't past that phase while he totally was. Long story short after giving her more "freedom" she eneded up commiting adultery with some guy numerous times.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly I would say 0. I never understood the point of a guy or girls night. Personally I would rather be spending the time with my significant other, not at the bar getting drunk with a bunch of guys. But that's just me.

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    • This is how a guy should think. I never understood it either

What Girls Said 1

  • I am very very strict with this. I don't allow my fiance to go drinking (especially not at night). I also watch what friends he has and is surrounded with. I dont want him to have bad influence. I do have a short leash on my man in some points, and I know most people support the freedom but to me too much freedom leads to stress. Once you entered marriage or engagement, the wild times are supposed to be over. I completely quit my partying, and thats what I expect for my man as well.

    In your case, he sets his prioritys wrong. He's mid- end 20s and he is still swimming with the flow? Sounds immature to me. 2x a week is simply too much. If he wants a guys night out, 1x a month is appropiate. He should grow up, get some balls and make his women happy.

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