Was my approach creepy?

One of the things I am doing this year is not beating around the bush and become acquaintances at best with girls first before asking them out. If there's a girl I like that is in one of my classes or activities, within a few days I ask her out. The first girl I asked out was a girl in my math class. She had a boyfriend. Thing is that we had a little bit of group work so I got a bit of a chance to slightly interact with her for a couple days first before asking her out.

With the second girl I asked out, I pretty much just went up to her and asked. I went up to her, asked her how it's going and then right away told her that I noticed her and thought she was pretty so I was wondering if she wanted to go get ice cream sometime. She ignored me, called her friend, and caught up to her. Okay... I have no issues with that. I just laughed it off. I have no problems with handling rejection (unless it's a long-term crush - even then, at worst a couple days of slight unhappiness ensue).

While I can handle rejection very well, I still want to ensure that my approaches aren't coming off as creepy. Thing is with the last girl, I didn't know what else to do. She sits at the opposite side of the classroom. Time is extremely limited between classes - I mean that's basically all you get time for - a little bit of small talk, if you want to get to class on time. Beating around the push trying to chat her up bit by bit between classes never worked for me and I"d rather be getting to know her on a first date where we can actually talk in peace.

However, I am worried that approach came off as creepy and she thought that I just want sex from her (not true at all - I want a relationship). Ideally, you would make a little more conversation first, but like I said... time is a bitch...

Maybe if I added in "get to know" her somewhere in my asking out, it would come across better?

What do you think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • And this is why people in your situation should just talk to the people they're interested in over facebook. Problem solved.

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    • Kind of creepy to talk to people you haven't spoken to in real life on Facebook.

    • It's less creepy than asking someone you don't know to spend some time alone with you.

Most Helpful Guy

  • if you keep doing it you'll eventually find a girl that will say yes. what you're doing is a numbers game. no technique in doing it just keep going lol. so in a way its not really creepy but you can add some stuff to lighten it up to improve success rate.

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    • That's what I figured.

What Girls Said 3

  • It's best to try to talk to them more first

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    • Like I said, I wish I could, but it's just not possible when the girl is sitting at the opposite side of the classroom and all you get is passing periods for less than 5 minutes, especially when she spends most of that time with her friends, not to mention the time it takes to get to class, so I only have like 2 minutes max a day for a lot of girls.

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    • If that's how you wanna do it. I will probably never say yes to a guy like that tho.

    • Some girls actually like this approach anyway. So not all is lost by doing it this way, if it's your only option.

  • try to start off hanging out as friends

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  • Did you even talk to her before or just saw her around and thought she was pretty? Was that the first time you talked to her?

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    • Yeah, it was.

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    • Ok well that should be fine. You'll grow when as you get older. Don't worryyyyyyyyy!

    • What would you have said if I said I was ugly though?

What Guys Said 2

  • I think your approach to be confident and not pining for some chick for months is sound. I'd suggest at least talking to a girl a bit before you go for the ask out. I know you say you don't have time, but you have to have some time during the day to at least talk to her a bit to see if she's interested.

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    • Like I said to the other person, I wish I could, but it's just not possible when the girl is sitting at the opposite side of the classroom and all you get is passing periods for less than 5 minutes, especially when she spends most of that time with her friends, not to mention the time it takes to get to class, so I only have like 2 minutes max a day for a lot of girls.

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    • Well, is my approach "creepy"? You have any other ideas on how I can improve my approach?

    • It can come off as creepy if you run up to a girl and ask her out. Lay down a bit more rap, first

  • Put yourself in the place of a girl: A person that you don't know walks up to you and asks for time to spend with them alone. Do you imagine you'd say yes to this?

    Perhaps it's an outdated notion that you only see in the movies, or perhaps you're reading too much PUA stuff (which any of it is probably too much lol). Girls just don't go out with strange men they don't know. The reason some guys can get a girl to spend time with them right after meeting them is because they're both ALREADY in that place, such as a bar. But some girl on the street? Forget about it, because it's not going to happen.

    Instead of asking them out, ask for their phone number instead so you can get to know them and get them comfortable with you before asking them out.

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    • It was a girl from class.

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    • You're right, but what else can I do? How am I supposed to to know her better first when I don't have the time?

    • You can't catch her when you all are leaving class? You can't sit near her and strike up conversations? Do you know anyone that also knows her?

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