I love my friend with benefits and it's killing me!!?

We don't have sex, we are both virgins. We just be all lovey dovey with each other. I have feelings for him. He knows it. He seems to be interested too, but he is not looking for a committed relationship. Please don't tell me to move on. If it's that easy I already did. He swears he only sees me, no one else, and it's true please don't question that. Please just say something to cheer me up, I'm so down right now. I just can't take it anymore when he's not mine. Please no mean answer.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I'm glad for you, I don't know you but you seem nice. I hope something sparks between you and just be happy ^_^ love without a first hand friendship just doesn't work, I guess I'd know since receiving that message from my crush who denied me and left to college. Maybe he's just trying to see if he likes being with you, so don't try to push it too far. And what do you mean he's not yours? I don't know all the info but it seems like you've already got him in your arms. Just try to stay positive and soon you'll have him. Good luck too you ^_^

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    • Thanks very much for your kind words. I meant we're not exclusive, although he's in my arms not nothing is stopping him from liking other girls you know...

      Maybe I was wrong, to step into this friend with benefits thing too early. We should have be friends first. Now all we talk about are naughty things, we have very little chance to get to know each other without it turning to something else :(

What Guys Said 1

  • He's lying. He's afraid. Play the convince card

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    • Lying about what, afraid of what?

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    • i do have men in my social circle who break up and decided to live their dreams you know e. g. go quad biking in the desert or travel the world. eventually they meet women in foreign countries and they come to me asking for psychological tweaking. (i have knowledge of the brain) it seems when men don't get intimate with a woman for a while, they tend to feel things to go awry when in actual fact, nothing bad will happen, they're still them, no change in their instincts. and i have to come in and help them tweak that. for the record, these are men who know what they're doing they're not goody 2 shoes virgins. if you're attempting to convince him it will be okay in relationship, i really do not know what direction to give you. generally it's men who boost men. i've never heard of a woman boosting men, don't know what effect that will have.

    • Thanks. Seem like he's having trouble with his thoughts or something...

What Girls Said 5

  • Either confront him on it, gently though as you don't want to scare him. For example, ask about if he could be persuaded into a relationship, if you get a negative response then I recommend ending the friends with benefits situation as you'll only get hurt.

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    • As I said he's not looking for a relationship... I don't want to move on and regret later if he changes his mind though. Besides, the benefits does benefit me too.

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    • I don't know why. He told me all his past relationship are immature (he's 18), and he's off the relationship field for a year now. He told me he thinks he would be single forever (which doesn't make any sense cuz he looks hot).

      I had look around, unfortunately all guys that I fancy are apparently don't want a relationship :/

      I know I've been hurting so bad it sucks. Thanks for caring though :(

    • It seems you're at a dead end here, I'm sure they'll be light at the end of the tunnel though. Keep your head up and look out for other opportunities, I'm sure it seems hard but it's better to take your mind off this guy for a while. I hope you end up happy :)

  • U mean friends for foreplay or cuddles? friends with benefits are people u have sex with.
    enjoy the time u have with him for now.

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  • If he's only seeing you and you're only seeing him and neither of you is exploiting the other for sex... how is it a friends with benefits situation at all?

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    • We are friends but we make out, oral sex, etc so I don't consider it normal friends so I said friend with benefits. I don't think it's a exclusive relationship either because we never have "the talk".

    • It seems to meet the definition of a relationship to me, whether you've had the talk or not. Why don't you just keep doing what you're doing and enjoying one another?

  • i dont understand. what are the benefits if y'all are virgins? anyway. i think you should move on.

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    • Not really intercourse benefits. We are friends but we make out, oral sex, etc so I don't consider it normal friends so I said friend with benefits.

    • lol dont give him your services if he can't be in a relationship lol

  • You said you were both virgins so you could try to have romantic sex to try to get him to that next step

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    • But there's a saying "Why buy a cow if you can get free milk?"

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