He liked my friend before he liked me?

So during our first year of college my friend met this boy in one of her classes. He developed a crush on her. They got quite close, but when he wanted to ask her out, she friendzoned him. Just after he met her, he met me. After she friendzoned him, we got quite close. Talked a lot. He said I was more amazing than she ever was and that we clicked so much better and he was amazed at how well we got along. We talked and talked and eventually he said he had feelings for me.

I feel uneasy though, am I a rebound? Is that possible, to get over a crush so easily? I asked him one night and he said that if he got with her, he never would've dated me and gotten to know me...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • At that age, it is possible to jump from crush to crush. You're meeting new people every day, and meeting a new person can make you forget your last crush relatively easily.

    But I'd just be careful when it comes to your friend. Until you fully trust that nothing will happen between them (because I truly feel that feelings never go away but just go dormant), I think it's okay to privately have your guard up. But publicly, you should trust him until he proves untrustworthy.

    So go forward with it but just be prepared in case it tu

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    • Oops. In case it turns out he's using you to stay close to her.

    • This actually happened 3 years ago, we dated for two years, broke up and became friends. He even said he was in love with me and wanted to marry me. But recently we've started talking again and we talked about "what ifs" and he said if she had said yes, he would've never met me and we never would've known each other. Do you think I should still be worried?

    • I mean in any case, it's all about trust. Do you trust him? Do you trust her? If she threw herself at him, would you trust him to push her away? Do you trust her to never do that? Do you trust both of them to tell you if either of them something inappropriate?

      If the answer to all of those is yes, don't worry. If the answer is no or even maybe, keep your guard up until you fully trust them.

      I think everyone should be trusted until there's reason to lose trust. But I don't believe in blind trust until that's earned.

What Guys Said 3

  • The fact that she rejected and friend zoned him likely caused a bit of resentment towards her. Hence, the opportunistic shots he took at her.

    As a result, my belief is that by the time he met you, he no longer had intentions of see her. So, no, a rebound you were not.

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  • I wouldn't call it a rebound. She shot him down before he even had a chance to get started. He's moving on.

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    • This actually happened 3 years ago, we dated for two years, broke up and became friends. He even said he was in love with me and wanted to marry me. But recently we've started talking again and we talked about "what ifs" and he said if she had said yes, he would've never met me and we never would've known each other. Do you think I should still be worried?

  • pppheeeww that escalated quickly.. haha... i pay full respect for this guy for moving on that fast.. most people especially boy will take a long time before they can move on.. maybe he means what he said and yet maybe his just using you so he might get noticed by your friend.. who knows? so get to know him more then you can start trusting him.. cuz trusting him is your decision but proving you wrong is his. hope all this makes sense.. GLHF :P

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    • This actually happened 3 years ago, we dated for two years, broke up and became friends. He even said he was in love with me and wanted to marry me. But recently we've started talking again and we talked about "what ifs" and he said if she had said yes, he would've never met me and we never would've known each other. Do you think I should still be worried?

    • hhhhhmmm i smell love in the force... he did mention that without your friend saying no, he wouldn't have met you which means your are far more important to him that your friend ever was... heck he also said he wants to marry you thats a big hint that your very special to him.. but just be careful.. ya know us guys tend to change our feelings very quick... no one is worth your tears and if his is worth your tears, do you think he'll make you cry... so no.. you shouldn't be worried and instead just love him when you still have him cuz I've never really met guys like him... GLHF XD

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you shouldn't date with him because chicks before dicks. You dont need to tag his crush on you like "rebound" yet you shouldn't even think about you and that boy. It doesn't matter that your friend shut him down, or she even didn't like him at the beginning. They had a thing and your friend will be jealous of you.

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    • She has a boyfriend and never liked him :/

    • oh okay i didn't know that she had a boyfriend, then you can go for him.

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