Hooking up before being in a relationship.. am I doomed?

So I went on a first date, we connected super well... absolutely no awkwardness at all. At the end of the night we were joking around and playing the "are you nervous yet" game... I ended up giving him oral sex. I felt really horrible that I did that since I'm really not that kind of girl. I texted him the next morning pretty much saying that what I did was not me and that I feel like a complete whore. I also mentioned that I didn't want to ruin what could be. He responded saying that his view on me hasn't changed and that he can tell I'm not that type of girl. I wouldn't let him touch me down there at all. So my question is, is there still a possibility for a relationship or did I ruin that by giving him a blow job?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I hate this idea that there has to be a specific time and you can't even enjoy your connection with one another without fearing of getting used or seen less. I knew of a girl that made a guy wait for 4 months and when it happened, he still dumped her... so it was a lost for her. I've also heard about a now married couple that got intimate already on the 3rd date.

    Seriously, why can't people just do what they feel it's natural when they're ready (whether that's within months later, never, days later or on the next date).

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    • Thanks for MHO.

What Guys Said 3

  • Bjs are worse in my book. I think your chances are less but not zero. Also this kinda does lower your chances with a portion of other men for life

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  • That's a tough one. I know people will say that things are okay, but subconsciously you hurt your chances with him. You're going to have to make up for that and really slow things down even further.

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  • No, you are quite okay.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm sorry but in my world, blow job giving is worse then giving off plain sex on a first date. Dont give oral to men who have not deserved to get oral. You are begging to be with him and to make it worse, you worry that your begging and giving off of sexual favors is going to ruin your chances. With men, never, ever beg. Its not real love and its a tiny bit flattering but its not going to help him see you as a person or as a woman he can trust for that matter. Sorry, about what happened but quit the giving sex, or sexual favours with men you want to date for the long haul. If you need sex, have it with a man you are not emotionally invested and make the high quality dudes, fight for you!

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