Ladies what would you do in my situation, in desperate need of help?

Thank you for reading this!

I met a great guy in January and we dated, went on five great dates, im 22 and so far he's the best guy I've dated.
We clicked on every level, and had amazing time together. Yes we have had sex and feelings developed, he told me he liked me but unfortunatly he didn't live in my town, he came for meetings only. Than after our last date on Valentine's day he began pulling away, than finally after few weeks i managed to ask him what went wrong, and he said he wasn't looking for anything serious now because he doesn't have time.
During that time he had a lot on his plate, he was applying for university in the states and doing a lot of traveling.

So we didn't talk for 6 months but we remained friends.
He now moved to my town for university, and he lives 5 minutes away from me.
He contacted me last Monday and wanted to meet, we met on wensday and went on walk last week, it wasn't awkward it was so much fun.
On our way home he told me to not hesitate contacting him whenever i wanted to meet, if i was bored etc, and he told me i should come over to his place for coffe.
I asked him later that night if he wanted to meet again once im back from my trip, and it was fun to see him , he said yes he wanted to, cause it was fun.

Basically i did get hurt, i felt like he rejected me and i wanst special, but at the same time i do admit that the timing was bad and it was good that we didn't talk and things didn't develope more.
But now im afraid , im afraid of being rejected by him again, i dont know why he contacted me, or what he wants.. i feel like i might not be good enough..
He was in a relationship for 6 years so he has experianced hurt before, they broke up in 2013 and she's pregnant and dating another guy. .
So ladies what would you have done? should i contact him when im back or just leave it and dont contact him'? I do really like him but like i said im afraid of being hurt again.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm a lot a lot a lot younger than you, but I know exactly what you are talking about. I myself am still in highschool, but when the new school year started my crush (actually we both like each other but aren't dating for because of school work), he pulled away also and was really quiet. I was scared of getting rejected by him because I like him so much and he's killing me. I typed him a big long message about my feelings and he understood. After all, if we met at a time of ten years later, we might be dating. I think he is just REALLY busy, just like my crush. He's in University you say? That means he's a freshmen. Freshmens are always REALLY busy (since I'm a freshmen), and at least he called to meet you, meaning he really does care about you. I think what you should do is to keep encourage him, help him with his homework and ask him about his professors. Get involved with his life so he can feel that you are not a destraction but a helper. I know what you are feeling, but you gotta trust him. He's gotta trust you too. And about the calling, don't really call him 24/7 if you are bored 24/7. Call him maybe twice a week or something, ask him how he's doing and tell him how you are doing. Just keep on doing casual things that people don't usually pay attention to, because one day if you went out of town or something he'll know that he really needs you.

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    • he goes first year of his masters, he is 25. I just want someone t o want me back, and i dont want to be the one chasing him. I thought maybe of doing fun things together to bond a friendly bond rather than jumping into the romance? is that good?

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    • Long distance wouldn't be a option for us.. i wouldn't have done that so in one way i titally understand the fact that nothing could have developed.. but now he lives five minutes away

    • ohhhhh. I think you should get more involved now since you only live 5 minutes away. As like a "hey do you need help?" kind of way.

What Guys Said 2

  • He had a pretty good excuse last time.

    Tell him straight up that you want an exclusive relationship, and for him to treat it serious.

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  • go out with him again when you get back sounds to me like you two fell in love with each other

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    • I dont know.. if he was in love he wouldn't have pulled away

What Girls Said 2

  • I would go for it, if you feel like you connected on many levels there's no harm in just testing the waters. Just try not to let your heart get too involved unless he's on the same level. Communication is important, make sure you know what he wants from you as well.

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    • That is true. I mean why bother contacting me if he didn't care?

  • go for it if you feel you connected on many levels then just go and test the waters

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