Why do guys pull the "let's ignore her" thing? Why can't they just keep it real?

So there's this guy who showed serious interest in me yet cancelled on the dates HE asked me on because he was busy...

When he cancelled the second time, it was the last time we talked. I said "dude if you aren't interested its all good, I understand"

and then he said its not that! I'm trying to do well in college. He's been sending mixed messages and I wanted an honest answer.. but maybe he decided to give me that answer in a "silent" way.

He ignored the text I sent him the night he said he would be free, after canceling that day. And I thought to myself, maybe he was just tired or something.. so after a couple days (yesterday) I texted him and he didn't even reply to me once. Omg I feel so stupid! I wish I could go back in time and have not texted him. Now I'm not talking to him ever again until he makes the effort to talk to me.
I'm so embarrassed :/


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just mirror his behavior. I'm not saying you should play games, I'm just saying, he's not putting out any effort so why should u? Stop sending him text messages and don't call him either. If he permanently disappears then just move on,(and I can assure u that life goes on and u will get over him) but if he does come back around, honestly thats up to u what u want to do, but I just think that u should stop reaching out to him and u should stop feeling bad too... no need to feel bad. It happens. Guys will be guys. can't let his actions manage your emotions.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Well, non-scientifically, because men are aware of what women read:

    www.cosmopolitan.com/.../

    www.cosmopolitan.com/.../

    www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a1532/547479/

    and the garbage outlets women get their information from. So, to basically "avoid" or "defend" against having to deal with that, men develop the counter-strategy of ignoring and not giving a sh*t until the woman snaps out of what he perceives as her playing hard to get.

    See,

    lowres.cartoonstock.com/...yfriend-sat0041_low.jpg

    Meanwhile, according to actual scientific research: www.telegraph.co.uk/.../...only-works-for-men.html

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    • So what you're saying, is that he is playing hard to get? I never play hard to get. I'm not easy, but I know what I want as you can tell. and guys hate when girls play hard to get, but I was being more forward and he wants nothing to do with me now.. makes no sense!

      It just seems like he lost interest, not that he's playing hard to get.

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    • Ummm... I think you''re making yourself look pathetic by the overreaction of this guys comment. No offence.

    • Nobody is pathetic.. look @Asker... I'm sorry.. some people are more sensitive than others.. and I forgot that you did ask the question, so it's normal to take things very seriously and sensitive.. so, I'm not going to sit here and joke around and ride your inner emotional wave of misery and pissed-off-edness just for a good 2-3 second chuckle.. I'm sorry, and I take it back to the extent I can for saying something that pushed you over the edge and pushed your buttons the wrong way.. GaG is supposed to be a happy place.. I hope you can take my olive branch and we can move past this

  • If we show interest we are "nice guys" who are "too needy".
    If we don't show interest we are "cold ice asshole guys"

    No win situation.

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    • Or, you know, there's the alternative of simply saying "Hey this isn't working out." Don't ignore people. People should know how to communicate by now, we're in fucking 2014.

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    • exactly! JUST KEEP IT REAL FOLKS.

    • That's why I said "people" instead of just solely men. It's not entirely our faults, BUT it's not entirely your faults either :)

  • I've gotten "the ice treatment" more than once from girls you know...

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  • It's never too late just stop texting him

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  • Does being ignored really upset girls?

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    • yes. It effects our self esteem, just like it can for men

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    • It's inconsiderate, but it's an effective method. Out of sight, out of mind after all...

      But why is it 'fake'. What is 'fake' about it?

    • I asked him straight up, I said if you aren't interested you can say so. And this is how he is answering that question, rather than saying no I'm not interested. Fake.

  • There is a fix for that. Find another guy.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Ikr? Remember, guys who ignore girls are just letting girls learn how to live without them.

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