How do I get her to talk?

Long long long story short.

Best friend of 3 years. I asked her out 2 months ago. She asked for time to think about it. I give her time to think and don't bring it up. We still hang out our normal 2-3 times a week. A month goes by and I ask her to hang out at one of our favorite local bars. She asks me if it's a date. I ask where this is coming from. She says I want to make sure we're on the same page... I ask which is? She says "I'm still thinking about it". Last week, we go for beach week with two other friends and rent a house. Towards the end of the week, I kind of have a personal meltdown because I'm not sure what's going on between us, and so had to keep to myself for a few hours and was probably a bit quieter for like the last 2 days of the trip.

Today she sends me a text saying that I seemed a little weird or off last week, and that on the ride back home I was acting funny or strange (usually when this happens she'll ask me about it then and there). She also said "I get the sense that you're not one to communicate".

My meltdown happened because something triggered me to think about her and I'm upset at the fact she's never really given me an answer, and/or what she's thinking about. She's in the same boat as me I guess. She's not the best at communicating her feelings. She's my best friend, and if she's not interested in dating me I would understand, but I wish she would at least throw me a bone as to what she is thinking about, or what she has reservations about. She's my best friend and I'll stand by her decision, but I need to know what she's thinking about.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well if you want it to go anywhere I would talk to her.. Go with what you feel bro. Sounds like she's waiting for you, but just know the consequences could be losing a good friend. If my feelings for a girl was strong I think I would just get it out on the table and let her know.. I would also tell her that I'm fine with either choice she makes


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What Girls Said 2

  • If it has been 2 months with no answer than sorry but she is probably not interested but just doesn't want to ruin your friendship or make anything awkward by telling you she's not interested. I would bring it up again but maybe give her the option that if she doesn't feel the same way or isn't interested that there would be no hard feelings you just want an answer instead of stressing over what she's thinking.

  • girls know how shitty it is to leave someone hanging like that. if she's your best friend, why would she do that to you? I think she's not interested. No girl takes that long to decide. it seems like she's enjoying the attention and frankly, seems to enjoy your suffering too. I wouldn't call that being a friend.


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