Why do users here and others online lie so much to unattractive people?

Whenever I post pictures here or anywhere else and ask people will say I'm average, normal or look fine. Some women will claim that they would date me.

Yet in reality no women find me attractive.

I've clicked yes on every single girl that has come up on tinder (even ones who are very unattractive themsevles) and not gotten any matches.

I've messaged hundreds of women on online dating and barely got any replies. No women have messaged me first. And absolutely 0 women have wanted to date me.

Whenever I attempt to approach a woman in real life, whether its at a bar/club or during the day, I get rejected straight away (either they walk away without saying anything, give me a dirty look, tell me they are taken/not interested or just laugh at me).

How can I be average or normal looking? Surely I must be very unattractive for this to occur? Or is this what the average man faces when he tries to get a date/girlfriend?

Updates:
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Anymore answers?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • well, if you're asking for ratings, it's probably because you don't have a high self esteem as it is.. and most people are actually nice, so they wouldn't want to put you any more down than you already are...

    and that aside.. even if they did find you attractive.. i look at it like this...
    You go to the store with empty pockets... you look at the stuff and you want mostly everything... If you had money... in you head you think you'd probably buy that... then you come back another day with money!!! do you buy all the stuff you wanted previously? I don't... once I have money I tend to find almost not as appealing as it was when i was broke...

    so.. back to this.. you ask someone "am I attractive, would you date me?" they know you're not really asking "them" out.. you just want an answer... so they see you.. think you're not that bad.. sure they'd date you... but they aren't really looking and you're not asking them out.. . so sure!

    then you go on this website or in real life... where you actually ask these girls out.. you're there for this sole purpose.. so it's like shopping.. they are there for that same purpose.. with they buy everything they liked? no! they want to see what's best... that one is nice, but I want something else...

    do I get my point across? I think I'm bad at explaining :/

    Anyway! good luck! :]!!

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    • So they are lying to stop themselves feeling bad?

      That's just selfish.

    • That's what you got out of what I said? so I typed all that for nothing.. I knew it.

What Girls Said 9

  • Maybe it's your approach maybe it's not your looks at all. In some cases you could be the most attractive guy but if you have a shit approach or shit personality no one will give you the time of day. Sounds like to me that you feel hopeless and you feel like your attempts get you now where sounds like you lack confidence. I'm not saying everyone that ever got a gf/bf/ date in General had massive amounts of confidence but try a positive attitude. Don't be so negative because when your negative that's the most unattractive thing ever. Cheer up keep trying and don't be so hard on your self. Stay positive.

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    • Then why am I much more successful if I use someone else's pictures online?

    • Naa. I don't actually set up to meet people. I merely test the waters to see if they'd go for it.

  • your looking in all the wrong places to find women, bars and clubs aren't good places to meet a girl that you want to have a long term relationship with, they're for one night stands and thats basically it. What about your workplace or something? You'll find that meeting a girl at a park or the library or something like that will be more helpful than clubs bars and sites, parks and libraries and cafes etc is where the honest, loyal, and sweetest people are. So even if you are ugly not all girls care about looks, you're just looking in the wrong places.

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    • I look in loads of places. Read the question.

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    • It was no help. You said I hadn't tried something that I'd already said I'd tried. That isn't helping.

    • kk ungrateful, i can see why nobody would like to be in relationship with you when you have an attitude like that

  • hmm. post your pic now, i want to see. i'll be honest.

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    • I've already posted my pictures many times on here. I don't see the point in doing it again.

    • alright fine. good luck

  • Does your profile say anything creepy or allude to your dick size/sexual preferences?

    Frankly, even dudes who aren't great looking will get some sort of small talk out of a girl if his approach isn't weird.

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  • I'm a nice person, so I'm not gonna just call anyone "ugly". And i will never just tell anyone they're "undateable". Just because they're my type doesn't mean they're not anyones type. But oh well I guess I'm just a nice person

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    • Lying isn't "nice" behaviour.

    • I'm not lying. I' not gonna tell them they look good if they don't. If they say "am I ugly?" I go.. "Oh come on now, why would someone call you ugly?" Basically I never answered their question. I'll leave that to someone else

  • As cliché as it may sound, looks aren't all that matters. If you'd post a pic I can honestly tell you what I think, or perhaps try to give you some advice on what you might wanna chande :)

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    • Looks are all that matters when making first contact. There is nothing else to go by.

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    • Retarded? is that word really necessary? I mean looks do play a role in life, but you can be succesful regardless of how you look in my opinion.

    • Yes, its necessary.

  • Without pics WE CAN'T GIVE YOU AN ANSWER.

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  • Maybe you're looking towards the wrong people. What do you look like? A pic would he helpful

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    • No, it wouldn't, that's the whole point of this question.

    • Oh so you just want judgment from personality?

    • No. Try reading the question.

  • Sounds like it might be an approach problem, not a looks problem. It's pretty unusual for someone to just walk away or laugh when someone asks them out, even if they aren't interested.

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    • Then why do I also have 0 luck online, where I can literally say exactly what someone tells me to.

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    • GAG is not a dating site. It is not a place I could meet someone.

      And girls on Tinder don't refuse to match with me for not being outgoing, they don't have any idea how outgoing or not I am.

    • You may look shy or introverted through expression, is what I mean. For GAG girls, that is more attractive than for Tinder girls.

What Guys Said 8

  • Having done online dating for a while way back, I can tell you, you're not missing much. The girls' profiles are very misleading and many act like they are so much more then I'd meet them in person and they don't match the profile pics and the descriptions are misleading. I'll talk with a girl who makes herself look all career-woman like. Then I'd talk more and find out she's just a WoW addict who makes no money and is working for a scam job and she'd bail on meeting up.

    I've met in person these girls, they're lucky to be considered average when it comes to looks. You gotta be very careful here. They use face pics to hide their weight or use old photos. They'll whine so hard that guys want sex to the point where they sound asexual. They have laundry lists of "must-have's" of things they don't making them hypergamous.

    Don't invest too much time into these girls honestly.

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  • Maybe you're good looking on the outside. But inside your are lacking self esteem. This comes out verbally, written words, and the way you carry yourself. Low self esteem and or negativity are a turn off.

    As far as online dating, that is not a very good way of judging yourself. Women on those sites very, very rarely message first. Why? because they don't have to. They get the "pick of the litter". For every woman you message. That woman is getting AT LEAST 40+ messages. Getting 0 dates is pretty much the norm on those sites. It takes a minimum of 2 weeks of daily chatting before getting the possibility of meeting for a coffee. Even if you asked, it will likely take another month before it happens.

    Quite honestly. With what you have written here, you sound desperate. And if everything you try has failed. I would believe your esteem has taken a shit kicking. So it's not likely your appearance that is the issue. It's your other traits that are causing the problem.

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  • First of all using Tinder if you have low self confidence is a very bad idea because the whole basis of that app is to judge based on looks. Also it is very rare that a woman will message you first unless you look like a Greek God. I know how you feel because the same has happened to me but you have to build self confidence first. Forget about dating and girls if you don't have self confidence. Change things up in your life. Dress differently. Change up your or something. You want the truth? Here it is. It's not other people thinking you are attractive that's the problem. It's you. Fuck what other people think. If is think you're ugly then it would have never worked out anyway. I wish you good luck man.

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  • I'm black and surprisingly I've got matches. Maybe its the type of pictures you put up? are you smiling? Do you have a washroom selfie up? Do you live in a small town? Are you a member of a minority group?

    irl, maybe its your approach. Are you forcing your conversations? are you putting her on a pedestal? Are you making her out to be a target?

    I personally don't like using dating apps cause it feels so disingenuous, I'd prefer real life encounters. just saying.

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    • If they are pictures of me they don't work.

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    • You see the problem with lean, muscular physiques like that is once you out a shirt on its hard to see. and how often do you walk around without a shirt on? So that's not going to help you much. I, and the rest of the GaG community would like to see your face again.

      i53.photobucket.com/.../picture012.jpg

    • So what physique should I be shooting for? Fat is worse. Skinny is worse. Skinny fat is worse. Very muscular is better but will take me ages to reach if its possible for me at all. My physique is above average, not ideal, but it certainly isn't what is putting girls off.

  • Well that's cause from what I read it seems you are being too desperate to get a girl. it's not that you are unattractive but even unattractive guys get good looking girls nowadays. and they get em by having a great personality and or common interests with the girl they like. I suggest you try to befriend the girl first and then maybe impress her via talking

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    • How am I supposed to befriend people who won't even talk to me?

      I've never met a single unattractive guy who consistently gets good looking women.

    • Some may not want to talk to you, but not all of em would reject your advances. try approaching girls who you know are kind or at least look like they're kind enough to talk to you

    • So you are saying I'm lying?

  • I know how you feel. I too have been told, I'm not bad looking, average and women would date me. But guess what women don't find me attractive in public either. Women and girls are hypocrites.

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  • Just show your pic, then I will call my gay friends to judge you. I am straight by the way.

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    • Gay men find different things attractive to women, they generally have much lower standards.

  • Every now and then, we all need someone to outstretch a hand and lift us from a bad spot. A lot of these guys/girls are really alright, but they are looking for some outward validation which they often do not get much of in real life. I honestly don't mind giving people that validation... because sometimes its necessary for them to actually believe they are alright looking. I don't lie when i talk to these people, but i make sure to be constructive. That's the best you can do

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