New guy I started talking to acting distant out of nowhere. Need male opinions!?

I started talking to this new guy about a month ago. We have known of each other for a while but never really hung out. We started talking and he told me that he had liked me for a while and had wanted to get the chance to talk to me for a while. When we would go out to the bars, he was very lovey dovey, extremely attentive, gentlemanlike... all of that. We decided that we werent going to be official but at least exclusive and not talking to other people. Everything was normal about a week ago. Then on Friday night he asked me to come over to his house to hang out ( he gets out of work pretty late). He later texted me and said he was tired and asked if we could do a raincheck for Saturday night. I told him that I couldnt because I already made plans but maybe some other time and he never answered. That was Friday night. We text everyday... but I haven't heard from him since. Im not sure why he hasn't texted me and now its going on day 3 of us not speaking. So should I text him and confront him and see whats up or just wait until he reaches out to me?


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What Guys Said 1

  • When was the last time you sent him a text? Was it when you said you couldn't or have you sent him others since then that he just hasn't answered?

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    • If you haven't messaged him since that night, then yes, you should find out what is going on. Maybe the way you worded your being unavailable hurt his feelings. Only communication will fix the problem.

      However, if you've sent a bunch of messages he hasn't responded to yet, then just stop. Wait for him to speak to you, otherwise you'll come across as desperate and clingy.

    • I hadn't messaged him since that night. I didn't want to be clingy so I didn't reach out to him. But he just texted me today around 2pm saying "hey loser". I am slightly annoyed at how he just responded sooo nonchalantly after 3 days of no contact. How do I let him know that I see that as disrespect without completely crawling down this throat? Dont wanna seem psycho lol but I am annoyed

    • Honestly, I say just swallow the annoyance. I'm assuming the 'hey loser' is a standard greeting style from him, as I know some guys (myself at times) that speak like that.
      I think right now, finding out where your relationship stands is more important than focusing on the faux pas of his message content.

      I would suggest something like, "Hey! What's up? Where you been stranger?" or something casual/friendly along those lines. Or even, "You ok? Haven't heard from you in a while."

What Girls Said 1

  • I have guys do this to me all the time. Just ignore him and treat the situation like the proverbial boomerang. If it comes back to you (i. e he gets in contact and gives you a tangible excuse for going awol), then consider taking him back. If he doesn't then you are saved the emotional turmoil of him having have done this when you were more 'involved'. Also, if someone is genuinely interested, they treat you as they would want to be treated themselves. Would you treat someone you care in the way he has treated you? If you are worried that something has happened to him, then ring his phone from 'private number' and see if he answers and then hang up if he does and delete his number, to enable you to move on.
    Will be hard to get through it for the first few months, then it will be a distant memory. Sadly, I have had to deal with scenario that several times, and am always glad I walked away with my dignity intact.

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