How can this affect the relationship (even though the kids don't spend much time with him). Will the ex be a pain in the ass? will I have to become sort of a parent for his kids all of a sudden?
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There are so many different ways those kinds of relationships can pan out that it is impossible to properly advise one way or the other.
Will the ex be a pain in the ass? If she is a pain, yes. If she is really nice, no. Could be a huge pain, could be really supportive. Could be anywhere in between.
Will you have to become a parent? If you want to, yes. If you don't, no. Or if he wants you to, or if he doesn't... or if the kids want you to, or if they don't... There are a near infinite number of combinations that will adjust how that will actually play out in a 'real' situation. I can tell you from my personal experience, having dated a woman that had kids, that for me, I never acted like their 'dad', I didn't replace their dad, but I did provide a strong, caring male role model. And I grew to really care for the kids, just because you are around them, guiding them, seeing them grow and learn. You can't help not. If the kids aren't around very much... then who knows, that may weaken the way that bond develops. It would also change base on their ages, I suppose.
So, really, it is impossible to say yes or no to the idea of dating a divorced man. It's too wide of a topic, there are too many variables. It's kind of like asking "should I date a guy that is 5'10"?" There are just too many different ways it can go.0