Is it a good idea to date a divorced guy with kids?

How can this affect the relationship (even though the kids don't spend much time with him). Will the ex be a pain in the ass? will I have to become sort of a parent for his kids all of a sudden?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There are so many different ways those kinds of relationships can pan out that it is impossible to properly advise one way or the other.

    Will the ex be a pain in the ass? If she is a pain, yes. If she is really nice, no. Could be a huge pain, could be really supportive. Could be anywhere in between.

    Will you have to become a parent? If you want to, yes. If you don't, no. Or if he wants you to, or if he doesn't... or if the kids want you to, or if they don't... There are a near infinite number of combinations that will adjust how that will actually play out in a 'real' situation. I can tell you from my personal experience, having dated a woman that had kids, that for me, I never acted like their 'dad', I didn't replace their dad, but I did provide a strong, caring male role model. And I grew to really care for the kids, just because you are around them, guiding them, seeing them grow and learn. You can't help not. If the kids aren't around very much... then who knows, that may weaken the way that bond develops. It would also change base on their ages, I suppose.

    So, really, it is impossible to say yes or no to the idea of dating a divorced man. It's too wide of a topic, there are too many variables. It's kind of like asking "should I date a guy that is 5'10"?" There are just too many different ways it can go.

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    • Yes, you're absolutely right. I guess I was just hoping for a general input from people who have been in that situation. I will still have to decide for myself, of course. Thanks for your answer!

What Guys Said 1

  • No you won't and you shouldn't try to, and I don't know if he'll be a pain in the ass. But you should know that his kids will always come first when they are around

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    • Yea.. I understand that his kids will always come first but I fear that I won't be able to cope with that.

    • That's something you have to decide for yourself now. It'd be just like with a man having a demanding job as a lawyer. There's days where he just won't have time with you and you have to be ok with that.

    • Well, I guess I can't really make up my mind without experiencing it, though. He's really nice and he's very into me.. I guess I shoudn't deny him a date just because he has kids, it doesn't sound fair. So I'm thinking I should maybe go out with him and see how it goes.

What Girls Said 0

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