I think my boyfriend is a vampire, please help?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for nearly 3 months now and recently he's started to bite me, he started nibbling at first but then he started properly biting me. Today he has bit my neck and shoulders like 10 times. I keep asking him if he's a vampire but he says no he's not. I think he's a vampire because he keeps doing these things:
- Keeps saying to me "i bet you have fresh blood"
- He says he loves biting me
- He's skin is always cold then it goes to room temperature then cold again
- He DOESN'T have fangs
- He has a quick speedy reaction such as when i got his phone once at his house he quickly came and snatched it off me
- He's strong
- He's skin is quite pale
- He's eyes are dark brown, I've only seen them change to hazel colour

Well what do you lot think? Because I have deep red teeth marks on my neck now and he also said he will bite harder. Need advice please help?

[ConnieS]

He keeps saying to you "I bet you have fresh blood." ? As opposed to what, stale blood? 😂

If you don't want him to bite you and you ask him to stop - and he doesn't - how considerate is he of your feelings and how much does he care about you?
Yes he loves biting you but he shouldn't do it (and he especially shouldn't bite harder) if you don't want him to.

I'm concerned why he snatched his phone off of you. I wonder if he's hiding something from you (like maybe another girlfriend). Being a vampire or not may be the least of his problems!
Good luck, hon. :)

[Account]

Calm down, Bela. Everything is going to be just fine.
*Spoiler* He is going to turn you into a vampire and you will hunt together *Spoiler*.

[Eternallylucky]

Ward him off with your garlic and onions.

Bite him back, hon. It's only fair.

[Anonymous]

He might be a screwball mental case who thinks he's a vampire.

And in that sense, he would be well matched with you, another insane person who doesn't know the difference between fiction and reality.

Vampires are not real, you stupid Twilight obsessed girl.

[AlexCab]

Next time he bites, grab him by his thumbs (one fist per hand) and subdue him. Then bite him back. If you don't turn into a vampire, then he's just a biting ass :)

[virginguru]

Go out to an authentic Italian restaurant and order anything ( its usually heavily seasoned with garlic) if he eats it and doesn't croak he is human. lol

[Vesuvius87]

LOL nice... try taking him out during the daytime. If he starts covering himself and melts then yes he's indeed a vampire. If not, he's just a guy that's likes hard sex and is fascinated with vampire stories.

[inamorata]

If you're not trolling, your boyfriend is probably a sexual sadist. When you have sex, you're fucked (I mean figuratively, not just literally).

Other than that, try garlic, or a cross. Whatever works for you. ^^

[Tombstone1000100]

Take him out in the sun and take his shirt off , if he sparkles then he's a vampire definitely and not to mention gay as well.

[findingdreamland]

Too much vampire movie alarm. Lol There is no such thing like vampire. Say him, stop this biting already. This is too much. Or bite him back lool

[IsabelleBk]

Hahahahaha, best question on here.
Yes I'm sorry but he really is a vampire. Be careful. Run. Srsly.
im srs

[HeyJustBeingMe]

Hey great nice fantasy story and trollll. i can almost make a movie out of this.. the downside is that it will be a short one haha

[Vesuvius87]

definitely the funniest troll. Too bad the Asker made it so obvious.

[SomethingWicked]

Congratulations your boyfriend is a vampire, how does it feel knowing that you make out with a dead guy?

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Oh jeez. Ok, he's not a vampire, but may watch too many vampire movies. If he won't stop biting you, you need to break up.

[harrison102]

What you do is put garlic on you neck and sleep with a cross on you belly and when he is sleeping get a wooden stake up it be tween the 8th and 9th rib and hit it hard with a hammer. That should do it :)

[lexih2146]

haha omg best question ever. take him outside in the sunlight and see if he sparkles of something, but I don't think he's a vampire just a weirdo

[Anonymous]

Yea, sure, he is a vampire. Just remember to keep some garlic around your neck and everything's gonna be fine. Just in case, carry a stake with you.

[milafox]

Does he sparkle in the sunlight tho?

[LastGirlScout]

Dumbest question I can recall...

[justbanANNAz]

LOL jus give him some garlic and c what happens;)

[SuaveHandle]

Face palm. Captain Picard style.

[rUinSAYAN]

still a better love story than Twilight

[rUinSAYAN]

oh and I rather call the expert @emptymatrioska

[Kshppatel]

Use your fairy powers on him.

[COCOCHANEL]

sounds like you have a vampire fetish

[cesvcarl0s]

Lol hun.. this is funny.. im sure you like it..