Why do women despise me? (Pics and description of me included)?

I don't know what is so bad about me.

I just don't want to be alone.

I literally have a 0% success rate though, no women are interested in me. I can't meet women through friends as all my friends are males who are virgins and social outcasts. Some ways I've tried and failed to meet women...

Nightclubs.
Bars.
Approaching strangers during the day (libraries, coffee shops, on the street).
Online dating.
Joining classes (dance, yoga, languages).

Before anyone asks why its more a combination of factors than any single one, I just have nothing that women value. Little description of myself...

Below average height.
Face is unattractive (big nose, recessed jaws, severe asymmetry, receding hairline).
Shit bone structure (narrow shoulders, wide hips for a male).
Slim, kind of athletic build.
Somewhat intelligent, definitely top 10% of population, probably top 5% (not actually tested but I was among the very top students at my school, especially in maths, despite putting in no effort, not even doing homework or revising for exams, they even gave up expecting me to do any work by the end lol).
Mild social anxiety.
Very depressed.
Overly sensitive.
Lazy/unmotivated for anything.
Very little empathy for anyone but me and others in my situation.
Dislikes socialising (but I attempt it anyway).
Quiet/reserved, even around people I know very well.
Very few hobbies/interests.
No interest in pop culture.
Low paid, insecure job (although competency highly respected by colleagues and management, haven't been fired despite being late every day for the past month, sometimes by several hours lol).
No car or drivers license.
No post high school education (never attended due to depression/laziness and not seeing the point).
Very few friends.

Basically I'm everything women don't like in a guy.

Any ideas what I can do/change to get a girlfriend?

Pictures of me - s1285.photobucket.com/.../sbfgsjncvd?sort=3&page=1


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're blaming your looks, and I've said this before, I don't buy it. It may be true that if you put a staggeringly good looking guy's picture as your profile women go for that, but your pic is 'good enough' for sure.

    "Mild social anxiety.
    Very depressed.
    Overly sensitive.
    Lazy/unmotivated for anything."

    I believe these are the big issues. And they feed into each other.

    I'll maybe throw out two things.

    One, and this applies to how you view yourself, how you view life, and I suspect your interactions with girls - you are mentally primed to be receptive to negative information, and to discard positive information. On top of feeling like shit and unmotivated, I suspect it poisons your interaction with girls. She could give 4 positive signs and two negative, and you'd seize on the negative signs as being 'true' and the others not being. Of course there are other guys out there who could get one positive, 5 negative, and be convinced (wrongly) that the girl wants him. But I'm -highly- suspicious that you would assume you were toast at the first negative sign even if there were a lot of positive ones.

    My only other wildcard, change things up suggestion? And I'm totally serious? ... take up boxing. Train at least 3x a week, get to the point of sparring at least. There are a pile of reasons I think so.

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    • I'd say those things come from how women treat me, not the other way around.

      I don't give up at the first negative sign, unless its a proper negative. (ie Can I have your number? No, I've got a boyfriend).

      Why would boxing help me?

    • Message me. Some of it is private.

What Girls Said 8

  • you're not super ugly you're just lame.

    you're negative, self effacing, admittedly not social, lazy and don't try to succeed in anything and you're seriously not sure why you can't get women?

    imagine you were on a dating site and you read a girls profile that was identical of yours. would she sound like someone youd want in your life? probably not. you need to improve your life before you expect a woman to want to get in it.

    start by doing things to build inner confidence. achieving goals and making small successes will help you feel more capable and positive. start looking for a better job and/or building the skills to get a better job. maybe by enrolling in some classes... get a car and drivers license. start there

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    • I'd still message her, especially if she was physically attractive.

      Also women will message, and even sleep with, attractive men regardless of personality traits.

      I don't want a better job or a car.

    • lets keep 100, you aren't exactly attractive or charming enough to get away with having a shitty job and no car. so either try to improve yourself or keep getting the results your getting

    • What do you mean?

  • There's a password so I can't see the picture but tbh guys don't want girls with baggage and girls don't want guys with baggage. And you're SUCH a pessimist, there is hardly anything on that list that is something good about yourself. Enhance your good points.

    Btw, the outernet isn't as terrifying as it may sound

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  • Just looking at the pics you are fine to me. Don't smil your mouth open it doesn't look good.
    And I am reading your physical description to yourself and it is so cruel. You are not Brad Pitt but you don't need to be.
    Also everyone is depressed these days. You need to motivate yourself somehow. Do not afraid of the girls. Just go and start talking. You will find someone I am sure...

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  • the website need a password to see the picture --'

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  • If you read what you have written, then It's not weird they reject you. I could never be whit someone that insecure.
    Especially there needs to change-->
    Very depressed. (I get that this one, you don't just change, but you need help to get over it)
    Overly sensitive.
    Lazy/unmotivated for anything.
    Very little empathy for anyone but me and others in my situation.
    Nothing wrong with the face and body, so it's only how you are, and how you act that needs to change.

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    • How can I not be depressed when the entire opposite sex hates me?

    • They don't. Men much less attractive than you, get girlfriends. Honestly, you already annoy me, and I don't even know you. So you most likely annoy all other women you meet too. You need to change your attitude, and stop feeling so sorry for yourself. Im pretty attractive, I get a lot of male attention, I have to say so, and I would date someone whit your look. But your personality I couldn't even be friends whit. Luckily that you can change.

    • So even you are annoyed by me and think most women are too after I've said one sentence to you?

      See what I mean about the entire opposite sex hating me?

  • It's your depression, your vibe doesn't match with the people, you want to get to be with and your friends kind of reflect what you are too.

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    • No. My depression is a symptom, not a cause.

    • It has pretty much taken over your psyche. You obsess about women every minute, hr and day. Work on your attitude and what you see of the world and take a break from trying to get laid all the time.

    • Not trying to get laid won't help me get laid.

  • By your description I thought I was gonna see some sort of ogre. You're handsome, guess you only have low self-esteem.

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    • I'm only considered handsome on GAG. Everywhere else I am an ogre.

      Unless of course everyone here is just wrong/lying. I've never found a single rate me question on here where the person was anything less than average according to the userbase here. So I'm going with this explanation.

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    • it'll be*

    • How are other peoples opinions not important in interpersonal relationships? Are you implying I should just make women my partner whether they want to be or not?

  • First off... you're not unattractive at all, I find you kinda cute... so your lack of success has nothing to do with your looks. Based on the description of yourself, you have very low self-esteem and you don't love yourself so on a sub conscience level, you feel you don't deserve to be loved therefore you don't attract love. Start loving and appreciating yourself and the rest will follow.

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    • Then why can I be successful on online dating when using someone else's picture?

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    • Despite sending the exact same messages from the exact same profile?

      The only change is the pictures, how could it not be my looks?

    • I'm sorry... but it's not your looks... you can have twins say or write the exact same thing and both will get a different reaction. It's a vibe we give out, and although we're not aware of it, we can sense it others and they can sense it in us. Like I said before, love yourself and others will love you. My BF is the ugliest guy I have ever dated and I love him dearly... we got together through social networking but I'd seen him before in the flesh, and I would never have given him the time of day... but he won me over with his confidence and sense of humor. All of that happened by text... and like I said... he is really unattractive.

What Guys Said 7

  • im not saying you NEED to get help or anything,
    because with lazyness, and overly sensitive it probably wouldn't even work that well...

    HOWEVER, you need to get this into your head very clear.
    you have everything in you, to do good, to be good, and to be better.

    i dislike socialising but ONLY because im scared.
    i have this thing called PDD-Nos since i was little, i tend to understand people in the wrong way, i sometimes get things the wrong way or look at people and think wrongly about them. i can't help it much, but im being helped with it.
    as a little kid i would hide in any corner of the living room when visiters came along.
    not look at them, be quiet. and sit there until they went home again.
    at the time everyone said i was just shy.

    im sensitive in a way that people could hurt my feelings very fast,
    i was depressed for a very long time. but i tend to look at the world more positive now i got a little help.
    i was lazy, and lazyness by itself just doesn't get you anywhere.
    i was very unmotivated.
    now i realize all this time i had a goal. im turning 23 very soon and am desperate for a new job,
    motivated to take on everything.

    i want a loving and caring (future) wife and possibly kids. id also like some money, because without it i won't get anywhere. and where to get money? exactly.. a job. thats why i take on everything.
    so far i haven't succeeded in everything, but i won't give up..
    if i do give up, nothing comes from it and i will still be here without a fckin job.
    because thats where it all starts for me.
    I've been fired before and now i just want a job in return.
    i won't take no for an answer. if i do get a no, they can suck my ballz and i will personally tell them to stick their necktie up their asses. because if i get a no, the job just wasn't for me and my helping hand wasn't enough for them. moving on.

    like i said, you have the power to do and change things.

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  • You're depressed. Work on that first. It seems harder that way but it's the only way.

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    • Of course I'm depressed. So would you be in my situation.

    • I mean depression is the cause not the effect.

  • Your depression and low self-esteem are destroying your chances. It's fucking brutal, I've been going through that too. At times I feel like the most hideous, stupid person ever.

    Don't let some bitch tell you that you're lame or boring... your situation can consume all of your energy and it's like a battle on all fronts. Your own mind wants to defeat you and so does everyone else. Ignore the criticism from outside sources and make sure you do something every day that confirms that you aren't a piece of shit.

    Good luck man

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  • Change 65% of the things on your list that are changeable, wear better clothes, fake it till you make it and go for tons of women because the numbers game works.

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  • women do everything in their power to drag us men down, through their social interactions with us, through the way they vote, everything. then they expect us to be strong go getters. women are messed up. i feel ya

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  • You're depressed and down. No one wants to date Debbie Downer.

    Instead of focusing on things you can't change (most of which are not the impediments you believe anyway, like your height or the fact that you're intelligent) tell us more about something that CAN be changed. Tell us how you approach, because I guarantee that's where the problem is. I'd say your approach sucks, especially if you're such a negative person.

    Tell us two or three examples, in detail, of how you approached someone. We'll advise from there.

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  • Dude the way you described your face I was expecting an unattractive person. You look really good and DAMN that hot body and sex line! Have a bit more faith in yourself! :)

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    • Men have much lower standards than women. I get more sexual attention from men than women, despite being straight.

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    • If women would find me cute then why don't they?

    • They do. Random women don't just walk up to you and say you're cute you know! They need to like you/be in a relationship with you/be friends etc. before they can say that stuff

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