I've been on 5 wonderful dates with a guy I met online. On our 4th date, it ended at like 3 AM, so he invited me to sleep over but added it was "my choice". I wasn't sure if he was alluding to having sex, so I thought it would be a good time to tell him I was waiting for marriage.
Needless, to say he was very stunned and confused. And he said it was like a bombshell. But he still kissed me goodbye. The next day he asked me if I got home ok and that he had an interesting evening.
On Sunday, he asked me to go for a walk with him in the park like we talked about on Friday. As always, he continued to be very affectionate, holding my hand, hugging me, kissing my face. He brought it up again that he was very surprised and he asked me if I didn't like sex... I said absolutely I love it and told him my reasons again. He said he wasn't looking to get married anytime soon, and I said neither was I. I asked him what he wanted to do then, if he needed more time to think about it. I think he said Yeah, but he then started talking about something else.
We moved to another area by the water in a secluded part. And we were making out a bit, but he was so sweet and affectionate. We were laughing and talking. We joked about buying a boat together and he said it would suck if we broke up cause how would we split the boat piece by piece (Was this a reference to us being exclusive?). Later after an intense kiss, he said something like, I don't know how I'm going to date you without having sex with you. As we were leaving, there was a couple kids that passed us, and he asked me if I wanted kids... I said I was undecided and not anytime soon, he said the same.
His father is visiting him this week so I'm assuming I won't see him again til after. Should I just let the ball go in his court... i. e., wait for him to contact me again? Is he just trying this to see how it goes and to see how much he is into me?
Most Helpful Guy
I kinda feel like you indirectly "trapped" him. You waited a very long time to bring this up as this is a pretty import thing to note, (some guys, like myself, are afraid or not interested in marriage, and even if we were it could be years away or it could end up getting rushed to get to the sex).
By doing this you got him interested in you enough for him to stay hooked on you just by the love of you as a person, the reason this could be bad is because if he would have originally not hooked up with you knowing you were waiting, this sentiment will probably eventually overwhelm his non sexual interest in you. Causing him to distance himself and lose interest.
On a related note, why wait until "marriage"? What is the significance of marriage? Is it for religious reasons? To me marriage is no longer anything more than symbolism in today's society.
Instead of waiting until marriage, why not wait until common law?
I am pretty sure you become common law after living with someone a certain amount of time. This will make him not feel pressured to try to marry you quickly for sex, while keeping him more interested if he is afraid of marriage itself.0