I think he might be stalking me? A bit of a complicated question!?

I've been attending college since the beginning of September, and this guy is in the majority of my classes. He sits beside me pretty much at all times even though there isn't assigned seating or anything. I can always sense his gaze on me whenever I'm copying down notes or asking a question at the front during our small break near the end of class :) I just feel like he's too aware of everything I do. I don't know if I should be creeped out or flattered, lol :P A few days ago I heard his friend talking to him and he was like, "Are you gonna ask her?" and then nodded in my direction (I was the only person standing in the hallway at the time). I paused and looked at them but he didn't say anything. I could hear them talking in hushed voices but he didn't approach me until I was pretty much halfway down the hallway. He sprinted towards me and then asked if I wanted to attend one of their parties. I was hesitant since I don't normally drink or go to parties, but I thought it would be rude to say no so I just said I'd think about it. He placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "Can't wait to see you there." A few days later my friend told me she was invited to the same party & she wouldn't stop bothering me until I agreed to go :) So I ended up talking to him all night at the party & he was very obviously flirting with me. The only thing is I think he mistook my friendliness for interest. We had a little too much to drink and he insisted on driving me home because my friends had already left. I agreed and then he spent the ride talking about how much he likes me & how he was really interested in getting to know me. The way he said it set off alarms in my head though. I can't really explain it but I just think something is off about him. For the next little while he continued waiting for me by my home and after class ended. I just don't know what to do. He keeps showing up everywhere I go. I think he wants a relationship with me, but I'm not interested in dating anyone now


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First off, I would assume by all your smilies that you LIKE this attention. Second, if you're not into him, TELL him. He could easily just be shy and socially awkward. AFTER you tell him no, if he's still following you around and showing up everywhere, you need to document EVERYTHING, or the police won't be able to help you. Try to take photos with date and time stamps, or friends nearby to witness, and keep a log. If he tries talking to you or calling you when you've told him to leave you alone, record it. All smart phones now come preloaded with a voice recorder, and you can get a call recording app for free.

    I've been stalked. And although it's not your fault when they choose you, much as I hate to admit this, sometimes we do subconsciously encourage it by making ourselves an easy target, or appearing to enjoy it. Stalkers always believe that you want them doing this to you, because they're "only trying to protect you". That's the lie they tell themselves. This is NOT some game, it's not fun, and it can be dangerous, so I hope you're just reading too much into this. It may be flattering now, but when your life is being threatened at 2 am because you're not sleeping naked when he can peek at you, it literally makes you crazy.

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What Guys Said 4

  • thats not stalking, he is interested in you, its normall for people to pop up where ever you are, because they like spending time with you. just tell him that you aren't interested in dating anyone right now. instead of wondering yourself if he is stalking to you, you make yourself paranoia and maybe ruin his life as well, when someone finds out that you think he is stalking you. stalkers, intend stalking people, to cause them harm. thereby if you are so scared of him, why even get in a car with him, call a taxi, your parents a friend etc..

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  • It sounds like he really likes you. He may be uncomfortable and it makes him seam awkward. Set boundaries with him, if you like him, want to be friends or want to go out... talk to him. He is interested in you. don't be mysterious tell him what you want... You can reject someone and be kind at the same time. Be less concered about his behavior now but watch what happens after you set boundaries. Guys think girls like being pursued... and sending mixed signals can be confusing for guys. It's no ones fault we are just "wired" differently.

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  • "mistook my friendliness for interest"

    1. Never say or for that matter even think this ever again.
    2. Grow up.

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    • Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. This was posted 2 months ago & I don't think you have the right to judge someone based on one question they asked. This website is meant for people who have legitimate questions & people should be respectful of that

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    • Also, this is called Girls ASK guys. Not Agree with me OR ELSE.

    • I'm not objecting to the fact that people have different opinions. In my first comment I wrote that "everyone is entitled to their own opinion." What I'm objecting to is that you're making a judgement call about having to "grow up" when you don't know anything about me. Just the fact that you made that comment without any real basis behind it shows that you're not being accepting. Why even respond at all to a question that isn't even relevant anymore? My point is that even if I have to "grow up" as you put it, who are you to judge me or anyone else for that matter? This doesn't create an accepting or helpful environment

What Girls Said 1

  • When I was reading the part prior to him asking you out, it seemed pretty normal, but if he's waiting for you after classes and stuff, and showing up everywhere even if you're not really dating... he must be pretty obsessive. That is a little bit creepy, and you'll probably just need to tell him to back off

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    • I've only known him for about two weeks, and we never even went out on an official date or anything. I just don't know how to explain this to him without setting him off or making him even more obsessive. If you have any suggestions don't hesitate to tell me :)

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