Am I a bad person? Or no?

I've been on a couple dates and all. I've never had a relationship, but I don't think that really matters for this problem. I workout because I like to keep in shape and I have a job, go to school, am in the military, and am generally a good hearted dude. My problem is that I feel like a terrible person because I don't like that girls that are really really below my standards are the only ones that give me the time of day. I've gone a dates with them and I was never rude or an ass. They're generally nice people, but I never connected to them on a emotional or physical level. I feel like a bad person for asking why heavier girls are the only ones interested in me. I know there's more to looks, but still. I've got mediocre standards (average) yet, I have to go as low as I can to get a date or have a girl willingly interact with me. It's sad. I feel bad when people say I'm too picky or I'm not giving them a chance, but it's not my fault I don't connect with a girl whether she is big or skinny.

  • Yes
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  • No
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  • Maybe
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  • No idea
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are not a bad person at all! I think that what you're feeling is completely natural and understandable. No, looks aren't everything, but yes, they are important. You need to have at least a little physical attraction to be happy with someone. From what you've said about yourself, it sounds like any girl would love to be with you, but perhaps the one's who are "chasing" you are the ones that you aren't interested in. It's possible, and probably true, that girls that you would want to date aren't as forward as the other girls.

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What Girls Said 1

  • At least you're giving them the time of day (which is admittedly better than what I do). Nobody can bash your behavior without being a complete hypocrite because everyone is entitled to their preferences. It took me FOREVER to find a nice man for myself because, let's face it, dudes who are willing to date military chicks are the minority. That on top of my standards didn't stack up well at all. You just gotta hold on to your standards and someday you'll find that girl who clicks, lowering your standards will only end in you being unhappy.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't think you are shallow at all (this is not sarcastic) you're actually going on a date with someone that some people may consider unattractive the only part I have beef with is that you a considering them as unattractive consider them for who they personally don't get hung up with fat or skinny just focus on their personality and you'll find someone who you'll. and by the way that won't be easy. its not easy for anyone

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  • What kind of girls are you running into that fall below your standards? What exactly are your standards? It's not really good or bad to have them, I just don't understand why you feel ashamed of them. You need physical attraction for a relationship so if it's not there then that's not your fault.

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