I got told that I'm the nicest guy and a gentleman from a girl I had a date with the other day, what should I do?

So last week I had a date with this gorgeous girl I had a lot in common with that I met off a dating site. We talked and texted for a little over a week until our date and our conversations would go on for awhile. I felt that we really hit it off on our date, she asked about seeing each other again later on. Then I texted her about a band I was seeing that she liked the next day after. Then today I sent her a text saying what's up then a few hours she says I'm the nicest guy, have a lot of great things going for me, how i'm a gentleman but she felt no chemistry or spark that she hoped for.

This isn't the first time I've been told I'm nice or a gentleman but honestly I feel that when I hear that it implies I'm a doormat or a pushover. Honestly I don't be nice in order to expect stuff in return. Nor do I go around telling people I'm nice but I feel like it's hurt my chances with women in getting a relationship. Should I change how I go about things? I don't mean pretend to be something I'm not but whatever I'm doing isn't working as it gets the same results.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • She still in the little girl stage. Your in the man stage. When that happens it's usually because the woman is afraid she will hurt you based on her own past experience. Sometimes people get exactly what they want and then when they get it realize they don't want what they thought they did and really have no clue what they want. Don't worry, the next time some guy calls her a beech, cheats on her or disrespects her I guarantee she will think of you and yap to her girls about not being able to find a good guy.

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    • It sucks having to play those games where in order to get a girl to like you, you have to pretend to act uninterested or otherwise you come off as clingy. It's almost like you have to constantly play chase otherwise the moment you make yourself available or show interest back you're no longer attractive.

    • She probably just wanted sex and nothing too serious. You were a breath of fresh air from all the random guys trying to get in her pants but part of her likes those random guys trying to get in her pants. You have to treat her like dust on your shoulder and just say if you don't like me... then whatever. The last thing you want to do is to let her know she hurt you.

    • I don't even know what she wanted, but I don't think I hinted that I wanted a relationship with her or even sex necessarily especially since it was our first date. I mean yeah she was someone I could see myself dating but I didn't make it obvious that I wanted a relationship with her.

What Girls Said 1

  • It has nothing to do with you being a gentlemen... Not everyone is going to feel "chemistry". She was being honest. Don't assume it is because you are a genuine nice person, that is the first mistake, assuming the reason is because you are nice.

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    • Yeah and she is better than most in the sense that she gave her reasons compared to a few who ditch without saying anything. I know not everyone is going to like me like that or feel chemistry. It's just I've been going through a lot of this over the year and the real issue isn't her but more of the situation. It just sucks when it's with someone you have a lot in common with and share a lot of views with.

    • It just seems like I do better with people that I have less in common with as opposed to ones I'm more interested in. Coincidentally, the ones that share more common interests have been more physically attractive as well. Not that I base everything off looks, but having stuff in common is very important as well as being somewhat attractive.

What Guys Said 5

  • My current girlfriend of 5 years said the same thing on our second date. She said "You're to nice this is not going to work out." So I walked her to the elevator with a plate of food I had made.
    When we got on the elevator, a couple guys made a comment about the chocolate covered strawberries she had in her hand. I looked at them and said "I only made them for her because I thought I'd get lucky tonight." She laughed and realized I can be an asshole.
    Yeah unfortunately women date assholes. Try to get her to go out with you again but act uninterested in her and flirt with other women in front of her if possible. It won't hurt to try, she's already lost interest.
    I almost lost the woman of my dreams because I was being to nice. It's a game of cat and mouse, she must feel that dominance to feel chemistry.

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    • What's the difference between being genuinely nice and being a pushover? I feel like those are lumped into the same category.

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    • Yeah you're definitely right about that. In fact, I got into a conversation recently with a few female friends how they said girls want nice guys and they said they do.

      I think what they want is guys who are dicks at first but then become nice.

    • Yep. The "I can change his ways" relationship.

  • Just mix in some humor and find a way to playfully disagree with her about something. That should help in the future.

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    • Sense of humor isn't the issue. But yeah it gets tricky with the disagreement part. I don't agree to agree for the sake of avoiding conflict. I just really had a lot in common with this person and saw eye to eye on a lot of things. So I should playfully disagree even if I do agree?

  • Get rdy for the BIC gun! I smell the friendzone rocketing in on ya Mr. Nice Guy ;P

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  • You smash her pussy that is what you do she wan'ts the D

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  • Sounds like you made it too easy for her. Make her earn you attention.

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