"Interracial dating = self hate?" How does that make any sense?

I hear people say that if you don't find the opposite sex of your own race attractive or you just EXCLUSIVELY date other races but yours, then that means you not only hate your own race but hate yourself as well. Has anybody ever said that to you and if they did, did you take offense to it?

Just because a person don't find the opposite sex of their own race attractive, doesn't mean they hate themselves. I guess if a overweight woman is not attracted to overweight men she hates herself? A short woman who isn't attracted to sort men, hates herself. What's the difference here?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with you, I don't date black men only because I've had so many bad experiences with black men, how they want me to be as white girl as possible. while white men are nicer and love my different hair, and my body, and yeah just overall, that's why I don't date black men.

    but I totally agree with you, I don't hate myself. some people do and that's why they date a different race, out of insecurity, but me personally, I don't date black men because they are mean, they don't like the natural look, unlike whit men who like you for who you are

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What Guys Said 10

  • First, stop listening and caring what other people think. There are many women who hate or strongly dislike their own race and a few are called traders. Take Latin women in Machismo countries where the men treat the women like punts and sex toys the difference is they may find them attractive but know in their heart they will cheat.

    Second, the fact that you do not find the opposite sex of your own race attractive makes you more small minded and not hating yourself.

    You worry about things that just keep the mind busy doing nothing.

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  • Sure it does. Let me clarify. It totally absolutely as in 100% means that you have self hate issues. Why? Because you are looking at what is racially most similar to yourself and to AUTOMATICALLY think that because they look you in that way that they are unattractive means... hold on let me go back... it means you have self hate issues. Not liking the vibe they put off and how a person acts is one thing but looking at them and them looking like you and saying that's ugly can only mean your saying that you are ugly too. I'm mixed and have seen plenty of unattractive mixed women BUT not because they were mixed but because there was something about them I that made me go, yuck or whatever. Seen a lot of hot ones too.

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  • That kind of logic they are using with you makes no sense at all

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  • People should date who they want. It's really not up to other people to set your preferences for you. In your dating life, is it more important to make outsiders happy with your choices, or is it more important to make you happy. I would argue that your own happiness is more important in this case. So if you find one ethnic group more physically attractive than another, well that's within your right. If a girl I was into told me that she didn't find black men physically attractive, I wouldn't call her a racist for it, nor would I call her a self hater if she were a black woman in particular. Let people do as they please with their own dating preferences

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  • It sounds like you just want us to agree with you... Well we all do, whoever said that to you is retarded.

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  • Opposition to interracial dating is a collectivist mindset. If opponents were actually thinking about themselves, they wouldn't opposite it.

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  • I've never heard that. And I've been with three different ethnicities including my own. But there are probably women like that. Maybe men too

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  • It would also follow that all straight people hate themselves because they're attracted to the opposite sex. Or that anyone who's not a complete narcissist hates themselves for being attracted to another person.

    TBH it sounds like ridiculous racist logic.

    I mean, of course some people (myself included) try to fill a void inside with other people. Which is maybe not entirely healthy. I don't know.

    But race? Race should not matter. Love is for all.

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  • I only care about who I date

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  • I don't care what race of woman I date. I usually date on similar interests.

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What Girls Said 7

  • its very telling that you compare the opposite sex of your race with being fat or short.

    Freudian slips reveal a lot more than you realize.

    its self hate because people who don't like their race do it because they think the opposite sex of their race is in some way inferior to others. if you don't see whats wrong with that, I am saddened for you. if your father and mother felt that way you wouldn't be here.

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  • I do not discriminate if I find a guy attractive I will date him

    Of course there are cultural factors that may affect my choice but to be honest a relationship is a two-way street.

    The girl in the guy has like each other and unfortunately sometimes that is not always the case.

    People have certain stereotypes about other races and when they are proven wrong they retaliate badly

    My point is if a person wants to date outside of their race there is nothing wrong with it but they shouldn't get upset if the person does not like them back

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  • Interracial dating is self hate IF you PURPOSELY ONLY date interracially!!!

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    • How? Could you be more specific?

    • In the case of black people. Black is black is black. You can't hate a black man's black and love your black at the same time. You can't... in your right mind... have an aversion to blackness when you're black yourself.

  • The statement can be true for some people, but it's not true in my case.

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  • Where I live interracial dating is the most common thing on the planet. I don't think very many people care much anymore, lol.

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  • It's a ridiculous statement... but true in some cases.

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