Online Dating - The Rules?

I am little confused about online dating. I have recently started using Okcupid due to moving to a new area. I have tried to look up the "rules" for online dating (I know, it sounds silly) but I am still a little confused.

I understand you find someone interesting and you start talking or someone starts talking to you. Send some messages back and forth, then exchange numbers, meet up, and so on. But what happens after the first date? Is it normal to be dating more than one person at a time? How do you go from dating to a committed relationship? If you only want to date and not be committed, how do you tell someone that without coming off as harsh?

Background: My shortest relationship was 2-years and I have been in three relationships. So I am accustom to either being single and enjoying being alone or focused on only one guy. I feel like a puppy that has no idea what is going on. Just want other people's views on how to handle online dating.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There aren't any rules. You just have to talk about this with the other person. A lot of people take advantage of people like you that don't know how to interpret dating online. If you don't discuss whether or not you are still seeing other people then, there is a good chance that the other person still is, and is hoping you don't know about it. That way you will be faithful, while they continue to look. Then they will claim they never promised to be exclusive, and they will be right.

    Iron_man is right about a lot of the women on those sites, and what you need to understand is that there are a lot of guys on the sites that are just as bad. There are so many people on there trying to use one another, that you have to protect yourself, and part of that is asking if they are still planning on dating other people. At least that way you don't end up blaming yourself for not asking, if later you do find out they are dating someone else after you become emotionally invested.

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What Guys Said 3

  • There are no rules those kind of chicks date left and right And who ever treats and spoils them the most wins the prize, they don't even care that much about looks they want financial support. Any girl over 21 is looking for the next father figure to take over. You will see for yourself if you get into it. They lie there ass off and tell you what you want to hear online, but the true test comes when hanging out. Watch your back myfriend

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    • Well then. I don't want a new financial support, a father figure, or someone who only looks good. I am sure there are women who do that and men who have poor intentions as well. I will be careful then. Thanks.

    • Sorry my bad I thought you were a guy.

  • Unfortunately, there are no rules on okcupid. It's chaos. No rules, no reasonable expectation people will be courteous or sane... nada.

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  • "how do you go from dating to a committed relationship" the same as any other relationship I assume.

    Don't worry about dating online, all you need to do is put a picture of you that looks good and choose from hundreds of guys who message you who to message back, then when you get to the dating stage.. do whatever it is you did to get into those previous three relationships and I'm sure it will work..

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What Girls Said 1

  • DON'T judge a book by it's cover. People online lie and airbrush themselves. You'll do it too, even if you don't realize it or mean to. People are more likely to judge based on appearance alone when searching for a date online.

    I recommend talking to them exclusively on the site for a few days before agreeing to communicate through other channels not on the site itself. If they're looking for an easy lay, they won't bother with waiting until you're comfortable to give out a number or chat ID. I also recommend turning off the site's built in chat feature for the first week or you will get spammed by random guys. New profiles, and profiles that haven't been active in a while get bumped to the top of the list when activated to give them higher priority to meet people faster.

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